Destination weddings......are they worth it?

Do yourself a favor and put this on hold for a few weeks. Honestly. Just be engaged for a little while and then jump into planning. You'll really thank yourself!

When you're ready to pick it back up again, you're better off contacting travel agencies that work with DWs and the resorts themselves as the first hand information is better than secondhand or even third hand info that could be outdated or mistaken.

Congratulations on your recent engagement! Lily gave you solid advice. I’d add that it’s important to remember that DWs require more $ and time from your guests. Ask your vips (guests who HAVE to be there like parents or siblings) how they feel about it. Adventurous or hesitant about the costs? You should never make anyone feel guilty for not being able to attend your wedding, even if it’s local but with DWs you need to be beyond understanding of those who can’t come.

Congrats on your engagement! My cousin had a destination wedding and she spent about $15,000 on it, which was for 70 people in the DR. There were currency conversion fees she had to pay and upcharge fees for things she thought were included. Besides being expensive for guests, depending where you go, be wary of Zika. If you want to start trying for kids within 6 months of going to a Zika zone I'd advise against it. You might have some guests choose not to go for that reason. Make a list of things you want for your wedding and decide if a DW is for you.

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I’m doing a domestic drivable destination beach wedding. It’s really just vips invited. It’s not saving me that much—the per person is much higher, but there’s less DIY and headache involved. The resort doesn’t hold room blocks...but there are many nearby options.

It depends what you are wanting for your wedding. All inclusive resorts and venues can save you money, but not always. We found that the all inclusive wedding packages offered a limited amount of choices. For example, I had 5 choices for my bouquet. If I wanted something else, they would do it, but it would cost more. If you want more choices, having an all inclusive wedding package might not be best. For us, it was the best option. We chose an all inclusive resort with an all inclusive wedding package. We wanted to keep everything simple and didnt want to add a lot. And we did not want to have to find a bunch of vendors and deal with coordinating every thimg in a location we were not totally familiar with. The only vendor that we had to add on to our wedding package was the photographer. We ended up using the hotels photographer because they were familiar with the location and we loved their photos online.
Make sure you consider these things
-Budget. Include your travel and hotel costs, and any wedding related expenses.
Are you having a rehearsal dinner? We chose not to. We have several people who were only able to be there for a few days. And people who were using this as a couples vacation. We did not want them to feel like they had to give up another night of doing what they wanted just because we had a dinner planned. Anf since it was an allinvlusive resort, we knew they would not have to spend any extra on a meal that night. We just told everyone where we would be and if they wanted to join us, they could. If it wasn't an all inclusive resort, we would have planned a rehearsal dinner.
Honeymoon. Are you having one in addition to the destination Wedding? If so, thunk about a budget for it. We spent 7 nights at the hotel where the wedding was and the 4 somewhere else alone.
Guests who want to stay at another hotel. We have a few people who have time shares and may have stayed at another resort. Our resort charged $100 per person who attended the wedding but didn't stay at the resort. Guests should notnhave to pay that so we added enough to cover 8 people into our budget. We didn't have anyone choose to use their time shares, but wanted to be prepared if they did.
-What will guests need to pay? How much will their flights and hotel/resort stay cost? What are you comfortable asking them to spend? Don't forget about taxes, resort fees, transportation and any other fees when looking at the costs. All of the resorts we looked at did offer group rates. Also, travel costs may be different depending on the time of year you are looking at.
-How much are you willing to do yourself? We did not want the stress of coordinating with several different vendors. We only had to be in contact with our travel agent, resort wedding coordinator and photographer. If you're up for taking on more of the planning and coordinating, that's great. But if not, it may be worth spending a little more to get the extra help.
- travel agent. Do you have one you are working with? We worked with Beach bum Vacations. They were so helpful. They helped eliminate resorts that were over our budget, contacted resorts to get wedding and group room prices and helped the guests book their stay. They do charge a fee, but it was built into the prices of the rooms booked ad they were still lower than what the resorts listed prices were online. A few guests booked on their own, but most used the travel agent. It also saved us from having all of the guests emailing and calling us with a tin of questions about booking their trip. I would 100% suggest looking into a travel agent if you haven't already.
- How much stuff do you want to travel with? We didn't brimg much wedding stuff with us. We had my dress, his clothes and some small bagsnof candy for the favors. We bought moraccas as another favor when we got to the location. I purposely bought a dress that was able to fold and fit into my carry on suitcase because I didn't want to be carrying a huge dress around the airport. Plus, big poofy dresses are not my style. A lot of people have flown with big dresses though. Just make sure you have a plan for how you will get it and anything else you want to bring with you on the plane or checked baggage.

Also, be prepared for surprises in people who attend and who do not attend. Before you make your decision, talk to anyone that you absolutely can not imaging your wedding day with out. Make sure they are willing to travel. We were very fortunate that both our grandparents and several aunts and uncles were able to be ate our wedding. But, we had originally thought that they would not be able to be there and had to be prepared for that. There were also a few people we thought would for sure be there, that were not able to. Plan and budget for everyone you invite to be there. But also be prepared for people to decline the invite.
I hope all that helped a little. We loved our destination wedding.