When I first got engaged one of the first person I told was my best friend, who is also my older sister. We are 10 months a part and practically twins. My older sister has been through a lot with me and she has drifted over the years when we both went off to different colleges. I thought she'd be perfect as my MOH! At the time I couldn't think of anybody else.
She recently moved back home to AZ and we had more chances to speak about my wedding and everything. Red flag number one, I didn't realize how bad her drinking problem has become. Red flag number 2: she is never there for any of my events. I was very upset when she told me she couldn't make it to my dress fitting. She said she couldn't find a ride, which was understandable. I told her that we could face time ... BUT she never picked up the phone. And no she doesn't have a job and she wasn't sick. She's always on her phone but never responds to me when I write to her. Just talking about each others day seems like a chore to her.
Another problem I am having is getting her to find a dress SHE likes. Every time I find something and my other bridesmaids like, it's my MOH who turns it down. She will say things like, "I'll pay more to wear something else." I am staying within everyone's budgets but I want them to wear the colors and style that match the theme.
I have made a group chat on FB for all of my bridesmaids and me to communicate and she has yet to even participate. I'm starting to think I made a mistake in making her my MOH, I don't feel like she is supporting me through this or helping me with everything. However, my bridesmaid has been there with me every step of the way, whether it's deciding on favors, picking out my wedding dress, or STD card designs. I feel like she would be better as a maid of honor. I'm also afraid that because of my sisters drinking problem that she will embarrass me at the wedding and be too drunk for a speech.
I know a MOH is not just someone for duties and that's not what I'm looking for. I'm looking for someone to be excited for me not bring me down and I think that she would be better as a bridesmaid, maybe take less pressure off of her.
Anyways, sorry for the rant, I'm probably missing a lot of other details but... How do you tell someone you don't think they should be a Maid of Honor? Also should I give her another shot? I have tried to speak to her about it but she has not picked up her phone.
