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FutureStephD
Super March 2019

Determining who is hosting the wedding?

FutureStephD, on July 5, 2018 at 8:51 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 14
How do you determine who is hosting the wedding? I feel like TRADITIONALLY the brides parents pay and host. But I’m not sure that paying = hosting and given that paying for weddings has changed that might not fit anymore... Isn’t the host the person that makes decisions, greets people, and etc?
Thanks!

14 Comments

Latest activity by Casey, on July 6, 2018 at 12:09 PM
  • Kay
    Super November 2018
    Kay ·
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    I would say whoever is paying is the one hosting. However, I guess today its quite common for parents to help but the couple still pays the bulk, so not too sure in that case.

    In our case my mother is paying for our entire wedding so we had in our invitation that she was the inviter even though she hasn't even seen the invitations or been part of the process at all.

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  • Sarah
    Master June 2016
    Sarah ·
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    Paying is hosting.
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  • DC Wife 10.27.18
    Master October 2018
    DC Wife 10.27.18 ·
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    Whoever is paying the majority is hosting. That why you sometimes see “together with their parents “ which to me means the parents paid some and the B&G paid some.
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  • Katie
    Devoted September 2018
    Katie ·
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    FH and I are paying 90% and planned 100% so we are hosting.
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  • A
    Expert October 2018
    Alison ·
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    I agree with the previous posts, who ever is paying the majority is hosting.
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  • MrsPreach2018
    Master August 2018
    MrsPreach2018 ·
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    We're paying and hosting 100% of our wedding.
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  • plangalCG
    VIP May 2018
    plangalCG ·
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    In the paying is hosting camp. Maybe one exception would be if the event was literally AT someone’s home. I’d somehow work that in there even if they weren’t paying for the rest.
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  • plangalCG
    VIP May 2018
    plangalCG ·
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    All that being said...so long as everyone is on board, it’s up to the couple what it says. Some may want both sets of their parents mentioned anyway.
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  • MrsV1027
    Master October 2018
    MrsV1027 ·
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    It's actually not as common nowadays for the brides parents to host and pay for the whole thing. Most of us are paying on our own. Have you talked to your parents about this?

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  • FutureStephD
    Super March 2019
    FutureStephD ·
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    Thanks everyone! I was just curious what peoples opinion was on it.

    We're covering about 60% of the wedding and making all the decisions. I feel like we should acknowledge parents' contributions but I think we'll do that AT the rehearsal and wedding, and not on the invitations.

    Thanks again and happy Friday!!

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  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
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    What do you need to know the official host for, for the invites? Ours will just say "with their families" above our names, even though my father is paying for 90% of the wedding. But we are making all the decisions for planning.

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  • Victoria
    VIP October 2018
    Victoria ·
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    Our parents are paying just a fraction of what our wedding is costing, but we're still going to acknowledge them on the invites. We have "Together with their parents...". I like the idea of adding them because even though they couldn't give much, they gave what they could even though it wasn't expected and appreciate them so much more for it.
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  • FutureStephD
    Super March 2019
    FutureStephD ·
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    Mostly I'm just a know-it-all and was curious Smiley xd but yes, for invitations too Smiley smile

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  • Casey
    VIP December 2018
    Casey ·
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    Paying is hosting in that those who pay should also get the chance to make decisions, greet people, etc. My parents are paying about 2/3, I am paying about 1/3. FH's parents have also given us some money which has helped a lot. So we went with "Together with their families" on our invitation. My father will most likely welcome everyone and pray for the meal at the reception, and we will probably also see if FH's parents want to speak or anything during the reception.

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