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Sylvia
Dedicated August 2019

Decision Time: Hypenated? Two Last Names? or Maiden Name?

Sylvia, on May 7, 2019 at 2:11 AM Posted in Married Life 0 123
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So.....I'm trying to decide which way to go with my legal last name after we're married and then I thought... Hey! Let me ask how others are making this decision. Smiley laugh


So...please share which choice you are making and why. Any pros and cons you've considered.. Etc.


Thanks in advance! Smiley ring



123 Comments

Latest activity by Sylvia, on May 14, 2019 at 10:57 PM
  • N
    Expert July 2019
    Natalie ·
    • Flag
    I’m on the same boat!! I can’t decided if I want 2 last names, 1 long hyphenated last name, just keep my maiden, or create a new last name together! So frustrating
    • Reply
  • Rockie
    Devoted June 2019
    Rockie ·
    • Flag
    I am taking on his last name as a second middle name. And I am really only doing that Incase we decide to have kids one day. I am keeping my last name because in 2 years I will have Dr. in front of it and I am the first person in my family to accomplish that. Keeping my last name lets me share that accomplishment with my parents who I owe so much of it to and since I was a little girl I told them I would be the first Dr. (Insert last name). Plus I just like my last name better (oops). It’s also a benefit because I assume socially people will call me by FH last name and it will be a nice way to separate work and personal life.
    • Reply
  • C
    Just Said Yes October 2015
    caprileigh ·
    • Flag

    My dad passed away 10 years ago, so I knew when I was getting married a few years ago that I didn't want to lose my maiden name. I did also want to take my husband's name, but not deal with the issues with a double-barrelled or hyphenated last name that I had read about. So, I legally changed my name to move my maiden name to my second middle name and take my husband's last name as my last name, and have been super happy with my choice ever since.

    • Reply
  • M
    Beginner November 2020
    Melissa ·
    • Flag
    I will probably hyphenate mibe, That way its easier for document transitions afterwards, and I still share a last name with my kids (prior to he and I marrying). I havent decided for sure yet, but thats what I'm thinking
    • Reply
  • Angerra
    VIP August 2019
    Angerra ·
    • Flag
    I will hyphenate. I really don't want to get rid of my last name and I don't understand moving it to my middle name (sounds the same as hyphenating).
    • Reply
  • Sandicomm
    Dedicated May 2019
    Sandicomm ·
    • Flag
    I really like my last name so I am going to change it to be a second middle name. That way it’s still legally my name but fiancé is happy. So I will be Cecilia Michelle C—— Z—-
    • Reply
  • T
    Dedicated March 2020
    Tamsin ·
    • Flag
    I never thought that I would change my surname. I like my name, it is part of who I am. My mother never changed her name so the arguments about children and different names doesn’t hold for me because I have always been in that situation.
    FH is in a career where he can’t change his name, or rather people tend not to because it causes issues, so he wasn’t in a situation where him changing was a viable option.
    Our names don’t go well together, if they did we would have seriously considered both double barrelling, but they don’t work. (If we hyphenated we both would have not just me- I don’t like the idea of it just being me changing)

    So we are both keeping our names exactly how they are. We plan on having children and will cross the bridge with their names when we come to it.

    I don't think it is something you can make a logical decision about, more a decision with your gut.
    I know people who have kept one name legally but socially use another. People who have changed their names after years and people who never have
    • Reply
  • Cynthia's and Robert  Wedding Day
    VIP September 2020
    Cynthia's and Robert Wedding Day ·
    • Flag
    I will be a B----- for life!!!!! therefore I will be hyphenating.
    • Reply
  • S
    Devoted May 2019
    Sarah ·
    • Flag
    I'm taking my FH's last name, no hyphenating, no putting my last name as a middle name. I was very reserved at first, because I've been Sarah C... my entire 27 years on earth. BUT it was important to my FH, so I made the decision to take his last name, but I'll always be Sarah C... at heartSmiley smile
    • Reply
  • Lizbeth
    Devoted May 2020
    Lizbeth ·
    • Flag

    It is a blessing i am Hispanic and i do not take any last names hehehehehehe.

