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Expert October 2020

Destination wedding gift etiquette?

Futuremrsm, on January 13, 2020 at 9:08 AM Posted in Community Conversations 0 6

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So we were invited to a destination wedding in california next month. We just had to book our flight which was about $700 for the both of us, we have a rent a car for 4 days and my FH is a groomsmen and has to buy a suit as well. Since we are paying for the travel and other costs, do we still bring a gift for the wedding? If we do a gift we are basically shelling out $1000 just for someone else's wedding when we also have to pay for ours in october. if we should bring a gift, it's whatever but I was just wondering what proper etiquette is so we arent rude.

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6 Comments

Latest activity by Kasyah, on January 22, 2020 at 8:32 PM

Master January 2015
null · on January 13, 2020 at 9:13 AM
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Gifts are always optional, but personally I would still buy a gift/card with money. Nothing outrageous, but still a little something.
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Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on January 13, 2020 at 9:13 AM
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Gifts aren't a necessity at weddings, but I wouldn't show up to one empty handed. If it's not in your budget, I would at least give a nice card.
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Legend July 2019
MrsD · on January 13, 2020 at 10:43 AM
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I'd feel super weird going to a wedding without a gift. We've flown to NY (flights were $1,000 for both of us) then hotel was another $500 for two nights then rental car was another $300. We got them a gift, it was $30, but still a gift. We've flown to weddings in CA & TX too, still brought gifts. I just couldn't handle going to a wedding and not bringing a gift. If it's not in budget, I'd at least bring a very nice card & write something in it.
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Legend March 2017
Pirate & 60s Bride · on January 13, 2020 at 10:48 AM
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Nope! For a DW (and because your FH is a groomsman), a nice card with a personal note is fine.

For our DW, we told guests “their presence is our gift” because we knew a DW costs more to attend.
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Dedicated September 2021
Liza · on January 13, 2020 at 12:52 PM
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I do not think a gift is necessary since your FH is in the wedding, but a card would be nice. I have made it clear to everyone in my wedding party that I do not want gifts from them. Them being in the wedding is already the gift. It can be expensive being in a wedding even when it is local.
For a destination wedding where neither of you are in the wedding, I would say a gift is expected but that the gift could be smaller or less money since you are already putting a lot into going to the wedding. I think a bride or groom would understand that.
So this really has more to due with your FH being in the wedding than the fact that travel is expensive, in my opinion!
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Devoted July 2020
Kasyah · on January 22, 2020 at 8:32 PM
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I think it's common courtesy to give a gift if you are going to a wedding. Whether you or FH are in it or not. I am having a DW and yes, it does cost money for guests to come but it also cost (at least for us bc we paid for ours ourself with no help) quite a bit to have a wedding as well as the couple themselves paying to get there. Idk about this couple but we are shelling out additional money just to give gifts to our bridal party. IMO even something small is better than nothing at all.
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