My sister and I are almost 4 years apart. We've always had more of a brother relationship. I'm older and have learned (the hard way) that she isn't my little sister anymore and that she's just as grown as all of us meaning, I shouldn't have to protect her or see her with rose colored glasses. I was with my husband for 6 years before we got engaged. She hasn't had much experience with relationships. She was involved with a guy (who was clearly using her) but bc she's so stubborn and narrow-minded, wasted 3 years of her life with him. They were never committed. My sister has always been the type to be a ANGEL to her friends but treat me (her sister) like crap. She's overly accommodating, gives generous gifts...it's almost calculated as if she's securing a good image and reputation with them. She's nearing 30 and is dating someone. I feel that she's just compromising and settling for whoever now and I have nothing to say.
I've just noticed that the more life changes I go through, the more she passively lashes out. When i got into graduate school she said, "oh. what? you are? Why? Did you research it?" No ounce of happiness or fake happiness. It seemed like a crazy idea that popped in my head but I was thinking then, "wow, she probably wanted to be the only person our family who went to grad school." Probably true (even if it's stupid). When that guy she was involved with officially stopped seeing her, she scapegoated her hurt and said bad things about my husband (back when he was my boyfriend). Because I'm her older sister, I am always careful with what I say but she can someone say any kind of hurtful thing she wants to me? That was one of the first biggest fights we had and I didn't speak to her for almost 3 months. She was bothered by it. Sometimes, I think she wants me & my husband around for her own selfish needs and to combat her loneliness. Out of all her best friends, she's the only single one. They're all married - one has a baby and another has a baby on the way. She lives alone. I showed her our wedding albums recently and she was a bit rough with turning the pages. I nicely told her, "please be careful with the pages". Her response? "Why? did you not get your money's worth?" Rude, right? I feel like she's not really there for me too and she just has to reply because she's my sister. She doesn't care. When it comes to house buying, babies, there's always this opinion bc our decisions seem stupid to her. Anyhoo, I have finally accepted that I can't be close to her anymore. As an older sister, this is sad and a hard pill to swallow. My husband said that she's always had that jealous personality type but tries hard to hide it. I find it hard to be envious of siblings - you should always be happy for them
