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Elyse
Beginner June 2021

Devastated and confused

Elyse, on October 28, 2020 at 2:52 PM Posted in Wedding Ceremony 0 26
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So much has been changed in my life over the past 5 weeks. I recently just got diagnosed with MS. I’ve been told with how my attacks are when they happen that i should not work and get on disability. However I’ve heard that while on disability my fiancé can not make a lot of money or i will lose all my benefits. I’m so confused on what to do. I’ve already bought my dress it’s in my closet, the DJ and venue have already been booked, invites with our dates have been bought just waiting to be mailed out.... like I’m sad and hurt and i don’t know what to do 😞 i want to marry my best friend but if I’m unable to work I’ll need my benefits. What do you ladies think? Is there a way to still have a ceremony just not register as being married? Even knowing i can’t say I’m married sucks... Idk this year has just brought me so much pain and stress. I just want to marry my best friend.

26 Comments

Latest activity by Kari, on October 30, 2020 at 3:37 PM
  • Hannah
    Rockstar July 2019
    Hannah ·
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    I am so so sorry. Can you reach out to the National MS society? They may be able to give you more information on benefits and other resources in navigating this diagnosis. Here's the link: https://www.nationalmssociety.org/resources-support
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  • Elyse
    Beginner June 2021
    Elyse ·
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    I have not thought of that but thank you for the link i will definitely look into it.
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  • Yasmine
    Rockstar October 2020
    Yasmine ·
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    Why would your fiance not be allowed to make any money? I've never heard of that before. I know that while on disability YOU can only make a certain amount but I've never heard that about a spouse. I mean if you aren't working he would be the sole provider, I don't see why/how anyone could limit what he makes.

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  • Elyse
    Beginner June 2021
    Elyse ·
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    I was told that if he made over a certain amount that it would stop my benefits if we do get married. It something about i think disability or SSI idk I’m still trying to get all the information but i don’t think it’s right either when I’m the one that is sick not him he’s not getting any of the benefits i am and our kids so with him being the only one working what he makes shouldn’t matter but for some reason I’m being told it does matter.
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  • Yasmine
    Rockstar October 2020
    Yasmine ·
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    Yeah I have never heard that, I've only heard that the person receiving the benefits can't make over a certain amount.

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  • Elyse
    Beginner June 2021
    Elyse ·
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    Well I’m definitely going to do some more digging because i don’t want that stopping me from getting married.
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  • Hannah
    Rockstar July 2019
    Hannah ·
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    It depends on what kind of benefits. If you are getting SSDI, the spouse's income does not impact benefits, but SSI does take spouse's income into account.
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  • Yasmine
    Rockstar October 2020
    Yasmine ·
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    Hopefully it won't impact that because that would be sad. I wish the best for you two!

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  • Allie
    Savvy July 2022
    Allie ·
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    I have no advice on the disability information, but just wanted to drop in and send some healing love your way. My mom and dad both have MS. And my mom lost her battle this April. Please reach out if you have any questions or just would like someone to talk to. 💕
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  • Elyse
    Beginner June 2021
    Elyse ·
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    My condolences to you and your family. And thank you it’s been a very crazy year. If i hadn’t loss my sight in my left eye i wouldn’t have known.
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  • Elizabeth
    Dedicated October 2021
    Elizabeth ·
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    The thing is, when you are married, whatever your spouse makes is considered yours too.

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  • Bethany
    Just Said Yes April 2022
    Bethany ·
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    You can still have a wedding and exchange vows without submitting a marriage license. A “marriage” is the commitment you choose it to be. Maybe health reasons keep you from being legally married, but to you, it shouldn’t mean you aren’t married! Many people choose to stay legally single due to benefits/ insurance, etc. do what’s best for you. Good luck Smiley smile
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  • Elyse
    Beginner June 2021
    Elyse ·
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    Thank you so much. I’m definitely looking into more options for us i don’t want this type of thing ruining our special day.
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  • Allie
    Savvy July 2022
    Allie ·
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    Thank you so much! It’s so crazy how every person with MS has something totally different that is their tell tale. Sending you healing light!
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  • S
    Dedicated March 2021
    Shannon ·
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    Good luck I hope you stay as healthy as possible. I don’t know about disability but you are in my prayers
    • Reply
  • Elyse
    Beginner June 2021
    Elyse ·
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    Thank you so much. I’m still learning about it myself. It’s definitely a huge life changer.
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  • Michelle
    VIP September 2021
    Michelle ·
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    Hello my dear, I'm soo sorry that you have to experience this. I'm not too sure about how to go about this but the very first post seems like a good idea. Sending you lots of love and hugs your way. I pray for your peace and understanding.
    • Reply
  • Kelly
    Devoted March 2021
    Kelly ·
    • Flag
    Yes, you can have your entire wedding and reception.. Just don't sign, or fill out, or turn in a marriage license.. It will still be exactly like you're married and you still get to have all the fun, and the ceremony, and all the love, and everything amazing that you imagined, except just don't turn in the marriage license.. So you will not be legally married..
    I am so incredibly sorry this has happened to you.. I cannot even imagine... However, do what you need to do for yourself, and your future husband!! Just don't listen to other people that are telling you negative things or judging you.. It's terrible that it has to be this way, but it does.. So have your reception, and your ceremony, and everything like you planned, your big beautiful wedding to be.. Just don't sign, or turn in a marriage license..
    Good luck to you, I know everything will work out for the best!! Have an amazing, happy ceremony, and reception, and know in hearts, you are truly married!!And don't forget to not listen to the haters, or the judgmental people that are saying negative things about what you were doing!! You're doing what needs to be done, what is best, for your family, and that is all that matters!!❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
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  • Elyse
    Beginner June 2021
    Elyse ·
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    Thank you hun i appreciate that 💕💕
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  • Elyse
    Beginner June 2021
    Elyse ·
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    Thank you hun 💕💕i really appreciate the kind words
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