Decisions?!??

I’m not sure the benefit of a small ceremony and large reception. The expense of a wedding is primarily in the cost of the reception, so it wouldn’t save you any money to do that. And as a guest I’d be disappointed to be excluded from the ceremony. I’d say either have a big wedding or a small wedding, but invite all your guests to the whole event.

Mhm okay so does your soon to be husband want another wedding are is it just you that really wants the wedding?

View Quoted Comment I was thinking more of the lines of an intimate wedding with just family and the have a reception with everyone, family, friends, and extended family. I understand that people would be upset but they are invited to celebrate with us at the reception. Then I think they will be fine. Thanks for your input.

View Quoted Comment He say doesn’t matter to him but he has said before baby we don’t have to do all that. His first wedding was rushed and I don’t necessarily want that. At first I was like a small intimate beach wedding and then have a reception with the entire family if that’s make sense.

View Quoted Comment It just kinda seems like trying to have your cake and eat it too lol. Like either you want it to be intimate or big, you know? Of course it’s your decision and you can do what you want, but as a guest my favorite part of weddings is seeing the ceremony so I’d be disappointed even if I was invited to the reception. Just a thought!

View Quoted Comment Yes I am lol. I could overthinking some things because I’m just in my head. I have sometime to think about it. I appreciate your input and I really don’t want to leave anyone out too. I have been back and forth about it seriously.

My husband had wanted our ceremony to be at a location that we would have only been able to have 10 people at the most. Then he wanted to have a large reception. I turned down this idea because we wouldn't have been able to include everyone we wanted at the ceremony and it would have caused a lot of hurt feelings because family and friends would have been very disppointed not to be invited to the ceremony. Personally, I would never have a ceremony and reception with two different guest lists. I would invite everyone to both or none.

View Quoted Comment Yea I see your point.

Personally I don't think the fact that he's already been married should change anything. This is your wedding and hopefully both of your's last wedding, so it should be exactly what you want. I would suggest sitting down with your partner and doing a very traditional pro/con list to see if you're on the same page. Don't even consider his first wedding - this is your relationship with him and you deserve to start your marriage how you want.

That’s our story too. Hubby’s 2nd, my 1st. We ended up doing a micro destination wedding with 15 guests. Then a local reception for 50 guests three months later. Loved having two events (and two wedding dresses!), but we did so much DIY for both it was exhausting too.


Not sure about you, but at first I was a little disappointed he already had a wedding. But it was great because he was open to something different if I wanted it.

View Quoted Comment Thank you so much! I really appreciate it

View Quoted Comment Thank you!! I know he is open to whatever I’m thinking but I just want it to be ours and special. I appreciate everyone’s input.

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You're welcome!

I went with this option: check Airbnb and VRBO for homes that have nice landscaping/pretty view/etc. if you want something smaller. Much more affordable than renting a traditional venue! Just check with the owner first to make sure you won't be violating any of their policies with number of guests and whatnot.

I always wanted a smaller wedding than I ended up having but all in all I wouldn’t change anything because I’m happy I got to celebrate with so many people. However I do see what your cousin means aha because weddings are so expensive you could go on a ton of nice honeymoons with that $ spent. But also you don’t need some big fancy elaborate celebration either it could be simple too.

View Quoted Comment Okay that’s smart... and different I never thought of that!! Thank you

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Of course! Good luck

View Quoted Comment Lol he is so serious!! Lol we are super close but I know what you mean. I appreciate everything.
You guys have open my eyes to different options.