Desperately needing advice...

Yeah this is hard but the timeline does not really matter in the grand scheme of things and it’s their decision when they wanna get married. My good friend got engaged like 8 months after me and set her date to just 5 days before mine so trust me I get it, but my wedding day isn’t about other people so I wasn’t too torn up about it. Just try to stay positive about your wedding and be excited for you and your future husband 😊

Also, I forgot to mention that I also now have family that has said “we can’t afford both weddings so now we’ll have to choose”. It’s really quite frustrating...

Very sorry to hear this I can only imagine your frustration. Yes our weddings our just one day but we all put in so much effort for a year or more to make the day perfect for ourselves and our loved ones. I’m sorry your family is making it seem like a choice of who’s to attend - have you ever considered changing the month of your wedding for your own sake. Although you chose your date first , is it worth dealing with these issues for the next year and a half..Maybe you can discuss this with FH and perhaps your family so then you could hopefully avoid all the drama and enjoy celebrating both your wedding as well as your cousins. Good luck

View Quoted Comment Hey Salem,


Thanks for the reply. It’s definitely heart breaking. Unfortunately due to COVID a lot ofOther dates are taken and I’m kind of stuck. I feel as though I am stuck between keeping my date, loosing a lot of my guests, my mom and sister In laws not being at my bachelorette and family dealing with financialStrain... or I cancel my wedding. Both options seem just terrible at this time

View Quoted Comment Can you possibly do a bachelorette a month or two prior to September just so you can have all your family attend and it can solely be about you. In regards to the family choosing one wedding over the other it is unfortunate but hopefully they can RSVP ahead of time so you have a final list and move forward to change your focus on just enjoying the wedding with whoever chooses to come. If they don’t choose then it’s their loss missing out on a beautiful day but don’t let it take away from celebrating your marriage to your FH. Be selfish and keep the perspective on you two- it’s your day after all and don’t let semantics obscure what’s most important which is your union to your FH. Your family will still be there at the end of the day and im sure they will also share in other big life moments with you moving forward because you have a lot to look ahead to even after marriage!

I don’t think it’s fair that your family is telling you they’re going to have to choose because they can’t afford both, especially since you chose first. So I’m so sorry you’re going through that, you don’t need that stress. As far as the bachelorette, I think you should try to schedule it for another time so that everyone you want to go can go and it doesn’t conflict with her wedding. That is something that’s a little easier to change around. My FH’s family has a few out of staters so we are constantly scheduling things back to back so that the family can attend both things and not have to spend money on travel and it can be a total pain and buzzkill for the person being celebrated, so I totally understand being frustrated about it. But also keep in mind something you said yourself....due to COVID, a lot of dates are already taken and will be harder to come by for the next year or two. Do you think maybe the date she chose could be the only date that is going to work for the venue she wants and her timeline? I don’t know you or your cousin well or how your relationship is, but I feel like if my cousin approached me and said she wasn’t happy I chose a date so close to hers, I’d be hesitant to open up and discuss it all with her since wedding planning can be stressful enough. If it really bothers you, maybe approach it in a different way. Ask her how she chose her date, talk over the COVID issues, try to make her feel more like you’re her friend and her family before telling her you’re upset with her over her date. Then maybe you could get a better understanding as to why she picked the day she did.

I can't tell for sure from you're post, did your cousin know your date before she choose hers? Or, did you tell her hoping that she hadn't already scheduled it, but she had?

If she had already scheduled it when you told her about yours, then I can see why she wouldn't want to change it. If she did know and chose it anyway, I can see why you're upset and angry, but you still can't really do anything about it.

Maybe a cancellation will come up and you can change yours to 2 weeks before hers.

View Quoted Comment Unfortunately, she knew for two
Months when my wedding date was, her mom advised her not to book in the same month as mine.. and she did it anyways. Unfortunately with my MOH being a wedding photographer, changing my date isn’t in the cards as she has weddings booked

Trish,


I’m going to tell you what you might not want to hear. Reschedule your bachelorette- it stinks but it’s doable, be happy for yourself and your cousin, and try to understand people’s financial decisions. You and your FH will have the best day ever at your wedding! If this is what you’re complaining about right now, then life is pretty good! Stay positive... and healthy! 💜

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Wow. I can't believe she did that. I also can't believe your mom wants to skip your events that were planned first to attend your cousin's wedding. That kind of sucks. Wish I had some advice, but if she wouldn't even listen to her mom, I'm not sure what you can do.

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I completely agree with Samantha's advice

I am sorry about the frustrating situation. I understand that its more than not ideal. I do think, however, you're making a big deal about your bachelorette party. Its still over a year away - I'd have a hard time imagining that you couldn't reschedule it. Your cousin sounds like a character for going ahead and booking anyway, but I suspect she had her reasons, even if you don't know them. Maybe she's always wanted a September wedding? Try not to let this get to you too much. Like you said, you only get one day, and you can almost certainly figure out something with your bachelorette party.