Destination wedding= skipping the bridal shower?

Your gut is right here. You shouldn't invite anyone to a pre-wedding event if they aren't invited to the wedding.

Agree with Lindsey. Unless, someone at work is throwing you a shower with only co-workers. Then it's acceptable for them not to be invited to the wedding, I'm having a small destination wedding and won't be having a shower or bachelorette party either.

I just had a heated discussion with my mom about this very thing last week! I'm having my wedding out of state and she is throwing a shower for me (very nice of her) but she's trying to invite every single female relative we know, many I haven't seen in years and they are not all on my wedding GL.

I spent an hour going back and forth with her about it--she says family trumps etiquette, I say I don't want to look gift grabby inviting people who are not on the GL and she needs to follow the GL. She threatened to tell everyone why they weren't invited to the shower (that it's my idea--aka my fault). I told her there's no way they'd know about the shower, it's not going on FB, we haven't seen many of these relatives in a long while, unless people say "why wasn't I invited to the shower? ( seriously who does that?) they won't know about it.

Showers are supposed to be smaller more intimate gatherings than the wedding. Ultimately she agreed with me but it took a few days cooling off period.

Tell your mom and FH that they need to follow the wedding GL for the shower.