Demands to make a birthday "party" at our wedding

Girl, you are not being a bridezilla AT ALL! Your FMIL and FSIL are being bday zillas!! Their requests are absolutely ridiculous. And to make matters even worse, your wedding isn’t even ON her actual birthday. Them trying to hijack your wedding in order to celebrate an adult’s birthday (the day AFTER her bday) is beyond rude, entitled and overstepping. Your fiancé needs to put his foot down with his mother and sister and make it very clear that your wedding will be about what is SUPPOSED to be about… celebrating your marriage.

No, you don't need to make your wedding a birthday celebration for her. (It amazes me how some people behave when it comes to their own birthdays, an event that happens every year.) She can celebrate her birthday some other day, which adults do all the time. If you want to be nice, you could have a mini cake for her or have the DJ play a song for her -- but absolutely not required.

Maria, you are not being a bridezilla at all! In all honestly, it is a bit tacky for your MIL to suggest having a small birthday party for your SIL at your wedding. The day should be about you and your future husband. You should have a conversation with them and let them know although, you do love you SIL and would like to celebrate her, your wedding day is not the day for that. I hope they can understand!

Maria! You have every right to feel how you feel! It is absolutely dishonorable for someone even to suggest doing a blended wedding birthday party. Do not doubt your feelings in this at all.

OMG my wedding celebration was ON my SILs birthday! We sung happy birthday and had some dessert in the morning while getting ready. Of course I posted on my IG story thanking her for being part of my bridal party on her birthday. Nothing extra was done the rest of the day! Some family at the wedding wished her a happy birthday but thats about it.

I wouldn't tolerate anything from your SIL and MIL, especially because your wedding is the day after, not even the same day.

It's probably not that you are "the least assertive", you may have been speechless at the audacity. No, you don't want to have a birthday lunch hours before your wedding ceremony. Tell FH to shut it down, you both need to be in a marriage mindset, focused on each other. Whether 40 or 400 guests, nervousness, excitement, stress, is all the same. Adults can have their own day btw, let them plan and pay for their own party.

Personally, I think you’re being super restrained and kind cause my reaction would to say “I only get one day. Your birthday is a single day. Not a week. We will not be celebrating your birthday at our wedding and you’re ridiculous for even considering asking me to do that.” And that’s me being restrained (my real reaction is to use words WW doesn’t let you type…)

You are definitely not a bridezilla. 100% talk to your fiancé about putting his foot down with his mom and sister that they are being inconsiderate and extremely rude.

The ONLY thing I could see doing if this was my situation would be to suggest having a cake at your rehearsal dinner for her, if that is indeed on her birthday (if you’re even having one). But to ask you to pause your wedding prep that morning to have a birthday lunch for her a day after, and to make your reception about her birthday, which again isn’t even on that day, is so beyond the pale. I’m legitimately angry on your behalf.

Wow is that a ridiculous ask on the part of your FSIL and FMIL! I'd be furious! If you want to be generous, you could offer to have a lunch on her actual birthday or cake at your rehearsal dinner or something, but there's no way you should be spending your wedding day celebrating her birthday nor using your wedding reception as her birthday party. Birthdays happen every year and can be celebrated on a different day if need be. Your wedding is ONE day in your LIFE, and it should be solely about you and your spouse-to-be.

No! This is just ridiculous that they are making your wedding about them.
You should ask that they kick in 50% of what it’s costing you to also celebrate her birthday at your event. When the answer is no, that’s what your answer should be to celebrating the birthday.

That's ridiculous, Your fiancé needs to have your back on this and let them know this won't be possible. It's his family, he needs to deal with them.

The audacity of people in the stories of this forum is too damn high.
To FH:
“I would just like to focus on our day since it is a once in a lifetime thing that we invested a lot of time, energy, and effort into. We cannot run around doing other activities as we need to prep for the wedding (hair, makeup, last minute details, etc). I’ve bent before for your mom and sister and I would like it to just be about us for this ONE day. I absolutely do not want to do lunch or have anything else at the wedding besides our wedding. We can do something for your sister X day. The whole ordeal is making me more and more upset so I would appreciate if you and I could be United on this front.”

Wow! Wow! Wow! You’re wedding day is one day of your life but birthdays occur each year. I would be mortified if my mother tried to turn someone’s wedding into my birthday party! Are the two of them always this attention-seeking, or did this seem to come out of the blue?

Okay so right off the bat I agree with you. Wedding a don't come around all the time unlike birthdays that happen every year. Your wedding day should be about you and your future spouse not a birthday. It's unreasonable that your SIL and MIL keep saying it should be split. Like... No. You guys are already doing something on her actual birthday and that should be enough. You're absolutely right about possibly not having enough time to get ready if you guys do brunch. It's insane that they're asking you to dedicate even ANY of your day for something that comes around once a year. Saying no to them doesnt make you a bridezilla bc they're asking for something that's entirely unreasonable.

View Quoted Comment This! So much. Your FMIL is being ridiculous.

Hi no I dont think that you are being unreasonable at all and I think that his mother is wrong too even too suggest it. They could have had a party for your SIL way before your wedding day. But too make you share your wedding day with your SIL is very wrong and I find it very disrespectful to guy you both. I hope that you have spoken up for yourself and that your FH agrees with you

I'm gonna keep this short and simple.

No. Don't you dare let them throw a birthday party at your MFing wedding. I'm so mad