Destination Catholic Wedding Stress

More info, please. Why Mexico? Is your FH from there? Are you parents contributing to the wedding financially? If the venue doesn't allow your preferred decor, why did you choose it?

Mexico and the venue was fiancé's choice. Not from there but has timeshare there. Parents will be partially contributing financially.

I believe as a Catholic you have to be confirmed before being married. "Catholics who have not yet received the sacrament of confirmation are to receive it before being admitted to marriage, if this can be done without grave inconvenience. (CIC 1065)" Just FYI

Good luck with your planning, everything will work out

Yup, LouisianaLady, I've looked into adult confirmation classes already. Thanks! I even had to track down my baptismal certificate in NY (currently living in CA)!

I completed confirmation classes in 6 months it can be done

Best of luck!

If the parents contribute financially, then they get a say. Sure, some parents give money with no strings attached, but some don't. Their financial contributions make them hosts of your wedding, and if you're not OK with that, you'll have to reconsider their contributions. As far as your FH is concerned, you need to reach mutually agreeable decisions -- now and throughout the course of your marriage.

You need to decide what really matters to you --what's your priority? Then decide how to accomplish that which matters the most and either handle your current situation with grace and try to be thankful for the help you're receiving, or put your foot down and stop this train before it runs away.

Good luck with the destination Catholic wedding. My friend was living in Dallas but getting married in Houston and they had some issues completing their classes because their priest in Dallas and the priest in Houston didn't get along.

If you never did and still don't want a DW, talk with FH. Neither the bride or the groom should get to dictate where the wedding will be held. That's a joint decision. Does FH unilaterally make other decisions that affect your life? If so, think about whether you can handle that for the next 50 years or so.

I do agree that if parents pay, they get a say. But religious beliefs and values are very different from menu options and color choices. If you personally do not feel comfortable with a ceremony in a catholic church, I think it is okay to draw a line there. Although, I do realize that I have assumed that your desire to not have a catholic ceremony stems of personal beliefs as opposed to convenience. If that is the case, I would express that to your mother. Ideally, she can respect your beliefs and convictions. But, if it continues to be an issue I would strongly consider politely declining their financial contributions.

@going - oh no, not at all! He rarely makes unilateral decisions; if anything, I actively encourage him to be more decisive. He's shy suggesting a place for dinner sometimes, so when he said enthusiastically where he wanted to get married, I just kinda took it and ran with it. I love to travel and loved the idea of a DM, but I only preferred a local wedding for the convenience of our guests and with planning.

@Maui and @Beach, I don't mind having a church wedding to please our parents per say, even if it wouldn't be my first choice - I just feel bad that I'm not a true practicing Catholic! Like I said, I'm not even confirmed and probably never would be if I hadn't gotten engaged. I believe in the values to an extent, and respect the role religion plays in other people's lives, but don't consider myself especially spiritual. So in a weird way, I respect the Church too much to just " go through the motions" of getting confirmed just to get married when I'm not 100% devout. Does that make sense?

While not impossible I see this being difficult but I do know of planner who might point you in the right direction depending on your location. Where in Mexico?

Um I'm getting married in a Catholic Church and I'm Lutheran. They are not making me convert to Catholic

FH is Catholic and was set on having a Catholic wedding. It is semi-DW for us but still in the US. Like you, I love party planning but have been able to plan the reception pretty much how I wanted...is this a possibilty for you? This seemed to be a good compromise for FH and me and we are both happy and getting what we want.

Um totally disagree that just because the parents are paying, they get to have a say in this matter. A traditional, catholic wedding will be COMPLETELY different from a general, nondemoninational wedding. OP I think this is a case where you need to put your foot down if you and FH do not agree.

H and I were both raised catholic in mexican families (aka REALLY CATHOLIC lol), but we are not religious in our adult lives. We got a lot of flack from our families about not having a church wedding, but it wouldn't have represnted us as a couple at all and would sort of be disrespectful to the church IMO. I could never imagine feeling uncomfortable in my own wedding ceremony, and that is why we had to stand our ground.

Sure if mom wants pink garden roses instead of peach peonies, sure, that's a place to compromise. But not on your religious beliefs and the entire tone of your whole ceremony. But what do I know...

Did you have your civil and catholic wedding requirementa both done at the destination or did you do the civil wedding at home beforehand??

View Quoted Comment We ended up doing our civil ceremony at home beforehand only because we couldn’t get enough witnesses early enough

View Quoted Comment You dont have to be confirmed. It just changes how the mass is done.