Did you have an engagement or bridal shower?

What do you mean by bridal party? Bridal party refers to the people you have standing with you on your wedding day (bridesmaids and groomsmen). ETA: someone else usually throws the engagement party. We didn't have one because we live far away from family and it just wasn't logical to try to have one.

Someone else may choose to throw you an engagement party, but it's considered poor etiquette to thrown your own.

And a "bridal party" is the term used for the group of people in your wedding like your bridesmaids and groomsmen. It's not an actual party.

New at this indeed...

I wouldn't throw your own engagement party unless it was a surprise announcement at a gathering. I'm not sure what you mean by a 'bridal party".

I did not have an engagement party. I guess I don't really understand the point and many of our families live hours away.

Bridal Shower is what I meant, sorry ladies!! Thank you MissGeek for correcting me

Okay, so in either case, someone else needs to host these events for you, and only if THEY offer to (aka, don't ask someone to host a shower for you). And they can definitely both happen; the shower is more focused on gifts. Neither one is necessary.

I was asked if I would like to have an engagement party by a friend or would I rather have a bridal shower...I wasn't sure what the difference was between them but it seems that engagement party is to celebrate the actual engagement and the bridal shower is for the bride only?

The bridal shower is to "shower" the bride (and groom) with gifts to start their marriage. An engagement party is literally just to celebrate the engagement. Typically people don't bring gifts, or at least it's not as focused on that.

I had a bridal shower. It was a male and female friendly shower. It was hosted by someone else and a complete surprise!

I think others should be ones to throw you an engagement party and/or a bridal shower. My aunt & uncle threw us a small engagement party with just family. They did give me gifts, although they absolutely didn't have to do so. My bridal party is throwing me a bridal shower, in which I have no clue about the details.

Thank you RingAroundTheRoushes, that makes sense! And was very helpful!

Miranda and Butterfly- Thank you both! A friend, who is also party of the wedding asked if I would want either of them? I know that are normally a surprise, but I assume she just wanted to make sure it would be ok to use the church we are having the wedding at.

We had an engagement party about a month after we got engaged. My parents hosted it at their house, and called it an "I Do BBQ" so kept it casual- backyard cookout style. We just invited friends; that still was over 30 people. We decided to keep it just friends a) so it wasn't so big and b) so that our 2 groups of friends could meet each other (which they hadn't before). It was the perfect opportunity for our friends, some who live out of state and we only see every few months, to celebrate our engagement with us in person. Yes, an engagement party is just to celebrate the engagement itself!

Typically, the engagement party is held soon after you get engaged (otherwise, its kind of pointless!) and the bridal shower is held in the 3 months prior to the wedding (I have attended MANY in my life so far lol and they all have been in that timeline). Be cautious about who you invite to an engagement party-- they will expect to be invited to the wedding, so it would be good to keep it small.

My bridal shower was 2 months before my wedding. Traditionally, bridal showers are a female-only affair. The whole point is to "shower" the bride with gifts to set up her new married life. Anyone invited to your bridal shower must be invited to your wedding also. You can't go wrong, etiquette-wise, inviting all the women invited to your wedding. However, you don't *have* to invite ALL the women who are invited to your wedding to your shower - your cousin's girlfriend who you barely know, for example. Typically the bridesmaids or a family member of the bride or groom (aunt, MIL, godmother, etc.) will throw the shower (you can't/don't throw your own!). They can be a surprise or they don't have to be. I hate surprises and definitely didn't want mine to be a surprise, but I have been to a couple where the bride was surprised.

I was lucky to have many close friend step in and offer to throw a party/ shower for me. I did a bridal shower and a bridesmaid luncheon. Both were hosted at the friends homes. Significant women friends attended the bridal shower along with one MOH. The bridesmaid luncheon was strictly family, aunts, female cousins, the family friends throwing it, my mom, FMIL, both MOH and both BM. I had three out of 4 bridal party members coming in from OOT. If we hadn't had a friend offer to host I would have done the bridesmaid luncheon regardless. I just would have had it catered or taken them out to a restaurant.

My parents hosted an engagement party for us 2 months after we got engaged and it was just to celebrate our engagement not to get gifts. I will still be having a bridal shower.

Thank you annakay511, your answer/advice was awesome! (:

JClovesDM, a luncheon sounds fun!

Our mothers hosted a small engagement dinner for us shortly after we made the announcement. My girls will host a shower for me.

It was great! I gave my BM's their gifts as well as honoring my mother and my now MIL.

Yes I need know when should I plan my bridal shower.