Demoting a bridesmaid — here’s what not to do!!!

"I love you and value your friendship so much............" Not!

That bride has certainly shown her true colors and the BM (former BM?) should feel lucky that she now knows what her friend is like. I'd ask the bride to cover the cost of the plane ticket that won't be needed.

Oh my god. that's awful! I feel so bad for the (former I guess) BM

Omg!! Tbh, I feel like it was bad on both parts. If the bride wanted her to step down, she should’ve talked to her bridesmaid in person or, at the very least, on the phone. This is NOT something you should sort out through email (unless you really don’t value your friendship sooooooo *shrugs*) plus, not sure if this was done purposefully, but why did the bride wait until the bridesmaid booked her flight to tell her she’s not a bridesmaid anymore?? Smh

the bridesmaid calling out the bride on Twitter was extremely unnecessary. What was she trying to get out of this? 15 min of fame? Although, like I mentioned before, the bride did demote her via email so their friendship probably wasn’t that important. And based on the email, it seems like the bridesmaid really wasn’t doing much. Personally, if I can’t keep up with the responsibilities of being a bridesmaid, I’d be a little bit offended but totally understand that there are others that would be a “better bridesmaid” than I am. Not sure what’s going on between these two since so much goes behind the scenes, but whatever, life goes on

View Quoted Comment The dirty of a brides mad is buying the dress and standing next to the bride. Maid of honor does the showers and bachelorette party. They do not Havr to do that just if they want.

View Quoted Comment This girl clearly lives far away and is in school if she had to book a flight for the wedding and was waiting to figure out her class schedule to do so. What responsibilities would she have? She had the dress and booked her flight for the wedding. That’s all she’s required to do. Everything else is extra. No one is required to attend a bachelorette weekend or set up/clean up the wedding. That’s what this girl isn’t doing according to the bride’s e-mail. Having bridesmaids is about honoring who those people are to you and what the relationships mean to you. It isn’t about who can do things for you.

View Quoted Comment Seems like she put it on Twitter to try to get JetBlue to refund her ticket.

That depends on the bride. Some brides expect their bridesmaids to just stand there whereas some brides expect their bridesmaids to be wedding planners. Again, I’m not sure what went on behind the scenes, but the bride should’ve made it clear that she expected her to have responsibilities. If she did, it’s on the bridesmaid. If not, it’s on the bride.

Sorry, I meant to reply to Colleen

View Quoted Comment Whether they expect to have bridesmaids be their planner or not, that’s not how it works. If brides want a planner, they should hire one. If you fire a bridesmaid, that’s the end of the friendship.

View Quoted Comment You have some good points. I’ve heard of stories of bridesmaids that were only there for the “fun times” but in this case the bridesmaid wasn’t there for either the fun times or work ... so kind of neutral? Again, the bride should’ve made it clear what she expected from her bridesmaid.

View Quoted Comment She obviously lived hundreds or thousands of miles away & was in school. w/ the bride knowing that it was a little inconsiderate of her to assign her “duties” or expect her to make it to every single “event” in the first place smh I live in MI & would never tell my bridesmaid in CA that she needs to be at all of my things. Especially knowing that she is both a nurse & in school. It seems extra but sometimes responding on social media in situations such as these gets you a faster or more helpful response from customer service..I know 1st hand.

View Quoted Comment Sorry! I meant wedding planner as more like doing tasks here and there. I hope there aren’t brides that truly expect their bridesmaids to be legit wedding planners (and quite sadly, I’m pretty sure there are -___-)

agreed, firing a bridesmaid should not be taken lightly (and not through email omgggggg) hence why I felt it should’ve been done in person

Maybe Courtney was just flaky and terrible but really BM’s are about having those closest to you on an important day. Alex should have chosen more wisely if she wanted absolute involvement or accepted that Courtney’s life did not revolve around her wedding.
I feel sorry for the back-up bridesmaid. Could you imagine that email?

My fiancé had to select a back-up groomsman and that was awkward enough. The individual backed out because his job would not approve his vacation request; it’ll be peak wildfire season and he will be needed. It was early on but still awkward.

That is... just wow.

This makes me feel relieved I won't have BMs or have ever been one. Lol

... But did JetBlue help her out? Im curious to know how this ends!!!

View Quoted Comment But brides maids have a life.

It is the brides wedding. So epcting a brides maid to do your work is not ok. I think people forget that while your wedding party is happy for you. It is not the most important day to them. And they still have to lead busy lives.

View Quoted Comment Lol it looks like she got her refund!!

I can't read it, I guess bc I'm on my phone 😭 lol do you have a link?

Following so I can look at this later on my computer in hopes of being able to read it. But from what I can tell it seems ridiculous!