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Rachel
Savvy September 2020

Depression setting in

Rachel, on July 30, 2020 at 9:23 AM Posted in Community Conversations 1 42
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I have been planning, doing the graphic designs, calling people and emailing people; just about everything for the wedding myself. I enjoy doing that stuff. I'm an artist and also very organized person, but now we are postponing the wedding for the second time and I'm starting to get depressed about it. I put a lot of time and effort into making everything really great and working things out for both my fiance and myself. In addition I've also had to somehow make it through the drama of his mom (she's kinda crazy.. like seriously. He even warned me!) and finally come to grips with her I guess. Finally, I'm also doing all of this because I know it's really important for my family members. And I want them to come together and be apart of sending us off together for our "new" married life. Than we can start having kiddies!



I've just been down in the dumps the last couple days. I don't even know what to do anymore. I had a lot of hope... and usually I can climb out of bad things easy-peasy like, but this time I'm really feeling down. Maybe I'm looking for advice or kind words... I dunno, but it seems like weddingwire is pretty supportive for us brides.
-♥️- Rachel

42 Comments

Latest activity by Crystal, on September 15, 2020 at 8:06 AM
  • Yasmine
    Rockstar October 2020
    Yasmine ·
    • Flag

    I hope you start feeling more excited about your wedding again. Do you have your dress? If so try it on again. That's what I did when I was feeling stressed and overwhelmed. It helped me ALOT!

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  • Jene
    Dedicated September 2020
    Jene ·
    • Flag
    When you feeling depressed try to focus on something positive to get you out the mood, or listening to music, dancing, singing, or writing your thoughts down. Hopefully this time yall can get married and move forward in life. Try not to let other peoples problems effect you.
    • Reply
  • Katerina
    Beginner June 2021
    Katerina ·
    • Flag
    Totally feel ya, girl! Our wedding is supposed to be September 6, but everyone is pressuring me to postpone. I know it’s hard especially when you do everything yourself. I try not to get too depressed about it, but it’s hard!
    • Reply
  • Taran
    Expert September 2020
    Taran ·
    • Flag

    I was just about to post and "i'm officially sad" post because I feel you. I'm so sorry that you have to postpone again. We kept staying optimistic and made no plan and now postponing isn't an option because we wouldn't be able to get any money back from the venue. One of my lifelong family friends just said she couldn't come, my grandma may not come, and my fiance's dad is unsure if they can because they'll be traveling from Seattle. Every time I find something to get excited about it's like fifteen other things come up that are like psych. I'm so excited to get married but also a, just kind of ready to get it over with because I'm so emotionally exhausted. I feel for all my fellow COVID brides. I think focusing on whatever pieces can get you excited and hang in there because at the end of the day you'll be a MRS

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  • Margaret
    Rockstar October 2020
    Margaret ·
    • Flag

    I'm sorry you are feeling this way. Not to sound harsh, but it sounds like you've put a lot of pressure on yourself with the wedding planning. That in itself isn't healthy for you. You seem so focused on making everything perfect that perfect sometimes is not achievable.

    I hate that you had to postpone your wedding again and yet fully understand the reasons you have. Not sure how long you're postponed for, but my advice to you is to take a step back, relax, breathe and just enjoy being engaged a minute. Try to remember why you loved all the planning. But don't put so much pressure on yourself. Reach out to friends / family and get a little help to take some of that pressure from you. (I know that's hard to do when you're one who needs / wants to be in control).

    When things get a little more normalized, go back to your planning and all the joy you had before will come back. I promise it seems hard now, but it does get easier and better.

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  • Sexypoodle
    Master October 2021
    Sexypoodle ·
    • Flag
    I’m sorry you’re feeling that way and really sorry that you had to postpone again. That’s not easy, especially when it comes to an event that we all want to be “perfect”. These are tough times that we don’t really have control over. But it’s making us stronger individually and as couples. It looks like your wedding schedule for September. Maybe you can shift your focus toward planning a special day or staycation with your FH over that weekend in September. Although I’m totally fine and quite excited that we postpone to next October, we’re still going to acknowledge our original wedding date this October with a getaway. It might lift your spirits to spend time making plans toward a special weekend for the two of you. Have fun with it and get creative. I think it can be a really good time! 😀


    Best wishes and I hope you begin feeling better.
    • Reply
  • FutureMrs.C
    Dedicated August 2020
    FutureMrs.C ·
    • Flag

    There really is so much pressure on us brides in particular to pull a spectacular wedding out of our a**es! It definitely wears on you. Especially with the pandemic and having to reschedule so many times and working with all the vendors to reschedule and blah blah - girl, I feel you, and I'm so sorry that you have to deal with all of that.

    Just remember that this doesn't need to be "perfect". I'm sure it'll be so lovely once it's finally here. And once you can finally have your wedding, it'll be that much more special. Just remember that it's about you and your fiance ultimately (although i definitely understand the pressure from friends and family to make things go a certain way or maintain a certain made up standard). You're a rockstar!! Just keep your eye on the prize: A wonderful marriage Smiley heart Smiley heart

    • Reply
  • Angel
    Expert August 2020
    Angel ·
    • Flag

    I can relate to this so much. I'm so sorry any of us have to go through this. I've also put a lot of time and effort in planning the wedding of our dreams, and for it all to come crashing down is indeed heartbreaking. I cried far too hard two nights ago. A lot of mixed emotions on postponing/cancelling/eloping and indecisiveness. I'm also typically not a down in the dumps kind of person, but this is really getting to me. I wish there was something, anything, I could say to make you feel better. But I know nothing can make me feel better. What does help is knowing I'm not the only one going through this, although I wouldn't wish it upon anyone.

