Defeated Bride takes back her wedding and mob is angry

Honestly, I wouldn’t worry about placating her. If this is her response it’s quite immature and I’m sure offensive to you. What’s the context of her not attending dress shopping? Was it an oversight?

It depends the reason why she wasn't there.
Did you go without her so she wasn't able to pressure you to buy a dress that you wouldn't have loved but she would? Because she wouldn't have been supportive? Or another reason?

I guess I would need more information in order to really advise. But generally, "making amends" means sincerely apologizing and demonstrating (through future actions) that one is truly sorry and has changed their ways. Do you actually feel you should apologize, or by "making amends" do you mean "getting MOB to come around and be nice"?

Because you can't actually change someone else's behavior, so you are going to have to allow her to not attend your party. Be sad for a bit, but then move on. A "dress reveal party" is such a small thing in the large scope of planning a wedding and getting married.

View Quoted Comment She's in Florida and has been there the entire time with plane tickets to fly home but decided to stay till May leaving me with 4 months to find a dress. I was stressing for months, calling her almost daily about needing to go shopping and she said, "well I could come home now but I don't want to." So I went without her and now she's coming home. I did FaceTime her once I found my dress so she was virtually apart of it and the bridal shop is offering a dress reveal for her but she said I was wrong for going in the first place and should've waited for her.

View Quoted Comment Kinda. I originally was going to shop with my Mom and 2 friends but she threw a fit that I invited friends so I had to tell them, they couldn't go. Plus my Mom has been in Florida the entire time and hasn't been willing to come home any earlier than May which left me 4 months to find a dress. Our wedding reception is completely her idea and I've already had to make several changes to our wedding because of her...I just got angry and said enough and went by myself.

I've never even heard of a "dress reveal party." I don't think I understand the issue -- she wanted to go to your dress shopping appointment, but you didn't invite her, so now she's refusing to go to the party? Just let it go. I assume your close friends will be there and that's what matters. As long as your FMIL isn't threatening to skip the wedding, this is a non-issue.

If she didn't want to come home from Florida to go dress shopping with you after you repeatedly asked her to go dress shopping I don't see why you need to make an amends. That was her choice. You had a timeline for dress shopping and shouldn't have to change it.

View Quoted Comment Agree with this. You can’t control her reactions. If she chooses to throw a tantrum, that’s on her. This is your wedding day and she needs to respect your choices because her wedding day is long past. You learn to set and maintain boundaries with fiancé as a united front, regardless of what or who the confrontation is. If you don’t, you will be bullied and pressured into life decisions that are not for other people to decide for you.

Why did you make changes to your reception based on what she wants? If she didn't want to fly back for when you were ready to dress shop, then that's on her.

This whole relationship sounds bizarre, and her attitude is toxic.

Without more information, I'd say you shoylf look into cutting her out rather than making amends. You are bending over backwards for someone behaving like a toddler

View Quoted Comment Wow!!
I totally understand why you eventually went without her since " I could but I don't want" is enough. In fact, you telling your friends they couldn't come because of mom was a serious warning. How selfish of her this is!
These ad because you planned the reception she wants over the one you want are more than enough to NOT make any amends with her.She should, not you.Girl: You're an adult, you're no longer a little girl, unable to make big decisions; It's time for you to get respected by her and set strong boundarie ... unless you want her to keep rolling over you and making big decisions for you: where you live, when you have your 1st child and so on!

View Quoted Comment You know what I am so sorry to say this but screw her. And I’m sorry to be blunt on this thread but you’ve done your due diligence if she didn’t want to come to the party then screw her. And excuse me if I offended anybody on this thread With my bluntness but sometimes I just have to call it the way it is.

What's a "dress reveal party"? Is that a thing now?

You have every right to pick a dress for yourself, unless she's paying for it.