Destination wedding etiquette and advice

We are having a destination wedding and we both hate being the center of attention. Our guest list maxes at 30 people. We are expecting maybe 20. My fiance didn't even want his siblings there. He does have 6 siblings (blood, step and half) and all which would need a plus one or more for children. After seeing the costs, he decided to nix siblings! I didnt really agree but hey, there is a reason he may not want them there, whether for money or for other reasons. He called each sibling and explained to them why they weren't invited. Nobody was mad and many have mentioned that it isn't a bad idea to just go off with a few people and get married.


At the end of the day, everyone from our circle is super understanding and excited. Maybe just explain the situation and pray that these people just are excited that you found the one!

There are rules of ettiquette but I feel many do things different. I know my opinion is not the popular one but I feel like you can still invite those that are not coming to the wedding. Remember half of these events were non-existent or very rare years ago when a couple wed. I know sometimes people want to be involved to some extent even if not coming to the wedding. Etiquette does dictate that only those attending the wedding are invited to the shower. I say invite who you want but it can come off offensive to invite them to a shower to provide a gift but not the wedding. I would say maybe just do a bridal brunch where gifts are not expected or required. The bachelorette to me is a bit more informal so just invite close people to that. Of course some people will be offended being excluded but it is what YOU TWO want. Steve Harvey made a great video about cutting down guest lists. If you really want to do something for extended family maybe just have an informal party after the fact where they can come to celebrate the marriage. See what others say but I feel you should do what you want even if a bit against etiquette.

We are having a destination wedding with about 65 guests. We are only inviting immediate family (parents, grandparents, siblings, aunts/uncles) and no children aside from our own siblings. I’ll be having a bridal shower and Bach thrown my by mom/aunt and maid of honor. Otherwise we intend to separately celebrate with extended family if they wish and if they reach out to us about concerns or anything. We are not huge fans of being the center of attention which is why we chose a small destination wedding opposed to a 300 local wedding

I think it’s fine to not invite extended family to your wedding, but if you’re already concerned that they might be upset they aren’t invited to the wedding, imagine how they’ll feel when you say “I don’t want you at my wedding but come to my shower and buy me a present”. In my circle that’s a huge no-no, and I would guess if your family would already be upset about not being invited, this would make it way worse.

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God bless anyone having a wedding with 300 people. I could not imagine coordinating that lol. Great for still having all the events as you should.

Nobody is entitled to a wedding invite. If you don't want to invite someone, that's totally fine. Sure the extended family might be upset, but if you don't see them or have much of a relationship with them, you don't have to invite them! You're going to wear yourself out trying to make every single person happy

Oh, and just wanted to say your wedding is NOT a family reunion. It's one of my biggest wedding pet peeves when people try to make weddings a family reunion. If they want one, they can host one themselves!

Rant over

Totally fine not invited extended family--destination weddings are usually smaller, and it's hard to get a huge group of people to be cool with shelling out the money/time to travel.

That being said, you don't host your own bridal shower. If someone throws one for you, please don't invite people who aren't invited to the wedding. As PP said: you're literally saying "I don't want you at the ceremony or the reception, but I want you to give me a gift." The purpose of bridal showers is to "shower" the bride with gifts.

We're having a destination wedding and we have an A and B list. A list gets invites first (they're the people we want there the most) and our B list is also people we want there, but will only be invited when someone RSVPs "no" from the A list. This keeps numbers down. We will also be having a big get together with everyone invited when we get back. And for the other events? Invite who ever you want. This is your guys' big day and celebration. Don't feel obligated to invite anyone you don't want there. And for people who may attend something like the bridal party, but not the wedding, don't worry. They'll understand if you explain that you just want something really small for the wedding, but can't wait to see them at the after party.

All pre-wedding parties should be limited to only those people who are invited to the actual wedding.

We're having a destination wedding in Jamaica and only invited immediate family and close friends. The total invited were close to 50 but maybe 20 will show. We are having a stateside celebration in Sacramento for extended family and more distant friends.

I'm totally stealing this advice thread. We are planning a destination wedding, as I don't want a huge affair. My brother did the whole big fancy church wedding with second cousins, and that suited him. We want a beach wedding and my entire goal is to not have to wear shoes. We would love to have my aunts/uncle's/cousins/etc... But understand we aren't making it easy.


Is a very informal party when we get home, like firehouse hall informal, considered bad form?

We are having a destination wedding in Orlando with 49 people including us and the wedding party. I am not having a bridal shower at all and asked my bridesmaids to help us out for the informal party back home. We are going to pitch a couple tents in our backyard and throw a Halloween themed reception at home for extended family and friends we weren't able to invite to the actual wedding. I'm looking at around 150-200 rotating people throughout the day for that one. Just have to stop my fiance from inviting everyone hes ever met to it!