Destination wedding party plus ones

Why are they staying 5 nights for a wedding an 8 hour drive away?

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We thought it would be a nice option for our bridal party to spend more time together if they'd like and have it be more of a relaxing trip. They don't have to stay all 5 nights if they don't want to or can't get off work that long. But the option is there.

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We thought it would be a nice option for our bridal party to spend more time together if they'd like and have it be more of a relaxing trip. They don't have to stay all 5 nights if they don't want to or can't get off work that long. But the option is there.

I would never expect someone to travel 8 hours alone for my wedding, especially not someone who is in the wedding party.

Are you guys trying to play matchmaker for your bridal party and set them up with each other? That just seems like a looooong time to stay for a wedding. I'd probably want someone to go with me too. An 8 hour car ride and 5 days with a wedding party I may or may not know? If I were single, I would be planning on bringing a friend with me as a plus one.

Hi Madison! That is so exciting for you to have a destination wedding, I personally think they are beautiful and very intimate! To offer advice to your situation, is there any way you could have a pre-wedding get together with everyone(including the plus ones)? That way you can get to know them before the wedding? I would also just let the wedding party know if they all bring plus ones, the bathrooms are limited and they won’t have as much privacy compared to coming without a plus one. Not discouraging them, but making them aware of the situation. Although I do think letting them bring someone could help make it feel more like the vacation vibe I think you’re going for!

Even if I knew everyone in the wedding party, I wouldn’t want to stay in a house with other people for 5 nights (especially some couples) without having someone with me. That’s just a very long time to hang out with people without having someone you can escape the madness with. Unless all these people regularly vacation together, I would have anticipated everyone wanting to bring someone.

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No one is traveling alone as mentioned in my post. Everyone in the bridal party knows each other and is carpooling. When they get there, they will still not be alone as we will all be in the same house.

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Thanks for the input! No, we are not trying to play matchmaker at all. Everyone in the bridal party knows each other and are friends.

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Thanks so much for your input! I do think it's a good idea to let them know that space will be limited if they and their plus one are ok with that. Unfortunately, there isn't going to be an opportunity before the wedding to meet their plus ones. I guess I will just have to get some air mattresses and deal with the bathroom lines haha.

Our best man is single and we are extending him a plus one. It's hard to say what's "random" because at one point we were all random strangers to each other and now we are getting married.

Actually, we've budgeted to allow all of our single friends a guest if they so choose. It doesn't necessarily have to be someone they are romantically involved with but it didn't seem right to exclude them just because they are single.

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Thanks for the input! That's awesome you all are able to extend a plus one to everyone! Unfortunately, our budget and venue space don't allow for us to invite that many people we don't know. We've extended plus ones to anyone who would not otherwise have a travel partner, but unfortunately, that's all we can do.

And of course we are not trying to exclude any of our single friends. It's just a matter of having people we've met before at our wedding vs. people we've never met before.

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I meant more excluding them from having a guest but if you're not comfortable with having people you've never met before at your wedding then I wouldn't offer it if you're not comfortable with it

On the flip side, if I were on the receiving end of a wedding party member’s invitation to a 5-day vacation/wedding in a house full of strangers (to me), I’d pull every excuse in the book to not go. I’d have to have really serious chemistry and interest in someone I’ve only known a few weeks to sign up for that kind of trip. So while these wedding party members might think this will work out, for all you know they won’t be able to convince anyone to join them. 😂 Beach House with my closest friends, yes. Beach house with total strangers, heck no, sounds like a campy horror film.


In case they actually do find new plus ones who agree to tag along... is it possible to book a brunch or lunch for the plus ones? That way you can get them up and out of the house before you’re getting ready for the wedding. Once you all are ready and taking photos, etc, the plus ones can return and finish getting ready. Sorry, not a great solution for the rest of the weekend, but just a thought!

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I thought the exact same thing! If a guy I had only gone on a few dates with asked me to go on a 5-day vacation with people I don't know, I'd be running the other way! Haha. But that's a great idea to arrange a brunch or something for the plus ones! I think I'll suggest that for the wedding morning at least. Thank you so much for the advice!

We gave everyone in our wedding party a plus one regardless if it was an SO or not. It seemed like the right thing to do with all they are doing.

I'd allow the plus ones. I think most would bring a dear friend and not a new dating partner. Weddings and new relationships rarely mix well. Let them have a buddy - it will also give you more helpers if you need them. And will help keep everyone from distracting you with requests or other situations that pop up. I'd do the brunch to get them out before getting ready too. It will all work out. Also, how many people are we talking about?

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Thanks for the reply! The issue isn't so much the plus ones coming to the wedding (I don't mind if they come to the wedding). It's more the space in the house we rented, which everyone was OK with at the time we paid the deposit. Now, as the wedding approaches, we have a couple of singles in our wedding party wanting to bring people they just met. 5 out of the 7 people in our wedding party are single, so if we allow everyone to bring a plus one, that's potentially an additional 5 people we have never met staying in a beach house we are paying for.

I know many on this site would disagree with me, but I'd do everything in my power to avoid having random tinder dates in a beach house with me for 5 days leading up to and during my wedding. That sounds very stressful. This is a very intimate setting/circumstance, and the last thing you will want to worry about is being tight on space with strangers you haven't met before on the day of your wedding! Is there a way to allow your bridal party to bring dates for the wedding itself, but not stay in the house? Or maybe simply explain that the house you booked doesn't accommodate so many people?

I think a 'no randos' policy is fine. It's your wedding, and you can set the guidelines as you like. I don't think it's wrong to say that you can't accommodate plus ones outside of "established" relationships (or whatever term you like).

Having said that, there could be some hurt feelings - and some may even drop out. My cousin got married in Europe a few years back (his wife's family is from Denmark) and they only permitted guests when it was an 'established' relationship. My girlfriend at the time (who is now my fiancé - and we were serious enough at the time of the wedding anyway despite being together for a year) was not invited. But, his wedding, his rules - and my decision to go or not go with my then-gf was mine alone to make.

With the one groomsmen who informed you he would bring a date (presumably any date) - does he have his own room? If the net cost is unchanged despite adding another body, then maybe it's not worth the hassle. On the other hand, if you're covering the cost of the rental house, then your guests can live with it or not.

Going to Tindr to find a date just for the sake of bringing a date to a wedding is lame. It's okay to attend a wedding without a date, after all - one night or even five days in a beach house on you're own, you'll survive.