    • Reply
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
    • Flag

    I will be taking my FW's last name. My last name is Smith so extremely common, and I don't have a relationship with my father so I have no attachment to the name. As a same sex couple, it also feels like a right of passage of sorts to take my FW's last name since just a few years ago we couldn't even get married. We also think it will be nice to share a family name with our future children since, unfortunately, we can't both share a biological bond with them. We hope that it will encourage people to see us as one family instead of my children or her children.

    • Reply
  • Just Said Yes April 2020
    ·
    • Flag
    For those choosing to hyphenate just a bit of information for you. Pharmacies and doctor’s offices generally have limited characters in there data bases. So, your 16 letter hyphenated name gets cut down to say 10. Therefore you end up getting called by the first half of the name. ( since the second name is cut off.

    Everyone has there own reasons for their choice. There is no right or wrong answer just what is right for you. Good luck to all.
    • Reply
  • Tara
    Master May 2020
    Tara ·
    • Flag
    I’m keeping my maiden name. Pros: I don’t have to legally change anything (I.e. ss card, driver’s license, work badge, work email address, bank info, records and benefits)! Whew!
    I also don’t have to change any of my degrees with a new name. I get to carry on my family’s name.
    Cons: people are very judgemental and will sometimes say crazy things like, “you don’t really love your husband.” Or “I can’t believe you broke tradition.”

    I simply reply, “I SHOW him my love by my actions, more than any name change can do and slavery was tradition as well, tradition isn’t always the right way.”
    • Reply
  • Tara
    Master May 2020
    Tara ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    I agree! I used to live in Ecuador and I loved how the babies received two last names that never changed regardless of marriage. Keeps both sides of ancestry being passed down.
    • Reply
  • Lizbeth
    Devoted May 2020
    Lizbeth ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Yes!!! I really love that of my culture, also makes it easy to not have to change my last name on everything lol

    • Reply
  • SummerBrideInAutumn
    VIP October 2019
    SummerBrideInAutumn ·
    • Flag
    I’ll have 2 last names. Giving up my maiden name wasn’t an option but FH kinda wanted me to share a name with him and I don’t mind (as long as I can keep my maiden!)

    I decided against hyphenating because even though both last names are only 6 letters, I think it’s too clunky. Plus, you are legally obligated to use that full hyphenated name on everything.

    I didn't want to move move my maiden name to my middle name because I love my middle name and didn’t want to give it up either. I didn’t want to make my maiden name a second middle name, because to me, that’s almost like giving it up completely. How many people actually know your middle name and how often do you actually use it?

    So that left me with taking 2 separate last names. It’s the best of both worlds for me. I get both names but I have more freedom and more options with it than if I hyphenated.
    • Reply
  • SummerBrideInAutumn
    VIP October 2019
    SummerBrideInAutumn ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Hispanic culture actually helped me make my decision to take 2 last names. My FH works in Mexico 2 weeks out of every month so he is very accustomed to double last names. He’s so used to it that he was the one who encouraged me to go this route. We talked through the complications it sometimes causes at work (with American coworkers who don’t understand or just with categorizing/alphabetizing in general) but the pros definitely outweigh any cons.
    • Reply
  • Christine
    Dedicated October 2019
    Christine ·
    • Flag
    I am taking my FHs last name. If I combined the two names it would be really long and I don’t feel like saying /writing it out lol 🤷‍♀️
    • Reply
  • F
    Devoted June 2019
    F ·
    • Flag
    I’m planning to hyphenate my last name. Professionally, I have a lot of things connected to my name so I don’t want to drop it and I want to use my FH name as well.
    • Reply
  • Iva
    Super September 2019
    Iva ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Yes to that reply 👏
    And honestly I wouldn’t even bother explaining how I love my FH to people who still live in 18th century & judge a woman’s personal choice based on antiquated traditions lol
    • Reply

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