Did Your SO Ask Your Parents For Their Blessing??

1. Would you have had any reservations if your SO hadn’t asked your parents for their blessing to marry you? --No, but I would have had reservations if he HAD decided to ask them. I absolutely 100% didn't want him to ask my parents for their permission/blessing, and if he hadn't understood that, I would have been very upset.

2. How important to you is a relationship between your SO and your parents? --It's important to me that they have some kind of relationship but I know that relationships take time to develop and effort needs to come from all sides. I am happy with the way this has progressed over the years.

3. Do you consider your MIL/FIL/BIL/SIL to be your own? --Some yes, some no (I have a lot when you factor in all of the different family branches, divorces, etc.). It all comes down to what type of relationships we have built. I don't think calling someone family automatically makes them so. I think it's more about how people interact and treat each other. There's a lot of nuance.

My fiancé did ask my father for permission. We had actually never even discussed it (or marriage) before, so it was completely his idea. Although, I shouldn’t have expected anything less, because he was raised a “good ol country boy” LOL Personally, it wouldn’t have been any sort of dealbreaker for me if he hadn’t asked my father‘s permission. It seems like a very antiquated tradition (I am not my father‘s property and he does not get to choose who I marry), but in certain families I think it is still valued (especially small towns). By no means was I against it, and I think it’s absolutely adorable that he did it!... but it was also unnecessary. As a matter of fact, when he asked my father‘s permission, he said he was cool with it but “Chrysta’s a big girl, she can make her own decisions”. I definitely thought that was awesome – my daddy knows I am a strong willed girl and regardless of what anyone else says, does, or thinks, I will always do what I want. But again, I really do think the whole thing was adorable. I like that my fiancé respects my father that much.
As far as being close to each other‘s families, I think it’s ideal but definitely not a dealbreaker. My fiancé absolutely ADORES my family. Like seriously, he begs me to go to Iowa to stay a weekend with them all the time 😆 He & my dad are so cute together. He gets along great with my brother and his wife and their children also. My niece actually calls him her boyfriend! 😂 He’s also met my extended family and my aunts and uncles are absolutely in love with him. However, I don’t feel the same way about his family. It’s not that I don’t like them or anything, we just don’t “click”. We are just very very different people who live very different types of lives. We get along fine and everything, we just aren’t super close like my fiancé is with my family. I was insanely close with my ex’s family (and still am to this day). They are literally my second family- I go to visit them frequently and up until getting engaged and moving out of state, I would spend some holidays with them as well. I wish I could trade out my ex’s family with my fiancé‘s family! 😂

I honestly did not care if my FH asked for my parents for permission. My parents aren't that traditional and it wouldn't have bothered them. He asked anyways and I respected him for it. He comes from a very traditional family so it felt like something he needed and wanted to do. I haven't really ever been super close to my parents due to things thay have happened growing up and still continue now as an adult. So I didn't really expect him to have a close relationship with them but they like him at least. I do feel bad for him because I would like for him to have a good relationship with his in laws like I do. I'm lucky that his family is amazing and have accepted me and treated me as one of their own since our first year together. I will say that I'm very lucky that not only do I get an amazing FH but I get to be a part of an amazing family.

I would absolutely care if my SO did not ask my parents. Months before he left for Sweden for his job - he went to my parents house and sat them down and justified why he wanted to marry me and how much respect he has for them raising me, etc. Then when I flew out to Sweden, he proposed; five minutes after I said yes, I asked him if my parents knew and he explained everything and I cried 😊🤍

I would be a little taken aback if he asked my parents for their blessing beforehand. I am a grown woman and make my own decisions. We made the decision to get engaged together and then told our parents in person the next day. They were all very happy for us, which I expected. It is important for both of us that there is a relationship with both of our families. My family loves my husband, and I adore his family. I'm pretty sure they like me, or they are just really good at hiding it all these years lol. I talk to his mom regularly, and I probably text with his sister more than he does.

My fiancé & I discussed marriage when we got back together (1st time we were together 11 yrs, broke up for 6 & have been back together since 2016). I’m 50 & he’s 48 so he really didn’t need to & I certainly wasn’t expecting him to. I thought it was so sweet that he did though!

Btw- I have an amazing relationship with his mom now. It took some time because she wasn’t sure of our relationship. He gets along great with my family. It’s very important to me that we all have a great relationship.

