Difference of Opinions?

We are on the same page with the things that are most important to us: our values, we have the same life goals. I am more spiritual than him but he is always willing to go to church with me, etc if I want. We some differen hobbies but same sense of humor and outlook on life. Politics- we are somewhat different but we learn a lot from each other and again have similar values when it comes to the things that are most important to us. When it comes to differences, it's good to work on respecting those and focusing on learning about their beliefs in order to further respect their view. And look for commonalities. You can have differences, but if your life goals and what you consider to be your highest values aren't similar, that's where the biggest issues arise imo.

We agree on politics and finances. Religion we agree to disagree. I am Catholic and he is agnostic. He agreed that our kids can attend catholic school but should they decide the believe in something else (or nothing) we're cool with it. I attend church with the kids and he will come for school events and major holidays but I know he would rather be elsewhere.

I feel like having those major values shared just makes things much easier... Especially for child raising.

I've been in relationships where I didn't see eye to eye with the dude, and it never worked. So I made it a priority to be with a man who shared the same values and views as I did.

One of the most attractive things about FH is that he shares these views with me. <3

We disagree on a lot of things but most of them are stuff we don't usually talk about. I'm Wiccan he is atheist. For politics we used to debate but not so much anymore because I am better, but I was a cj and poly sci major and he does comp programming. But on child raising we have a plan even if we don't want them yet. Our biggest difference is in house chores actually. He's a clean freak and i...not so much lol

My FH and I were raised VERY differently. I was raised in a hippy commune in Alaska and he was raised in the bad part of Jacksonville, Florida. Needless to say, I'm very liberal and he's very conservative. We respect each others opinions, but if the large issues were actual ISSUES for us, there's no way it could work out, IMO.

Please get premarital counseling.

FH and I agree on most major topics, but you're bound to disagree on some things. I would maybe consider premarital counseling. In my opinion, you'd want to make sure you're on the same page before getting married with certain things (i.e. children and how to parent, etc.). Those types of things would definitely be deal breakers for me. But I don't personally think politics would be a deal breaker. I think it just depends.

DH and I are pretty similar. He's a much more involved talker and debater than I am due to his family, but don't disagree on a lot. He is very conservative as where I am still figuring out some views that people see as socially liberal. We were both raised Catholic (I feel away from it, but rejoined once I felt it was right). I think you definitely need to fall near the same spectrum of views.

Instead of looking into the differences of opinions focus on the similarities. Agree to disagree and most importantly not try to change my opinion. Have respect that I have my own my mind.

Easy. We don't talk about it! He believes what he believes and I believe what I believe. We understand that we won't change each other views so we don't try.

We do occasionally have 'debates' about our views, but I usually don't bother because I get frustrated and give up!

I don’t understand how anyone can be in a relationship with hard opposing religion/politics. If FH had the opposite viewpoint and disagreed with me on major areas then our relationship wouldn’t work. Small nuance differences are fine with me. He loves football and is very musically talented. I am not. I love to curl up with a book to read, it’s not his thing. Those are differences that don’t effect the fundamentals of who we are. Compromise is easy, he watches football while I read. If he was republican? Nope. Your views directly oppose what I believe for living my life. If he was super religious? Nope. We have philosophical discussions all the time about cult/religion/history/human tendencies. I need someone open minded that can look at all angles and I just don't find that to be something religion inspires. Plus raising kids would be difficult. I find it odd that people don’t discuss these things in their relationships because it can be a large part of who the person is. Drunk rants and debates are some of my favorite times with FH.

Leslie and Mrs K, not trying to criticize you, but how is it that you two never bring this stuff up? That would be alarming to me.

FH and I are pretty similar. He was raised Catholic but never really believed that hard in anything concrete, and stopped attending church as soon as his parents let him. I was raised vaguely nondenominational Christian by my grandmother, but neither of my parents are religious. We're both pretty agnostic now, but belief in god(s) isn't something that would be a dealbreaker for me UNLESS they used that belief to justify discrimination.

Like Spazzy said, I'm very liberal and conscious of social justice issues, and while FH is liberal, he has slipped up sometimes and said something that is inherently racist or sexist, but without realizing that it was. So we stop and talk about it and we learn from each other. He's way more on the same page as I am with regard to feminism and lgbtq rights and stuff now. But part of that is just growing up.

On the "same end, different means" train, I'm more voting for Clinton because I like her and think she's a good candidate. He's more voting for Clinton because he's voting against Trump.

You need to figure out exactly what you can and can't work with. FH is Jewish and I am Christian. We've had lots of discussions about how we will handle that difference once we have kids and have worked through as much as we can there. Otherwise we're pretty much the same.

Meanwhile, my cousin and her husband signed their divorce papers yesterday. After 4 years of marriage one wanted kids, the other didn't, and they couldn't work it out.

Differences can work, but you need to be very clear on which ones are deal breakers and which aren't, including down the line as things change.

Yeah, I don't understand how these things don't come up with your partners. Especially in today's political climate, and I'm Canadian.

How are you going to raise any children? Religion and politics were the first things that we discussed when we found out that we were pregnant because it affects where our child goes to school. Eventually those fundamental differences are going to take a toll on your relationship. I am watching a marriage disintegrate because of it right now.

We actually agree on all of that! We were raised two different religions but as we've gotten older it truly doesn't matter. We have learned to respect the diversity and choose our own way of living now.

We agree on all the major topics- politics, religion, raising children, etc. I don't think I could be with someone who disagreed with me on those kinds of thing.

FH and I mostly agree politically. We did have some religious differences we had to work through though. We met at a Catholic retreat, both of us practicing Catholics at the time. In the middle of our relationship, I started wrestling with the idea that maybe there is no God. I read a lot of books on atheism and listened to some atheist podcasts and started feeling resentful about how the Catholic Church had controlled me for the first two decades of my life. I became very hostile toward FH. Both of us had to decide whether or not a mixed faith relationship would work for us. FH is a very progressive Catholic. He supports same-sex marriage and women's reproductive freedom. After a lot of reflection, I decided that it didn't really matter whether or not he believes in God. We started having a lot of important conversations regarding how we want to raise our kids (I'm fine with them being baptized, but I don't want them being indoctrinated by bigoted CCD teachers), whether or not we would continue going to mass together (I go if I wake up in time and sing in the church choir he directs, but I don't participate in the prayers), and what our wedding ceremony would look like (It will incorporate Bible readings, but it won't be a Catholic ceremony. If the church comes around on same-sex marriage, we will have a Catholic vow renewal.) I highly recommend the book "In Faith, In Doubt" by Dale McGowan. It lays out a lot of the important discussions you need to have if you want to make your relationship work. Good luck!