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Master June 2017

Destination Wedding.... Adults Only?

Mrs, on October 4, 2016 at 7:18 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 15

I've recently been pondering the thought of making this an adult only wedding. My only reservation with doing this is that most (read: 95%) of my guests will be traveling from out of state. What are they supposed to do with their kids if they can't come? Should I be providing child care? It'd be easily 30 children at least... I also feel like this would offend a lot of people. What are your thoughts?

15 Comments

Latest activity by Dee, on August 23, 2022 at 11:09 AM
  • MrsMelissaP
    VIP January 2017
    MrsMelissaP ·
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    I think your spot on with your concerns. I don't have kids but if I did I probably wouldn't go or maybe the grandparents would take the kids. But I think a lot of people won't go. Where is it destination?

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  • BeachDreams
    Master May 2017
    BeachDreams ·
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    For an adult only DW I would plan for many declines or provide child care. If they do not bring their children, they will need to find child care for likely at least four days, which is a LONG time. Also, if they bring thing what will they do with them during the wedding?

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  • A. L.
    Master July 2017
    A. L. ·
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    The RSVP rate for DW is really small. Telling people they can't bring their children would make it much smaller.

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  • M
    Master June 2017
    Mrs ·
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    Thanks guys, the wedding is in Nashville - the majority of these kids and their families will be traveling from Wisconsin. They already have full intentions to travel here (they've made the trip a few times in the last few years and have been waiting for an excuse to come back). I do agree that having to figure out what to do with the kids would be a logistical nightmare. Either a few families hang back in WI to watch the kids (TOTALLY okay with this tbh) or they have to worry about it while they're here. I think I just have to suck it up and invite everyone.

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  • BeachDreams
    Master May 2017
    BeachDreams ·
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    Do you mean have some family members stay to watch all of the children, or just not invite families with children?

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  • A Bride
    Super August 2016
    A Bride ·
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    What are the ages of the kids?

    I would try to provide childcare at least if they aren't invited to the wedding. It's a lot of work and time and money to travel for a wedding. Also, have you inquired about the prices of children's meals? Because 30 $10 kids meals is probably cheaper than childcare for 30 kids.

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  • M
    Master June 2017
    Mrs ·
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    @BeachDreams I mean a few of the families would probably end up declining RSVPs and watch all the kids. They often have megasleepovers at one aunt's house while all their parents go out and do whatever.

    @A Bride, I think you're right. I haven't asked about children's meal pricing yet! The kids range from toddlers to pre-teens.

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  • BeachDreams
    Master May 2017
    BeachDreams ·
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    If they already planned to decline and are okay with watching the children, I think that is an okay option. But what if the had planned on attending? I think it would be odd to ask some families to stay behind in order to babysit and allow other couples to attend.

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  • M
    Master June 2017
    Mrs ·
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    @BeachDreams I agree. I don't want to assume certain people aren't planning on coming. At this point everyone wants to come of course, but that could all change in the next 8 months. Who knows, they may already have a plan in place! I haven't even sent STDs out yet and they're already talking about their plans to rent a bus to haul everyone down here...LOL

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  • P
    Beginner October 2016
    Private User ·
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    I had to include 10 kids if not my guest wouldnt go because we are not from here and it is a destination wedding

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  • Elizabeth
    Master December 2016
    Elizabeth ·
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    So these kids are family? Invite them. I think that when you have a DW, this is one of the concessions you should make, especially for family. They travel with their parents to Nashville and while mom and dad go to your wedding (someone I assume they look up to and love), they have to stay with a total stranger OR they stay in WI while mom and dad get to travel to Nashville to attend your wedding. It would be different if it was friends and their kids who don't know you and who you don't know, but if it's your own family and it's a DW for them, I would invite them.

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  • MsCle
    Super March 2017
    MsCle ·
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    I'm having a destination wedding and there are no children attending. My sister had a destination also, and everyone left their children with a family member/friend. 78/100 invitees attended.

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  • MAMW
    VIP August 2013
    MAMW ·
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    If the kids are family I would invite them so that your family can attend. If my husband and I had to go to a destination wedding for 2-3 nights, the only person right now that I'd feel comfortable having them stay over night with that long would be my parents. If they're going to the wedding then I don't have a babysitter, so I wouldn't be able to go. I had a child free wedding so I don't hold that against the couple, it's just what it is.

    You may also find that depending on the age of the children, people might not be comfortable leaving them with the babysitter you provide.

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  • Pszab
    Super May 2017
    Pszab ·
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    Maybe provide child care at the resort?

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  • D
    Dee ·
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    FOR ANYONE THAT NEEDS TO SEE THIS...Yes, this is fine for local weddings, not ones where the parents would need to leave their children and take flights. Children need to be included for destinations. It too much to ask someone to leave especially small children with someone for days or have a sitter in a third world country etc. STOP IT. IT IS WRONG. YOU KNOW IT IS.

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