Would you have had any reservations if your SO hadn’t asked your parents for their blessing to marry you? I wouldn't have any issues with it if he didn't ask my parents. In our case, he called my mom and told her he was wanting to propose and if that was okay with her. It was a nice gesture since she lives in another state. Just showed me that he cared what my mom thought about it.

How important to you is a relationship between your SO and your parents? I think it's important for my FH's parents and I to get along. After all, I'm marrying their son and I want them to be able to trust me and accept me! I'm half Filipino, so finding someone who's parents and family accepted that part of me was very important. I dated a guy who's family was VERY conservative and southern, and his grandmother actually brought me to the side and told me she didn't think I could love her grandson like a white girl could. (this was my first 'in my face' experience with racism/prejudice and it was quite shocking to hear that from her) Before that, I never thought my ethnicity would be an issue. After that comment, I knew I had to be with someone who's family didn't belittle me or think less of me because of my cultural background and nationality.

Do you consider your MIL/FIL/BIL/SIL to be your own? In a sense, yes. I come from a large family, but everyone is spread out across the globe, so I never grew up WITH my family. Because of this, I tend to latch onto my SO's family quickly because I love the aspect of having a large family that can see one another whenever and wherever. I consider his family to be like my own because I'm marrying into that family and it's important to me that I consider them to be just as much as my family as they are his! I love how we can all get together and just be ourselves around one another without having to pretend we're something that we aren't.

I will admit that it would have bothered me if my SO did not ask my parents for their blessing, because when it came to my previous marriage my ex-husband did not ask my Dad let alone both of my parents for their blessing, which kind of upset me. He was only worried about if they were going to stand up and object to our marriage. I feel maybe if he would have shown them some respect by asking then he wouldn't have had to worry.
I am very happy that my FH did ask both my Mom & Dad (current step-Dad), as well as my first step-Dad and my brother. I cannot express how much it means to me that he took the time to ask all the people who helped influence and raise me. Let alone my FH told me that he had a small talk with our son (my son from my first marriage) about what if he asked Mommy to marry him to make sure that our son would feel comfortable with it, but yet kept the proposal a surprise for him as well. So he was just as speechless, excited and happy as I was!
The relationship between my parents and him is important, as I do not want him to feel different and as if he isn't family. He gets along better with my Dad, they use to work together, than my Mom, but I understand that.
I absolutely consider my Mom #2 and my BIL to be own, because my FH and I went to high school together and so I grew up knowing his Mom and brother throughout the years. I have always felt really close to his Mom (I've called her Momma through the years) as she and I can talk about him for hours on end and express our difference in opinion about situations in life and how we each thought it should have been handled without conflict.
My FH's Dad passed away when he was 9 years old and his Mom went through 2 battles with breast cancer while still working and not missing 1 day of work because of being a single Mom and having to take care of both her boys. My BIL has autism and is non-verbal, he is in his 20s but has the mentality of a 9 year old. So as my FH has expressed to me, he had to grow up quick and learn how to be "grown enough and the man of the house" in order to take care of not only his brother but also his Mom, because she never dated or remarried. So his Mom and brother mean the absolute world to him and being able to have that close relationship with both of them means everything to me as well!

Would you have had any reservations if your SO hadn’t asked your parents for their blessing to marry you? YES! I believe its respectful and proper ettiquite to ask the parents for one's hand in marriage. Exception us if parent(s) is/are passed away or didnt raise your SO.


How important to you is a relationship between your SO and your parents? NOT SUPER IMPORTANT. I just expect they are cordial and are aquaintances at the very least.
Do you consider your MIL/FIL/BIL/SIL to be your own? HECK NO. I absolutely love my FH's neice (6 yo) and his father. But his mom and brother suffer from severe insecurities and sometimes cause conflict with me.

My fiancé did ask my dad for permission. If he didn’t I’d be a little bummed because I do personally like the tradition and my sisters now husband did it so I wouldn’t want my dad to feel disrespected. At the end of day, he’s marrying me not them so if they didn’t “approve” I’m not sure it really would have mattered. I think a overall good and respectful relationship on all sides is important. While my fiancé and I live in a different state than my parents, I’ll say it’s good. They aren’t close. But they do chat when we visit and send text messages for birthdays and holidays. We live in the same town as his parents so we see them often. My relationship with them is so so, but respectful. We share gifts and laughs but not much more.

My fiance didn't ask my father for permission, because I don't belong to anyone but myself, but he did call my father a few hours before he proposed to sort of give him a heads up..it turned into my father saying of course you have my blessing, but knowing my fiance called with the intent to just let him know made me happy. My father and I are very close, I am the oldest child and the only girl of four kids, so it felt special knowing my dad knew it was coming.

