Destination wedding etiquette

If it were me, I wouldn't pay for the groceries after already paying for their Airbnb. If I was a guest, I wouldn't expect the host to pay for my groceries if I'm staying there for free. The same goes for my friend group, we communicate well and know how to divvy up cost and responsibilities on trips.

I would first talk to your future spouse and see what they think! You both know your guests the best, and how they'll react to whatever decision you make.

Another thing to think about is if you're having a reception. If you are, then I think it's more than fair to let your guests pay for their own groceries and food before the wedding. If you aren't, then I think you could at least offer to pay for one night's dinner/groceries for them?

You can definitely have them pay for food/groceries. For my cousin's bachelorette, we rented an airbnb, and the girls all pitched in for the groceries. We grabbed what we wanted, and then gave a portion to her MOH who loved cooking. So, she was able to cook for us for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. We ordered take out for one of the nights, and went out for lunch one of the days (this was before COVID of course lol).

Just make sure your guests are respectable and do not take someone else's food! This happened on a huge girl's trip a few years ago, and one of the girls just helped herself to everyone's snacks and food because she didn't want to spend on her own groceries.. She was just a problem at the end of the trip lol.

Can you expand on what the logistics are like? How many kitchens are there? Is each couple/family expected to cook all of their own meals? Are there restaurants in the area? I think ultimately the answer to your question is that everyone can be responsible for their own groceries, but I'm having a hard time imagining getting ready to go to a destination wedding with shoprite bags in the backseat 😂

First, are you sure that you can have a wedding there? Airbnb has had them suspended for quite a while.

In this case, yes you need to pay for all groceries. As the host, you provide everything. Guests are guests 100%.

How many guests, OP? I think the hardest part of this, honestly, would be the logistical part. Is this house in an area with lots of takeout or restaurant options? Probably what I would do is buy a bunch of easy, grab and go type breakfast items like a few bottles of juice, muffins, bagels + fixins and hearty fruit. I wouldn't charge my guests for these items, and let them know to help themselves. I'd probably order an affordable dinner for the first night (like pizzas or Chinese) and let everyone know the rest of the meals were on them—which shouldn't be too many if it's a three-night trip and one night is the wedding? I actually would host an official rehearsal dinner too, so it would just be lunches everyone had to figure out on their own. Depending on how many people there are, some may want to go in on a take out, some might want to go out to a nice meal or some may offer to grill out for everyone. But I definitely would not purchase groceries for everyone for the weekend and ask to be reimbursed in any way.

Hmm that's a tough one. I've been in this situation once before as a guest and all of my food was paid for. My best friend had a destination microwedding and rented a large lake house for the weekend (3 days, 2 nights) for the guests to stay at. They did pizza, salads, and beer the first night, and the second night was the wedding. For breakfast they bought things similar to what PP suggested like orange juice, coffee, fruit, muffins, etc. and for lunch they bought bread, coldcuts, and various toppings to make sandwiches. And they had snacks, wine, and beer on hand as well. They didn't ask anyone to pitch in

Honestly yes you will need to arrange for all meals for the guests. While it is awesome that you are covering the cost of the air bnb that leads people to assume you are hosting them for the entire stay and that means covering all meals. It may very well be that some of your guests will insist on chipping in and I don’t see any issue not accepting if they offer to help cover some of the expense. But since you are inviting and having stay in the same location, you need to handle and arrange all meals as well.