Depression and wedding planning nightmare?

Talk to your fiancé and tell them your concerns.

I have talked to him, he doesn't want to spend more than 3k on our ENTIRE wedding. The ceremony venue alone was 950$ and I caved and agreed to have the reception at our churches multipurpose gym building. So that means gym floor, raised basbetball hoops overhead in the ceiling, the biggest eyesore is a scoreboard, and just the general not formal feeling you get from the building. MY ceremony is at a beautiful dream chapel and I feel like my reception is going to be trash. I feel terrible if we have a pot luck wedding because then people feel obligated to bring something, but I don't want to not feed 120 people! It's near impossible to have a nice wedding with that many people at 3k and he just doesn't get it.

That sounds really stressful! I don't have bipolar, but I do struggle with depression, so I understand it makes things much more difficult. I agree, a potluck wedding is not the way to go. There are some cheaper options, such as BBQ or Italian. You could even do a cake and punch reception if that is what you can afford.

@Tamara - I also have bipolar disorder. You are not alone here! Wedding planning is incredibly stressful, and bipolar brain likes to lie and tell us that we aren't good enough on a daily basis, and that makes it even more stressful.

I don't know that I have any actual wedding planning advice, because other posters will give you lots of that. But make sure you are talking to your doctor/therapist throughout all of this to make sure you are taking care of your mental health first and foremost. I've seriously ramped up the amount of self-care that I'm doing during the wedding planning process and it's helping a lot.

OMG I think you are my twin. I completely understand. Even today my FH and I are having a bad day because he just doesn't realize how much everything is going to add up and cost. I even made a post here how he didn't want to hire a photographer. He also has 3 daughters that he was saying he will just comb their hair in a ponytail for the wedding -_- But yes, he wants everyone and their mama's there! lol

I had to realize and explain to my FH 2 things. One is that this wedding planning is not for me and it depresses me. How sad is that? But I explained marrying him is not depressing me, it's the wedding planning that's doing it.

Then I told him that I will write down all of the things we need to buy and an estimated cost. I'm going to put a whiteboard on our wall so he can see how quickly all this stuff adds up and all these little things we need.

I know exactly what you're going through though. I'm glad I'm not alone in this Sometimes as women we do more of the planning and researching and the groom doesn't know all the details like we know them.

Time to write things down and make lists so he can see it every day.

OP, are you on any medications? Antidepressants or mood stabilizers? I know those might make a big difference in how you see everything during this process.

But as for the wedding part, could you push it back half a year or a year to allow you to save a little more and take your time, so as to decrease some of the stress you are feeling? As always, practice self care here. Talk to professionals along the way and remember that the wedding itself will only be a day but your marriage will be forever.

Good luck girl! And feel better!

He knows that's all if it adds up, he just doesn't see the "point" in paying for a wedding when the money can "go somewhere else" he even said he was okay with not going on a honeymoon and I'm

Just so discouraged. I love him so very much and the wedding is important to be because it's suppose to be an expression of our relationship and who we are and a day we're going to remember forever and right now it is just the biggest burden I have ever encountered. It's impossible to be excited when you feel defeated and the whole weight is on your shoulders.

We are waiting to have sex and move in together and the whole 9 yards so we really don't want to wait. Besides I am living with my mother and each day that gets more stressful. It's just one big mess lol I am not currently medicated, I don't have health coverage til march unfortuantely. I plan to see about getting back into treatment when I do.

Everything Vivian G said!!!

