Destination Wedding then big backyard party at home?

As people have found out about our DW, he has been telling those not invited "our venue in Mexico is small, but we are going to have a party at our house after to celebrate with everyone."  I only heard him talk about it with extended family so I thought ok we can add in the family that lives locally.  He brought up the party again a few days ago.  And it's now sounding like he wants to invite 150 people.  To our backyard!  In March! In the Midwest!  I have already told him that I will not be planning an outdoor party in March.  We will either push it back to summer or rent an indoor space.  But I'm not sure what to do about the guest list.  It's mostly his friends, coworkers and extended family that we did not invite to the DW (I have a few local people that I would invite but most of my family is out of state and we probably wouldn't invite) How would you feel if a friend invited you to the reception but you didn't even get an invite to the destination wedding?  Is it rude?  Does it sound gift grabby? (I'm not expecting any gifts, but don't want it to seem like I am)  Am I just over thinking this and I should go ahead with inviting everyone?  And is June too late to have this party if our wedding is this party?

You'll get a lot of responses on this post and everyone will say it's gift grabby and "B-listing". "You weren't close enough with us to be invited to the wedding, but come to our pseudo-wedding in our backyard".

There was a post a little like this last week and that was the consensus. Just throw a big party, don't call it a wedding reception or anything to do with wedding.

I must have missed the discussion last week. And that's exactly how I was afraid it would come across. Maybe I'll suggest we just throw a "summer kick off" party and invite all those same people.

Mel - having a celebration of marriage after a DW is actually okay.

Its okay to have a small DW and then a bigger party back home - a lot of couples do that.

Whats not okay is "Do Overs" or Pretty princess parties

As long as you are hosting all your guests there shouldn't be an issue.

I don't know. Given that the DW is fairly large at 100 invitees, I think that the people not invited may feel hurt. It comes across as a consolation party for the B listers at that point to me. Also, as PP said, a bit of a gift grab.

I had a DW as well. People encouraged us to have a party back home for those that didn't make the guest list. My argument was that I'd rather spend my entire budget on my actual wedding instead of splitting the budget between the two events. It was more important for me to have a really nice wedding than two sorta nice events.

Every situation is unique and everyone is going to have their own opinion on this one, so this is mine. I had a DW in Shanghai. We invited my entire family and our friends (most of DH family lives in Shanghai), knowing only about 20 guests would attend from the States. This includes my immediately family. We had an additional 50 guests in Shanghai that we invited (mostly family and friends of my DH). We had a total of 70 guests attend our ceremony and reception in Shanghai. Since neither DH or I are Chinese citizens we were unable to legally wed in Shanghai, so when we returned to the States 10 days later we had booked an officiant to marry us in her small chapel with our BM and MOH as witnesses. After we took them to eat.

Originally my mom wanted to plan a second large wedding for her family when we returned. She is the eldest of 7 and my parents are divorced with my dad remarried. The thing is she wanted a party for only her family. We did not want a second large wedding and celebration nor did we want to segregate family. In the end we compromised. She ended up hosting an engagement dinner for us and we celebrated with our entire family (mom and dads side) and our friends.

The deciding factor for us was we didn't want a 2nd large wedding and reception to take away from our dream wedding that we had been planning for 2 years.

(So that there are no assumptions, our guests were aware we couldn't legally marry in Shanghai, but they understood how important it was for us to include my DH family -my new family)

We didn't register and we told guests no gifts for the engagement dinner and wedding.