I’m 78 years old. I’m the oldest living male in the family. I have one niece that has two daughters. I was at the hospital when my sister delivered my niece, many years ago. When her first daughter was married I was extended an invitation for the lady I have been with for five years. This was an out of state wedding (plane, hotels, dining out etc) and we had a wonderful time. It was overt the top. Seven piece band, several course meals, etc.
Two years latter I receive a save the date in Dec. for a June wedding, for the second daughter, for a wedding that would be local this time. My lady friend has moved out of state but we maintain a long distance relationship… I asked my sister how many people are invited, she’s evasive and says they don’t tell her. … in April I receive an invitation. My son calls to share a room. I say I may bring my lady..He says that both he and I are not getting a plus one. . He calls my sister and in fifteen minutes I receive call from niece. She says “didn’t you read the invitation? It is only addressed to you.”. She says the only plus ones are for married couples also that this wedding is going to be smaller as the grooms parents are in a divorce. There is no discussion, she’s emphatic no plus ones. … at 77 I’m not getting married to go to a wedding.
I'm in a rock and a hard place. My children are going. My sister would have to explain why I wasn’t there. I figured I would go and see. .. Wedding was over the top. Five piece band , five star hotel on the beach. Sixty person shower. One hundred fifty plus guests.
I literally sat in the lobby and cried. My children knew I was devastated and tried to console me. I ruined the wedding for them. …
Two days after the wedding my niece messages me and says that it was obvious that I couldn’t look at her. Too bad I couldn’t handle being without my lady friend, That she didn’t owe me any explanations. That the grooms uncle didn’t get a plus one, ( not Great Uncle) that some of their friends weren’t invited. That I could call her husband to talk about it. That life is short and get over it. ..
I was angry at her message. I laced into her. I wrote back and told her how I deserved respect. That I was there when she was born, that her Father never would have allowed this and more. I asked that she not discuss with my sister, which she immediately did. Obviously I put a cloud on this wedding. This has put a very cold chill on my relationship with my sister. My children say I overreacted. That I should be the one to make amends . I sent a short apology. ( which I now regret). Over a year has gone by and it still eats at me. My nieces husband said to call him and talk about it. They know my number. I feel they should have called me in December when they made the decision. .. I asked my sister why she didn’t stand up for me and that a plus one should never have been a discussion. She couldn’t answer.
If you have a similar situation, think it through. I don’t know if I would have even brought my lady friend, it was the fact I didn’t even get the invite, the disrespect and my feelings were dismissed, and no communication, no explanation as to why one invite an not another. I had to tell my lady that she was not invited..
Thanks for reading..
Sad Great Uncle.
