H
Beginner June 2022

Decisions?!??

Heather, on June 7, 2020 at 11:08 AM Posted in Planning 0 18
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Hello,


I guess I am caught in a little decision making. This is my first wedding and my fiancé second time getting married. I want something nice but now I’m thinking maybe a smaller wedding ceremony and bigger reception. I wanted to get married at the beach and have a reception at another place. My cousin said he would have got married at the courthouse and take a nice honey moon. I’m just thinking and wanted some output from other ladies who have gone through or been through the process. I’m very indecisive. Just weighing my options.
Thanks

18 Comments

Latest activity by Heather, on June 7, 2020 at 5:02 PM
  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
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    I’m not sure the benefit of a small ceremony and large reception. The expense of a wedding is primarily in the cost of the reception, so it wouldn’t save you any money to do that. And as a guest I’d be disappointed to be excluded from the ceremony. I’d say either have a big wedding or a small wedding, but invite all your guests to the whole event.
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  • Alythea
    Dedicated May 2020
    Alythea ·
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    Mhm okay so does your soon to be husband want another wedding are is it just you that really wants the wedding?
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  • H
    Beginner June 2022
    Heather ·
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    I was thinking more of the lines of an intimate wedding with just family and the have a reception with everyone, family, friends, and extended family. I understand that people would be upset but they are invited to celebrate with us at the reception. Then I think they will be fine. Thanks for your input.
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  • H
    Beginner June 2022
    Heather ·
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    He say doesn’t matter to him but he has said before baby we don’t have to do all that. His first wedding was rushed and I don’t necessarily want that. At first I was like a small intimate beach wedding and then have a reception with the entire family if that’s make sense.
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  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
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    It just kinda seems like trying to have your cake and eat it too lol. Like either you want it to be intimate or big, you know? Of course it’s your decision and you can do what you want, but as a guest my favorite part of weddings is seeing the ceremony so I’d be disappointed even if I was invited to the reception. Just a thought!
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  • H
    Beginner June 2022
    Heather ·
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    Yes I am lol. I could overthinking some things because I’m just in my head. I have sometime to think about it. I appreciate your input and I really don’t want to leave anyone out too. I have been back and forth about it seriously.
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  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    My husband had wanted our ceremony to be at a location that we would have only been able to have 10 people at the most. Then he wanted to have a large reception. I turned down this idea because we wouldn't have been able to include everyone we wanted at the ceremony and it would have caused a lot of hurt feelings because family and friends would have been very disppointed not to be invited to the ceremony. Personally, I would never have a ceremony and reception with two different guest lists. I would invite everyone to both or none.
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  • H
    Beginner June 2022
    Heather ·
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    Yea I see your point.
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  • Elizabeth
    Super June 2021
    Elizabeth ·
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    Personally I don't think the fact that he's already been married should change anything. This is your wedding and hopefully both of your's last wedding, so it should be exactly what you want. I would suggest sitting down with your partner and doing a very traditional pro/con list to see if you're on the same page. Don't even consider his first wedding - this is your relationship with him and you deserve to start your marriage how you want.

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  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Legend March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride ·
    • Flag
    That’s our story too. Hubby’s 2nd, my 1st. We ended up doing a micro destination wedding with 15 guests. Then a local reception for 50 guests three months later. Loved having two events (and two wedding dresses!), but we did so much DIY for both it was exhausting too.


    Not sure about you, but at first I was a little disappointed he already had a wedding. But it was great because he was open to something different if I wanted it.
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  • H
    Beginner June 2022
    Heather ·
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    Thank you so much! I really appreciate it
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  • H
    Beginner June 2022
    Heather ·
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    Thank you!! I know he is open to whatever I’m thinking but I just want it to be ours and special. I appreciate everyone’s input.
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  • Elizabeth
    Super June 2021
    Elizabeth ·
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    You're welcome!

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  • Breann
    Devoted June 2020
    Breann ·
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    I went with this option: check Airbnb and VRBO for homes that have nice landscaping/pretty view/etc. if you want something smaller. Much more affordable than renting a traditional venue! Just check with the owner first to make sure you won't be violating any of their policies with number of guests and whatnot.

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  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
    • Flag
    I always wanted a smaller wedding than I ended up having but all in all I wouldn’t change anything because I’m happy I got to celebrate with so many people. However I do see what your cousin means aha because weddings are so expensive you could go on a ton of nice honeymoons with that $ spent. But also you don’t need some big fancy elaborate celebration either it could be simple too.
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  • H
    Beginner June 2022
    Heather ·
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    Okay that’s smart... and different I never thought of that!! Thank you
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  • Breann
    Devoted June 2020
    Breann ·
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    Of course! Good luckSmiley smile

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  • H
    Beginner June 2022
    Heather ·
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    Lol he is so serious!! Lol we are super close but I know what you mean. I appreciate everything.
    You guys have open my eyes to different options.
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