Declining wedding invites?

I would decline. If you have to take time off, drive far and stay in a hotel for someone you barely know, skip it. Plus you won't feel bad for not having them at your wedding.

I would decline and send a gift.

I would have prefered to leave out parents cousins too but i gave into my FMIL...

Also wanted to add that FH is always up for attending whatever, and I'll certainly let him make the final decision, but I don't think he'll be heartbroken either way.

I'd also decline. (I did to my second cousins weddings!) It's understandable. Maybe not to your FMIL, but the important people will understand.

If FH doesn't really care either way, I would lean towards skipping it. It doesn't sound like he's close to this second cousin, and honestly there's other things you could spend the money for a hotel on at this point. Send a gift and call it a day.

I'd decline for sure.

To be honest, I would decline and wouldn't even send a gift.

Decline. Some people invite everyone they can think of, and ever said hello to, in their entire life. Gift grabby comes to mind.

I'd decline. IMO, there is nothing worse than going to an event where you barely know anyone, but I get anxious about that kind of stuff anyways.

Decline. You're probably on her B list anyway in the hopes that you live in NJ and won't make the trip. It's a nice gesture, but if I was in your shoes, I'd decline. Also, don't feel bad about not inviting them

I'd decline and send a small monetary gift (but thats just me). The ONLY reason I would accept is that if you and your FH wanted to get away for the weekend and go somewhere, this wedding in Virginia giving you that excuse. But I would end up leaving the wedding early and go exploring with FH

I would decline! But i would also send a gift.

I would decline and mostly because I do feel like if wedding are within the same year you should reciprocate. I know that most don't feel the same way, but I do. Honestly even just being invited to hers would make me update my guest list and add them to it. Most likely they wouldn't come if you didn't go to theirs, but I would feel odd and wrong about then not giving them a invite. I would decline and send a gift for sure though.

I would definitely decline. Especially if you don't even know them.

I'd say FH should be the primary decision-maker on this one. Even if he's not that close to the bride or groom, he may want the opportunity to catch up with family members. But if he doesn't care, then FMIL's assumptions should not push you into going.

Oooh! I just checked my calendar and realized that I already RSVPed to a bachelorette for that night. It's the FW of one of FH's best friends (FH is the best man in their wedding and his friend is a groomsman in ours). The guy's bachelor party (FH's planning) is the week before. Maybe if FH really really wants to go, he can crash in the hotel room with his parents? I'd much rather spend money on a bachelorette for someone I know and see on a regular basis, plus I already RSVPed.

There's absolutely no way these people are getting invited to our wedding either way, so I might still try to convince FH to decline, but the double-booked schedule works in my favor at least.

Thanks for the advice, everyone!

My wedding did not extend to second cousins. Unless I REALLY know the family member and we're involved in each others lives, I wouldn't invest that kind of time or money.....unless of I have a lot of each to blow!!!!

If it was local Id go but since you would have to travel I would decline.