Dessert Table Frustrations...just another vent

She has not contributed to this wedding at all. Why do I have to reconsider something I already said a dozen times I do not want. I hate sounding like this because it makes me sound like a bridezilla, and I am trying to be reasonable but I just don’t see how having an entire meal with of desserts people will be too full to eat is needed. I stopped talking wedding stuff with her, “Oh this beet salad is delicious, what is in it?” I used to have some really good wine I would drink at night to relax, but I am doing this low carb diet for the moment so I have a low carb wine which just doesn’t do it for me. But I will finish the damn box because I paid for it. Plus I work with a bunch of alpha male guys who are not the best to vent to so right now this forum is the best thing I have to let it out before talking to FH so I don’t go overboard and can try and keep calm while talking to him about this for the 13th time.

Also, sorry for the second post of the day. I wanted my post today to be all positive, but for some reason this conversation with him just sent me into a frustrated spiral.

Hey there. If he desperately wants a cake just get a small one with two tiers or something. Maybe that's a fair compromise. Because most peipl don't eat cake. I definitely don't

If he has said its not something he cares about, just something she does -- then you two need to make your final decision together and next time she brings it up tell her it's already been decided. End of story. She'll get over it. If she doesn't, not your problem.

Tell your FH he can pick a flavor(s) of cupcake, and book it, so you can't change it once it's done. Tell your FMIL if she wants to gift you a cake that would be so sweet of her! And watch her drop the subject like a hot potato.

Idk. Good luck, I'm having cupcakes and a small cake (2 tiers) and my FMIL brought up that she doesn't see the point in having a display cake (my original intent) so I stopped telling her about my plans for that part. I guess you could always agree to her wants, tell her you'll take care of it, and not do it.

@luckyak we do have a 2 tied cake, she wants like just russian round cakes just for the sake of having. He even wants to get a bride cake, which I never said shouldn't be done because I know it's what he really wants.

@luvefreeandbride i will keep trying. I tried to talk to him to find a line where we can both get on board. He really thinks we are using monopoly money, said we can just rent stuff and if we don't use it oh well. Like dude if we don't use it that is 75 dollars we could use else where.

I know i gotta find a better way to communicate, I just feel so frustrated. Luckily this week I woke 3-11pm so I get some alone time to get my stuff together.

It sounds to me like if he keeps mentioning it, he really wants it, even if he doesn't come out and say it, but he also wants to keep you happy which is sweet on his part.

Have a small cake for his sake, it is his wedding too. I bet he will be really happy if you say "so I was thinking about what you said, let's also have a small wedding cake. Do you want to pick it out?"

ETA: now I'm confused about this cake thing if you already have a cake. What is the difference between the russian cake? What is a bride cake?

@futuremrsb we do have a small wedding cake. It's a 2 tier foe the cutting plus the top tier for the anniversary, plus we have the cake he is getting, the grooms cake and some Jewish cake that tastes like angel food cake.

I would say compromise and get a small 2 tier cake. Or get a groom's cake made just for him

@patricia we already have them, that's why I get mad BC I compromised so much but his mother just wants it to be just like her daughters wedding. He only brings it up when his mother talks about it. Super annoying.

But thanks everyone for reading, venting is healthy and this stuff keeps me sane...ish