Destination Wedding and Bridal Shower Etiquette

Since a shower is a gift-giving event, you don't invite anyone who isn't invited to the wedding. However - you could do an engagement party, a bridal tea, or some other kind of (no gift) event to celebrate with those not invited to the wedding.

I agree with PP. Bridal showers are gift giving events so it's not appropriate to invite people who won't be invited to the wedding. But a different non-gift-giving type of event would work!

Given the circumstances, I think it would be fine to do a pre-wedding event if your friends are genuinely on board and won't feel left out (from the wedding), but I would perhaps reconsider the event you choose because a bridal shower is intended to shower the bride, and even if you insist no gifts, the nature of the event itself implies gifts. Why don't you do a bachelorette or a bridal luncheon?

I myself recently decided to downsize my wedding from 150 to 45 (due to COVID) but we had already booked the bachelorette and most of the girls who would be attending the bachelorette won't be invited to the wedding (it will be just family and a handful of friends) so I made a point of contacting them and explaining the circumstances and asked if they wanted me to cancel the bachelorette or go ahead and literally everyone said how excited they were for the bachelorette and so solely because of that we made the collective decision to go ahead with the bachelorette, even though 80% of the girls won't be at the wedding.

*typically* no, you shouldn’t invite anyone who isn’t invited to the wedding. Maybe just tell one of your friends that you’d love to find a way to celebrate with them - if they want to throw a little something for you on their own they can do that.

Considering the situation, I think its totally fine to have a bridal event with loved ones not included in your intimate destination wedding. However, it should be something other than a bridal shower, as a shower is literally a gift giving event and it is inappropriate to ask for wedding gifts from people who are not invited to your wedding. Doing a bachelorette, engagement party, bridal brunch, or even a mini-reception after the wedding are all acceptable options.

View Quoted Comment Thank you all for the feedback. I think I will do it but call it a Bridal Brunch

View Quoted Comment Did you receive any gifts or gift cards as gifts. We already bought designer, purses, and earbuds and all kinds of fun stuff for gifts. We have games. It’s more like a get together. Maybe we can have like a honeymoon fund how did you make out in the end? Really you just wanna have a fun day with people your feedback please