    • Reply
  • Marisa
    Rockstar May 2021
    Marisa ·
    • Flag
    Girl I feel you, I got hit hard with the emotions and the stress of postponing & changing everything.
    Then I started to find things to look forward to in the new plans...that’s helped a bunch!
    Everything will be just fine and perhaps even better! Xoxo
    • Reply
  • L
    Just Said Yes September 2021
    Lisa ·
    • Flag

    Your feelings are valid ❤️

    • Reply
  • Jasie
    Dedicated September 2020
    Jasie ·
    • Flag
    Reading this was like reading something I could've written myself. I did 90% of the planning, also down to the invitations design, because I love all of this as well. My FH's mom is also a little crazy haha.
    It sucks. That's the only way I can describe it. This all just sucks.
    • Reply
  • Alisha
    Super April 2021
    Alisha ·
    • Flag

    I am sorry that you feel that way. I know that it is hard bc I had to postpone my wedding too but I am looking forward to marrying by best friend and I know that day will be one of my happiest day. I know that it is hard bc you have planned for your big day. Just know that everything will work out for you and your fh. Everything will fall into place so worry or stress about anything (which is hard to do). Stay positive, stay calm bc your dreams and hard work become a reality.

    • Reply
  • Daniela
    Dedicated August 2020
    Daniela ·
    • Flag

    I’m so sorry that you had to postpone again. I definitely understand (and feel) the pressure that comes with doing 90% of the planning yourself, and having a crazy MIL. It’s really disappointing having to postpone but take a deep breath and know that you can relax now. You’ve postponed and you can stop thinking about it for a while now. Life is still happening and while it’s upsetting to have so many plans ruined, the next year (or however long you have postponed) will pass and you WILL get to have your day. Hang in there Smiley heart

    • Reply
  • Eri
    Super October 2020
    Eri ·
    • Flag

    I'm right there with you mood-wise. I'm so sorry that you had to postpone twice, and it sounds like you've been handling it much better than I would have. You're definitely entitled to feel down! People who aren't going through this don't seem to understand what a grieving process it is.

    We're on Plan B at the moment, which is get married on our original wedding date with a much smaller group, and no dancing or anything (just a formal dinner). As each day passes, I wonder if Plan C is more likely -- immediate family only.

    It's getting harder and harder for me to look at "normal" wedding pictures from other people pre-pandemic. And as I assess and reassess our options, I get more conflicted over what's best. Smiley sad

    I hope you feel better, and that you get to show off your designs soon!

    • Reply
  • Mercedes
    Beginner October 2020
    Mercedes ·
    • Flag

    Sending positive vibes! Postponing for a 2nd time really sucks for a lot of us. (I was a June 2020 bride to October 2020 bride to......TBD) These are unprecedented times. I wish people around us were more understanding and did what they could to reduce our stress instead of adding to it. I hope for you and everyone, things pan out and we get some clearer direction moving forward.

    • Reply
  • Rachel
    Savvy September 2020
    Rachel ·
    • Flag
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    Ours was the 19th! We decided to cancel and get married in the courthouse. 35 out of 180 RSVP-ed. The grooms mom is holding information to give to the rest of his family, which is just like... unbelievable. I don't want to give up on this because it's a pivotal point in our life and it's not fair to have it "taken away." All in all, I guess I just have to proceed differently and not give up. I'll have to settle with a different year to celebrate. Thanks Katerina.

    • Reply
  • Rachel
    Savvy September 2020
    Rachel ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    I do have my dress! Maybe I'll try that, although I might cry. Thanks Yasmine. I'm not gonna give things up completely, even if it happens in a few years.

    • Reply
  • Rachel
    Savvy September 2020
    Rachel ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    OH my G. Thanks. You have a great point. I'll be a MRS!!! *BIG HUGS*

    • Reply
  • Yasmine
    Rockstar October 2020
    Yasmine ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    At least it’ll be years of joy Smiley heart I hope you feel better
    • Reply
  • Rachel
    Savvy September 2020
    Rachel ·
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    View Quoted Comment

    It's not really the planning that hurts so much, honestly, but you're right that I should remember how much I enjoyed it. That stuff is all said and done with now. It just sucks that there were no fruits from it.

    The soon-to-be mother-in-law, as far as I can tell, gets kicks out of messing with our life. She controlled the communication to the rest of the grooms family and has been playing nasty games with us. It really makes me nauseous to talk/think about. I've never met a person like this before. Usually if I find out someone is malicious I can walk away and live my life, but it's his Mom, so I felt like it's the right thing to try to work things out and include her. So along with that mess and COVID 19, it's been a hell of a trip.

    Thanks Margaret. I think I will go back to planning a wedding event for us once things are normalized. I have learned a lot this year and the best I can do is take what I learned and make things better next time.

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