Destination wedding & family troubles

Have a close to home reception, tell her you look forward to seeing anyone who can't make it to the DW at the reception, and don't bring up her wedding at all. She's not going to get less hostile if you make it about her.

Remind your sister that, while you have chosen a destination wedding, you are not forcing anyone to go. I assume that you know it may not be possible for some guests to attend, and I also assume that you are ok with that, that they will be missed, but you'd never do anything like make them feel guilty for not being able to afford a Caribbean vacation.

Well...she's not wrong. You just have to own the decision to prioritize location over guests. There's no way to slice it that doesn't mean costing everyone time off from work and money.

My sister was the one who had suggested we look into the Caribbean in the first place. And we do plan on having a reception when we get back. Not a real wedding reception, but something where our extended family can get together.

My mom was very unsupportive in the beginning and arguing about my venue. I stopped talking to her. Period. Then she started calling and her tune changed. Now we have positive conversations

@StPaulGal hit it on the head. Your sister is not necessarily wrong. Yes, it is your day, but you are prioritizing your location/vision over your family being there, which you're perfectly entitled to do. But own it. Don't pretend that's not what's going on or that you get to decide where to get married and everyone else just better like it. It doesn't work that way. On this forum, the majority of us always say that the way to have a destination wedding is to call up your VIPs (immediate family, for instance) and make sure they can be there before you plan or book anything. If they can't, then you have to make the decision about whether or not your vision is more important than their attendance. The answer might be yes for you. But if that's the case, you need to tell your sister that you get be selfish here and accept it that she may not be able to be there and may be upset with you for a while.

Personally, I could never get married some place my sister would find it difficult to be.