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Beginner July 2021

Didn't invite best friend dress shopping

P, on September 8, 2020 at 11:07 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 15

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I made the ultimate mistake of not inviting my best friend dress shopping. A little background info first - she's my best friend from college and I'm going to ask her to be my MOH. She, two other friends and I all did an internship together so we're pretty close. I'm also asking those two other friends to be my bridesmaids.

My first dress appointment was today. Because of COVID, I was only allowed to bring 1 guest. I brought my mom but originally wasn't going to because she is at higher-risk. The original plan was to just go by myself and take lots of photos and send to my bridal party and mom. I decided a few days ago to ask the bridesmaids if they could join via Zoom since they work from home. I didn't invite my MOH since she works in an office and my appointment was at noon.
Since this was my first appointment, I didn't think I'd find THE dress but I did. It was afterwards that I felt guilty for not having invited my MOH. I texted her and told her I had found the dress and apologized for not inviting her. She was hurt and disappointed. We talked and she says she forgives me but I can't get past the fact that I just assumed she wouldn't be able to make it without asking her and now I feel like such a terrible friend because I didn't include her in this special moment.
How should I patch thing up and make things better moving forward??

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15 Comments

Latest activity by Mcskipper, on September 10, 2020 at 2:29 PM

Expert January 2021
Katie · on September 8, 2020 at 11:10 PM
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I mean, she forgave you what’s done is done. Definitely don’t make assumptions , but sounds like you learned a tough lesson.
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Beginner July 2021
P · on September 8, 2020 at 11:13 PM
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Yeah, I definitely did I really didn't have ill-intentions but I realize I went about it the wrong way and feel like poop.
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Expert January 2021
Katie · on September 8, 2020 at 11:38 PM
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Maybe ask her to lunch or something? It sounds like you’ll move on, but that feeling sucks for sure.
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Super May 2021
Stacey · on September 9, 2020 at 12:34 AM
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Maybe invite her to your first fitting instead!
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Beginner July 2021
P · on September 9, 2020 at 12:40 AM
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Thank you! I think I'll do that, and be sure to include her in all the future things like choosing accessories for the dress, outfits for the engagement photos, and all that.
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Beginner July 2021
P · on September 9, 2020 at 12:41 AM
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She lives several hours from me sadly. I'm pretty torn up about it, especially knowing how big of a moment choosing the dress is and not having her be there for it.
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Legend June 2019
Melle · on September 9, 2020 at 12:53 AM
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It sounds like everything will be ok to be honest
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Beginner July 2021
P · on September 9, 2020 at 1:20 AM
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Perhaps you're right. I sure hope so.
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Master October 2021
Mrs.a · on September 9, 2020 at 1:26 AM
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Lesson learned, but hey I would invite her to give her the option to decide on whether she wants to come to your fitting appointment or attend it virtually 😊
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Master October 2021
Sexypoodle · on September 9, 2020 at 1:28 AM
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I’m not sure that I understand or whether I see anything to “patch” up. You could only bring one guest and that person was your mother. So how can your bff be hurt about that? Did she watch via zoom?
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Master October 2020
Yasmine · on September 9, 2020 at 7:00 AM
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Include her in other things! I made my appointment and it was also at noon but I invited my whole bridal party (except my niece because she was in school). All but 1 of them took off for the day so they could attend. Like you said I wouldn't assume because that may be something she was looking forward to.
I don't think its a big deal, but maybe get suggestions and ideas from her so that she feels like she is a part of your big day! You can even invite her to your fittings!
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Expert May 2021
Erin · on September 9, 2020 at 12:30 PM
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"I’m not sure that I understand or whether I see anything to “patch” up. You could only bring one guest and that person was your mother." exactly this... your MOTHER should trump best friend.
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Beginner July 2021
P · on September 9, 2020 at 8:18 PM
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No... I didn't invite her to the Zoom meeting
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Devoted August 2020
Kate · on September 9, 2020 at 11:18 PM
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I agree with the pp who said to invite her to your first fitting. Don’t make this a bigger deal than it is. She’ll be included in plenty of wedding planning festivities, so now that you have apologized and she’s forgiven you, move on and don’t reflect on it! What’s important is your mom was there and you were living in the moment.
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Master July 2018
Mcskipper · on September 10, 2020 at 2:29 PM
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The fact that you’re this concerned means you are a GREAT friend. She says she forgives you, she may be bummed but it’s not the end of the world. You need to forgive *yourself*!! It was a mistake and you learned a lesson and she knows those things. All you need to do to get past it is not do it again. You guys will have many more opportunities for special moments as your day draws near. I know you said she lives far, so inviting her to the fitting is out, but what if you do a quick FaceTime call while you’re there for the fitting in your dress? She can be the first one to see you in your actual dress. If not, no worries. Maybe she can be first on your actual wedding day. Or maybe it’s something else— or maybe it’s nothing— the moment isn’t necessary. It’s a bummer now but it will be an afterthought soon. Forgive yourself!!
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