Destination wedding or close to home ?

Originally we planned a huge wedding in FH's hometown. Due to my dad's health, it is now 25 people in another state all the way across the country. That being said, we chose the location that would be the most convenient for the largest number of guests, one that we could afford, and one that would allow us to host our guests properly.

We were forced to have a destination wedding, because our local area didn't have same-sex marriage at the time. But for those who have a choice, I've never seen the appeal of a destination wedding. It generally results in your having fewer guests, which some people see as an advantage. But instead of them being the ones you most want to have by your side, it's the ones who can afford to get there, to whom you may not be nearly as close. If you're trying to have fewer guests, why not have it close to home and just invite fewer people? Otherwise, why not have the wedding at home, and then go to the exotic location for your honeymoon?

We originally had planned a wedding a few miles from home. We decided it wasn't for us. It was becoming pretty overwhelming so we changed to getting married on the beach in Florida. To me, it's a lot less stressful! We will be having a reception when we get home for some of our closer family members and friends.

We originally planned to do a super small wedding for just immediate family and our closest friends near our home in Rochester. However, our parents threw a fit (even though they aren't paying) so we're having the destination wedding as a compromise. We made sure it was feasible for our nearest and dearest before we set things in motion. Our guest list is larger but we can still swing it and host our guests appropriately.

For us, it was an easy choice. We r getting married at our church and our pastor is officiating.

We opted for a DW because it was actually the easier and cheaper route. Our families live all over the country, so travel would be required for most no matter what. We chose our location because that's where we got engaged and it was meaningful to us. It also meant a reduced guest list, which was preferable (close family and adults only). Of the 100 we invited, 50 are attending and they are all our "must have" people. It's going to be a wonderful intimate event.

For us it was an easy choice of a destination wedding… We never understood the appeal of 300 guests where half of them we didn't know coming to celebrate our big day… We love to travel so it made sense for us to have it somewhere in the Caribbean… We're having about 40 to 50 guests of our closest family and friends and for us that's what means the most!

Thanks for your input. I really love traveling and Italy has our heart but we want everyone to make it, however, we aren't even sure if we have it in town that they absolutely will make it so I'm leaning toward destination. I love that you all are so decisive and caring and it warms my heart knowing you have the time to help overs with your input I thank you and good luck with your beautiful futures

Our VIPs are in 4 countries on 2 continents - we picked a DW location that would be most convenient (and likely cheapest) for the greatest number of people - ourselves included. Neither of our families and not many of the guests live in our current hometown (which is also really, really, expensive for not much), so it was an easy decision.

ETA: Be careful with legal requirements for European DWs. They tend to be a little more complicated than the various Caribbean options. We're getting married in London, and the logistics are...trying, even with everything being in English.

We chose a DW because it worked for us. I don't live near my family and we thought it would be great have it in Vegas. 125/140 accepted. We have less that a month left. This route wasn't cheaper but it's in a place that we like and a fun atmosphere for our guests.

We chose local, because I wanted VIPs there, and I know my grandmother wouldn't fly, and wouldn't have the financial means to do so. She's the only grandparent I have left, and it's important that she be there. I also thought about the financial stress it would put on some other families I wanted to be there.

Another reason is I like to be in control, and it would drive me crazy to plan a wedding from afar, and be stuck with vendors that I'm forced to use due to the venue.

We chose a DW wedding for different reasons, one was that I realized I could spend the same amount of money on wedding with a 10-day vacation as I could on a one day traditional at home wedding. All of my friends and family had to travel anyways, so I asked if they would be okay with having a wedding in Cancun vs South Carolina and they all said yes. What I do feel bad about is that my FH did not ask any of his friends before making the decision, so he does not have any friends coming which racks me with guilt all of the time. Also, we invited the same people we would have invited to a local family. I knew most of my extended family wouldn't come and that was okay, but I was really hoping that some more of my friends would be able to make it, so it was a bummer when a lot couldn't. Granted there is no guarantee that they would have been able to come the wedding planned in the states. The wedding planning itself was less stressful and I think even though I will only have 16 guests, that it will be more beautiful and elegant than the wedding I could have had locally. It really is a give and take, when I was researching I couldn't find a lot of negatives about having a DW, but I have found some just about my wedding not feeling really as special if I had had one more locally. And I feel guilty asking people to spend the money to go, even though I tried to keep the costs similar to what they would have spent coming to my local wedding. My advice before committing to a DW is to really talk to your VIPs about it and discuss budget and whatnot. Also, make sure your FH is really onboard. It has to be the right decision for the both of you. Then, adjust your expectations of the amount of guests you may have. You may be lucky and have a lot of friends and family who love to travel and have the funds to come and be a DW that has 50 guests, whereas I was not as lucky which bums me out at times.