1. Would you have had any reservations if your SO hadn’t asked your parents for their blessing to marry you? My FI did ask my parents (both of them) for their blessing, as we had discussed. I don't know if I would have reservations per se other than he'd have ignored what we had talked about. It was my decision to marry him but I think it shows respect.

2. How important to you is a relationship between your SO and your parents? Very much so; I am an only child and close to my parents.

3. Do you consider your MIL/FIL/BIL/SIL to be your own? For the most part. Obviously we aren't as close as I am with my own parents, but I consider them my family.

NO, because 1: my parents have been against our relationship all the way back to when we were just friends. 2: The only permission he needs is mine. It is important to me that my parents accept my FH and treat him with the same respect they show other family members. However, I am still mending my own relationship with them so it may take awhile. Thankfully they have been supportive and helpful with the wedding, even if their intent is skewed.

Being that I am 37 and he's 38 and we have our own home with our kids I didn't care if he asked my parents for their blessing. Our parents are not very involved in our lives either so I guess it didn't matter.

My fiance did not ask my parents for their blessing which is perfectly fine. I am independent and don't believe that it is the decision of my parents or anyone else who I marry, even though my parents certainly would have said yes. I do wish he had at least *told* my parents ahead of time because they were a little shocked, as was his entire family who he also didn't tell. We all knew it was coming soon but he did propose a little earlier than we all expected! Now it's mostly just a funny thing we look back on.

My husband never asked my parents for their blessing, that's also something not really done in my culture anyway but that's a sweet gesture

Would you have had any reservations if your SO hadn’t asked your parents for their blessing to marry you?

Absolutely not. In fact, I'm really glad he didn't (he was actually nervous to tell me that he didn't ask my dad after he proposed lmao). I have a great relationship with my parents, but I also am a completely independent person. Tradition doesn't mean much to me, and I'm not being given away. I'm entering into this marriage of my own volition not because my parents are okay with it. I love my fiance. We need no one's blessing but our own, though of course I value my parent's opinions and want them to share them with me.

How important to you is a relationship between your SO and your parents?

Ehhhh. Obviously I want them to be on good terms and to like each other. Makes family gatherings, vacations, etc much easier. But if they didn't, my opinion would very much be dependent on why the didn't like each other. My parents and my fiance have very different political beliefs - obviously mine fall in line with my fiance's otherwise I wouldn't be marrying him. So if they get annoyed at each other for political reasons, fine by me. It's a different story if either of them were actually mean/rude to each other. Obviously never happened otherwise I wouldn't be marrying him for that reason either. Political differences aside, everyone very much likes each other which puts my mind and heart at ease!

Do you consider your MIL/FIL/BIL/SIL to be your own?

I wish. My future SIL is like 10 years older than me and has very, very specific likes and dislikes. It's really hard to relate to her, and I have trouble making that "sisterly" connection. (ex: she left our vacation on christmas morning because it was cheaper than flying out the day after; she won't drive a car cause she doesn't want to pollute, she doesn't want to pay for internet so she goes to the library every time she wants to use the computer. She also may not be coming to the wedding cause she doesn't want to encourage flying which pollutes... These are all fine things I guess, just stuff I do not relate to at all). She's also living super far away, so I've only met her in person a few times. That's okay, we're certainly civil, just kinda a bummer as I've always wanted a sister lol.

MIL is a different story. I love her to death! She's just the sweetest lady, and I wish I could shower her in all the gifts she deserves haha. I love visiting her, and it sucks so much that covid has made it so we haven't seen her in a while.

Would you have had any reservations if your SO hadn’t asked your parents for their blessing to marry you?

Not at all. It really didn't bother me one way or the other. I thought it was sweet that he asked. He hadn't met my dad at the time so he asked my mother.

How important to you is a relationship between your SO and your parents?

I love him regardless. As it turns out they love him more than me lol. He's gotten along with literally every single person he's met but even if they didn't like him, that would be their problem. They may or may not have made it difficult but luckily everything worked out.

Do you consider your MIL/FIL/BIL/SIL to be your own?

FH is an only child. As far as his parents, it's a bit of weird situation. I just don't think we have that kind of bond to really feel like I would consider them my own. Even though my family loves FH, I don't think he considers my parents his own either. Totally fine. Sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn't.

My fiancé knew from the beginning the family was a big part of my life and he always agreed that asking my parents was just the respectful thing to do