Depressed and wanting to elope

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way- the two of you will have to decide what you want and if you'll regret the decision...

Hope it all gets figured out

Aren't you just having a small DW anyway?

Why not just remove the guests and have it just be you and FH

Absolutely!!!!

Listen, at the end of the day it's about marrying your best friend. I think that stepping away from wedding planning for a little while is a good idea. After my mom died, I stopped planning for 2 months. If you can't seem to muster the excitement after that, then maybe do consider eloping!

I think since you're still about 8 months out, that is plenty of time for you to be able to make a decision like this. At the end of the day, your wedding shouldn't cause you to be depressed. Maybe it's just me, but although the wedding planning is stressful, this is going to be the best day of my life, to date! I can't wait for it all and wouldn't want to do an elopement just because of family. If this is something you truly want, then I say go for it. People don't get to ask questions if you're paying for it all.

Yup! I feel this way a lot but mainly because we already have 2 children together and life is exhausting once you have children lol We were supposed to get married 2 years ago but my dad passed away and then my sister and I just couldn't handle it. Eloping may be a great option for you. I wanted to as well but my FH didn't so we compromised and are having a small wedding with about 50 people.

My fiancé and I are in the same boat. The whole wedding planning is stressful and it doesn't really seem to be about us. There are so many rules/traditions and so many other people's opinions. Everyone says it is supposed to be about you, but you don't want to hurt people's feelings and alienate yourself from your family because you don't follow their wishes. It is a tough place to be in. We are trying to take it one step at a time and keep in mind that it's just one day. You have to remain a team and stand up for yourselves, but do it respectfully. Just know you're not alone in not be totally thrilled by the whole thing. Try to remember in the end you'll be happy and married

Yes! This is why we haven't signed our venue contract yet. We get excited knowing we'll be married but the idea of finalizing the venue then proceeding through the planning process has us at a standstill. If eloping is what you want then go for it! At the end of the day the marriage is what matters, whether it's a huge shin-dig or just you two, it doesn't make a difference in the promises you're making to eachother. Do what's right for you and your FH.

Yes I felt this way. However, we have a short engagement and it was too late to cancel without losing a substantial amount of money. Don't waste money on a party to please other people. Decide what you and your FH want .

I feel this way off and on. At this point, we'd lose too much money to cancel and elope. And I also think I'd regret it if I did cancel it.

So many family dynamics come into play while planning. I'm sorry you're depressed. You need to take care of yourself and if eloping is what will help then do it. But you will probably still need counseling and to take a closer look at your relationship with FH and the in laws. I don't know what's going on exactly but often times boundaries need to be established. Weddings can be a perfect time to learn the balance between picking your battles and establishing boundaries. This is important because unless you're estranged, in laws will be in your business with children, money, everything and that needs to be stopped.

I felt like that for a while. I threw in the towel in wedding planning for a couple weeks. My FH did 2 things: 1) talk w his parents- specially his mom and noted that they where putting to much pressure on us; we are doing our wedding our way (they got upset for a bit, but it work), 2)he kept the ball rolling in wedding planning.

Its up to you and what you guys want. but before you make a decision do a list of pros and cons, and decide after

I get very anxious and stressed out about the wedding and it's over a year away. I'm sorry you are feeling this way. If you think it's best to elope then do It! It's your day and you are marrying your best friend. My FH and I considered eloping because he is in the military but we both want a big wedding with family and friends so we are making it work. Go with your gut!

I have always said from day one that I'd much rather just go to the courthouse!

@Chip, we were planning a small DW, and are thinking about doing exactly as you suggest. My FMIL went ahead and invited 150 guests to a engagement party for us, coming up in 2 months or so. We've been reading about how people perceive these large engagement no wedding invite scenarios and it's just making us sick to the stomach thinking how people will think they've been used or not "worth a wedding invite" - it's taken the joy out of our own plans. Thinking of just going down to Cabo next month and getting married alone.

@Morgan, you hit the nail on the head! This is exactly how we feel. All attempts to dissuade FI's family from a large celebration have so far failed. It feels completely out of our control, like we're just along for the ride

Your FMIL shouldn't invite anyone to an engagement party that isn't invited to the wedding. But that is on her, not on you. She is the one who is going to have to explain to all those people that they aren't invited.

I would mention to her (or have FH mention) that she should only throw a party for those invited to the wedding. If she doesn't and it is still stressing you out, then just go elope like you both want to. No one will blame you for doing something you both want to do.