Sorry for the long rambling post.

If I was a local guest I would most likely prefer if you had a local wedding. If I was a guest traveling I would prefer whatever was the least expensive option.

We decided to have our wedding in our hometown so our guests did not have to travel to attend our wedding. 99% of guests live there. Keep in mind that some people will not attend if they have to travel.

We had a destination wedding. It was a place that had significant meaning to us. We could have gotten married 100 different places that were prettier or less expensive, but we gave in to sentiment. To complicate matters, the time of year probably wasn't convenient either (one week before Christmas). All that said, I don't think we had a lot less people than we would have if we'd had the wedding locally or at a different time of year (maybe only a handful more would have come locally). We invited everyone we would have invited to a local wedding and the vast majority came.

The first thing you do if you want to have a DW is call your VIPs (for most people, it's parents, grandparents, and siblings) and make sure they can make it. Unless you're okay with getting married without them there, you need to take their feelings into consideration.

We are doing a destination-ish wedding. it is at a resort about an hour or so from my hometown. i am from the midwest and my fiance is from the east coast, and we recently moved to a new city for work where we don't know anyone. pretty much everyone would have to travel no matter where we held the wedding, so we chose to do it near my hometown, but in a spot that is prettier and more romantic than any of the venues in my hometown. our reasoning was that if most people have to travel, it should be to a spot that is worth making the effort!

We decided on a DW for a few reasons. I don't really have much family left, just my sister's and an aunt and cousins we don't talk to. FHs family is huge and his sister just got married last year so they had the giant wedding already. We do a family vacation every year with his immediate family and then another with mine. I also travel a lot and do mini vacations through out the year with my friends.

FH and I like to travel a lot, so we asked our VIPs how they'd feel about a DW and receive loved the idea. You really need to know your crowd if you go the DW route.

We chose semi-DW (about 3 hours from us and our families). Honestly, I am excited about it being a getaway and an "adventure" for us and many people. It will be in the mountains in the middle of nowhere kinda but honestly, I think it would be a TON easier to do it in a city. If I could do it over I would for sure do it somewhere close to stuff! The nearest town has a population of 70 and has no restaurants or vendors. It's been annoying to say the least. Plus, our vendors all have travel fees which has really increased our budget. I realize this is a different type of DW versus flying to a resort on an island or something.

We were originally planning a wedding close to home. We had a guest list of 250 and we're trying to make it fit the vision we had and the budget we were comfortable with. After seeing about 10 different venues and spending 2 months trying to make it work with our budget, I was so overwhelmed and frustrated. I was stressed and ended up on tears a couple times . My fiance had originally suggested a DW in Cabo but I had wanted to have the big wedding. After getting so stressed, we decided that neither of us wanted that big of a wedding. We found a resort that includes everything for the wedding in our budget. We don't have to find and coordinate any extra vendors. And we cut the list down to about a third. We don't want the stress and that was our main deciding factor.

My family was hoping for us to have a DW and they were super disappointed that we didn't. For us, the determining factor was that we would have to pay to fly every member of his family out and put them up in hotels. That would've been so expensive. So price was #1. Another smaller factor was that I tend to get sick when I travel and don't enjoy flying.

Yes! Such a hard decision! FH has been all for destination but it was hard for me to commit to the idea. I've been to two destination weddings and have had the absolute best times of my life and have amazing life time memories from them..that being said I was never the bride at these weddings, lol. I didn't know (still not sure) how the experience will be for me now that it's my wedding. I also had a hard time accepting the fact that many people won't be able to come. Ultimately I'm really looking forward to a week long vacation with some of our closest family and friends, getting married on beautiful beach, and if we're being completely honest, saving some money as well. I still get nervous/anxious about it but I think that's pretty normal. Overall I'm really excited for it!