Deciding on venue

Unfortunately, that’s just a risk you take with destination weddings. There is really no way to tell exactly how many people are going to show up beforehand. Even if you asked every single guest now whether they plan to attend or not, it could still change drastically by your wedding date. People tend to be really excited about a destination wedding when it’s first mentioned, but once the reality sets in (Time off work, travel time, the huge expense involved, etc.) many of those people who were initially so excited, end up backing out. Plus you can’t always predict life that far out- there could be births, deaths, illnesses, changes in jobs or financial situations. So when it comes to destination weddings, you are facing a lot of unknowns and can potentially lose out on a lot of money. We are planning a DW also, and have just had to plan as though every guest invited will accept the invitation and attend (even though I am sure there will be declines).

I believe you should keep looking for other venues that would work if you had 50 guests or 100 guests that would feel appropriate and work for your budget. I think it’s easier when the venue and cater is same together because they have more late flexibility with declaring how many guests. Which will save you money knowing who has already booked the plane and hotel. Plus don’t be discouraged you would be surprised how many will go from IL and WI. If it’s really important for you to have these out of state guests then You will have better chances if you plan your date following a holiday like veteran’s day since it would become a 3 day weekend and easier with travel time. Once you have your venue then send out save the date invites then later the official invitation requiring an rsvp. Don’t be shy to reconfirm with out of state guests about their rvsp if they indicate attending. These tips help a lot because I recently went to a college friend wedding from IL to NM and 10 other college friends also went and they were out of state too!

View Quoted Comment Yeah it’s really a lot of unknowns which is scary for sure! 😫

View Quoted Comment Okay. Thank you for the advice this is a hard one for sure. A little discouraging but I’m sure it’ll all work out. I’ll keep looking at multiple venues just in case less come and we don’t need as much of a venue.

View Quoted Comment It really is! This used to drive me crazy when I first started planning. Now that we are a couple years into it, I have just accepted it for what it is and I’m rolling with it lol We just narrowed our guest list down to our absolute must haves, and found a venue to accommodate all of them. Yes, there’s a chance only 10 people will end up showing up, and we will have wasted a lot of money on a venue we didn’t need. But, unfortunately, there’s just no definitive way to know how many people are going to accept or decline. And how terrible would it be to get a venue that’s too small?! At that point you would either have to lose out on the money from the small venue and spend even more trying to scramble to get a larger one, or you would have to uninvite guests! FH and I are convinced that no matter which option we chose, it would go the opposite way lol If we get a large venue, we will probably have a small turnout. If we get a small venue, we will probably get a 100% acceptance rate and won’t be able to accommodate everyone 🤦🏼‍♀️ So we just found a venue that fits every single person we invited, and we are hoping for the best! 🤞🏻

View Quoted Comment

Yeah its hard to decide what to do exactly. For save the date we'll send those out as soon as we get a venue booked. And then how far in advance should we send the actual rsvp invitations?

View Quoted Comment We sent out our STDs a year in advance, to make sure guests had enough time to request off from work, save money, book accommodations, etc. Typically it is recommended to send out invitations about 6-8 weeks before a non-destination wedding, so we are going to send ours a bit earlier; probably 10-12 weeks.

View Quoted Comment Thank you. Perfect.

View Quoted Comment I’m sorry, i didn’t want to be discouraging! I hope you’re planning while thinking of ur future husband and you. The most important is ur matrimony and what you guys want! definitely book what you want and considering ur budget. I’m definitely not planning my wedding based on what the guests prefer. But I will like to get a confirmation and commitment on it early in advance. So definitely send invitations asap when decided on venue . Like I decided mines to be in historic museum / library and not changing it no matter my guest list. and maybe consider talking to them about it right now to the relatives so you can have an honest perspective. Best wishes

I'm super late to this but I would say pick the one that you actually picture your wedding in! Whichever venue that you simply cannot get out of your head should be the one. I hope this helps! Wedding planning is super scary but it will all work out in the end