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Just Said Yes December 2021

Didn’t send Save The Dates. When to send invitations?

Rebecca, on July 19, 2021 at 7:10 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 9

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My fiancé proposed in June and we chose to get married on December 11, 2021. Since it was only 6 months out, and now 5 months, we decided not to send STD’s and we’re only sending invitations. When should we mail them out? My invitations ask that they RSVP by November 1st, so we can get a final head count for the venue and for the caterer. We have several out of town/out of state guests coming who will have to make accommodations, but most of our guests are nearby. My mom feels that we should also give our guests enough notice since it’s holiday season and people may be making Christmas plans that interfere with our wedding date.

I really need insight and advice! I’m having anxiety dreams about something going wrong already!

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9 Comments

Latest activity by Kari, on July 20, 2021 at 10:29 AM

Super October 2022
AJ · on July 19, 2021 at 7:35 PM
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Usually invites go out 6-8 weeks before the wedding with RSVPS due 2-3 weeks for final count for the venue. Honestly send them out 6-8 weeks before your RSVP date.
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VIP December 2021
mrswinteriscoming · on July 19, 2021 at 7:56 PM
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Our wedding is currently up in the air due to COVID restrictions but assuming that our wedding goes ahead on 12 December 2021, we will be issuing invitations in the last week of August/first week of September and asking for RSVPs back by 1 November 2021.
I wanted RSVPs back 5-6 weeks early to avoid the stress of having to finalise everything last minute, and, just like you, did not send save the dates and hence wanted to give our guests plenty of notice.
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Just Said Yes December 2021
Rebecca · on July 19, 2021 at 8:05 PM
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Thank you! I’m glad I’m not the only one. I’ve looked everywhere for advice on what to do if you don’t send save the dates, and I haven’t had any luck. Everything I’ve seen has been the general rule of thumb that seems to be 6-8 weeks, but that’s with STD’s, so I’ve felt stuck!
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VIP December 2021
mrswinteriscoming · on July 19, 2021 at 8:08 PM
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Honestly, while I think STDs are a waste of money (unless for a destination wedding), I think 6-8 weeks is insufficient, especially in peak season or around the holidays - people need time to make plans, take time off work (if need be) etc. The weddings I've all been to have had longer 'invitation windows' (though it may be an Australian thing) and I've never heard anyone complain about having extra time afforded.
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Just Said Yes December 2021
Rebecca · on July 19, 2021 at 8:10 PM
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Yes, exactly! I think I’ll be sending my invitations out mid-August. Our invitations have RSVP postcards attached and we have an RSVP tab on our website, so I’m hoping that two options means we’ll have more guests give us an answer, and sooner rather than later
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Champion December 2022
Michelle · on July 19, 2021 at 8:40 PM
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Save the dates go out at 6 months so you do have time to call people (how the older generations sent them). Invites go out at 6-8 weeks standard. Before 8 weeks, the info will be lost and forgotten. After 6 weeks, people will think you are B listing.

Rsvps are due back around 3-4 weeks with a few days buffer to contact anyone who forgot to reply before you give final numbers to the caterer.
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Super June 2019
Emilia · on July 20, 2021 at 9:10 AM
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You van always make the STDs for free 😉
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Devoted October 2021
Sam · on July 20, 2021 at 9:32 AM
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HI there!
First off CONGRATULATIONS! My fiancé and I are getting married October 2. 2021. Our RSVP due back date is September 1st. We sent our invites out July 12th. That gives our guest 8 weeks to RSVP by the due back date. However, our final numbers are not due to our reception venue until September 22nd. We chose to have our guest to RSVP by September 1st bc we figured some guests still wont make the September 1st deadline. We wanted our RSVPs to be back a few weeks early to give us little wiggle room between then and September 22nd when our numbers really will be due.
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Master May 2020
Kari · on July 20, 2021 at 10:29 AM
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Could you send virtual or informal STDs now?
We send virtual STDs via email, which actually worked out really well. It saved us money, and having everyone's email address in advance ended up super handy when Covid popped into the world and we had to cancel/change plans at the last minute. Emailing all of our guests using the BCC field was WAY easier than it would have been to individually call/text/snail mail them all to let them know our state was shut down and the wedding we planned was not going to happen.
I do think people need more advanced notice of your wedding due to the holidays, but I think getting an invite in August for a wedding in December would make me feel really pressured to give a response well before I was actually ready (I'm one of those people who like to RSVP right away and not force couples to wait anxiously until the deadline). It would probably make me a little anxious TBH.
I would say, if you can informally notify your guests of your date in advance (ASAP) that would be best, even if its a simple "heads up!" text. If for some reason that's not possible I would send the invites a little bit earlier than usual, but probably sometime in mid-late September would be fine. August is still summer and I don't even want to think about snow and the holidays yet. By mid-September, kids are back in school and people's mindsets are already towards "fall" and holidays, so December doesn't seem that far out at that point, but its typically still well before people have actually made holiday plans.
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