We are having a very low budget wedding - around $3k as well and it is stressful and may not be everything I've ever dreamed of or what everyone else has had. And I am ok with that! We're doing a lot of personal touches to make it US. We are taking up the offers from family and friends on decor that people had left over from their wedding (lanterns, votive candles, hanging globes, lights, etc) all of these things were perfect for the garden/boho/rustic wedding we are having at my grandfather's farm land. The wedding world is so easy to get wrapped up in from what you've always wanted to now actually making it a reality and honestly no matter what anyone says, it is the day you get to marry your dream man/woman and that is what truly matters. If you don't want a ton of people there, then don't whether it be that they aren't close family or friends or simply don't have it in the budget to feed them. We are having family only (I have a big family in itself) and a few friends outside of the bridal party. Try not to compare your day to anyone else's. I know it's easier said than done. There was a moment about a month ago that I sat down and cried and told my maid of honor that I didn't think a wedding was going to happen and we didn't have the money for it. It doesn't matter how much it costs, take up using resources and connections - believe it or not, people LOVE to help out even if it's just giving someone's contact info. We even considered doing a pot luck type wedding. I know - so looked down upon - but with the help of my big family's awesome cooking and not adding many more people outside of that, it was totally okay with my aunts and grandparents. We have since put that down only because my dad and step mom have offered to pay for a VERY affordable caterer. As long as you have the family and friends you couldn't imagine missing your day and you marry your best friend, all of the little details don't matter at the end of the day and no one who cares for you will judge what you did or didn't do and what you had and didn't have. You will be surprised what little things you can do with a small budget and make it what you want! You got this girl!!

Although I don't suffer from bipolar or depression, wedding planning definitely gives me the blues - big time. It is so not for me. I've had multiple mental breakdowns. What helps me, when things get to much, is to have a 5-minute time-out for myself. I take lots of rescue remedy. And I have a mantra: "You're marrying the love of your life". Everything else is second, as long as you remember that the most important part of the whole day is exchanging vows.

For the reception, please go easy on yourself. Your guests love you (hopefully - if they don't love you, you shouldn't be inviting them). And they will love your wedding, even if it isn't in their tastes. You will always get judgmental snobs who will criticise you behind your back - but that is life.

I decided not to do printed invitations, and instead did it via email (we have a wedding website, and I designed my own online invitation in canva). And if people judge me for that, then so be it. You know why? Because I am marrying the love of my life, and sending fancy invitations out that everyone will throw away after the wedding is just not important to us.

Your eyesore is the scoreboard? Can you drape something over it? If not, create another focal point for people to look at. You can skip a sit-down dinner and do canape's. Or a dessert wedding. Or a potluck. Enquire at your church if anyone has connections. Ignore the naysayers (easier said than done, I know) and marry the love of your life.

And please, take care of yourself. Stress is so bad for bipolar disorder, especially since you aren't medicated right now.

Simplify your wedding by cutting the guest list. Or you could change your reception to a cake and punch type event that would occur at a non meal time like 2 pm.

You know that you need to be on your meds for your bipolar disorder, take care of yourself.

Another vote for a cake and punch reception. I think you will find the whole thing less stressful if you know you are hosting properly. Cake, some drinks, some platters of little sandwiches/veggies/fruit/cheese, and that's it. Much more affordable and less stress. I am concerned that you are rushing it before you guys are ready in order to live together and get you out of your current living situation. If that's true, postponing, moving out to live on your own, getting your meds onboard, and saving more seems like a much better option that will make you happier in the end. This is just my opinion, but you should be getting married from a place of strength and contentment. You should have a life you are happy with alone. I am concerned it could leave you in a vulnerable position, where you have to accept the unacceptable (like not feeding guest or having the wedding you want) for fear of losing an improved living situation. Give some thought to pushing it back for a year, move out, get your meds all straightened out, and save. It seems like that would get you to a much happier place and then you could actually enjoy planning.,

I think the problem is that everyone here is working class and that means broke. Good luck ladies. Don't let money blues hurt you...creativity in saving money can still make a dream wedding. I too am on a small budget. Honestly 3K would be over budget. Lol. Fight!! Enjoy your special day girls.

It's a troll account.

Why do I feel this is a troll? Hmmm

Tamara please take care of yourself. Everything will fall into place .You might have to back away from wedding planning ,for a while. Or get a family member to help with the rest of the planning.

Wait who is a troll? I am def not trolling ??