Debunking the "bridezilla" stigma

I don’t agree with this, I don’t think vendors are intentionally trying to make you crack. I do agree that the cost of wedding is utterly ridiculous. But as long as people keep feeding it, it will continue to grow.


I haven’t run into “wedding packages” you are talking about with any of my vendors. I’m sorry you had a bad experience.

I agree with AJ, I don't think vendors do this intentionally, and if there are some that you've experienced that do this and have lied to you about their packages and prices, you DEF. need to leave a review so future brides know this.

I haven't had any of the experiences you've talked about, and my vendors have been really helpful and actually HELPED me SAVE money with them. So I'm sorry you've had a bad experience, but please know that the majority of vendors are really nice and care about their clients.

I also don’t agree with this. I think it’s a mindset thing. You say it’s a burden that vendors are bundling their services, but in reality that’s an amazing thing that they do. You have to find the vendors that fit into the puzzle of what you need and if one vendor can fit more than one puzzle piece, it saves you the trouble of having to find even more vendors. I think it’s a blessing that they offer multiple services. Less work I have to do to find more. And yes having a wedding is super expensive but there are cheaper alternatives. You do what works best for your budget. How would you feel if someone came to your shop and told you your services weren’t worth what you were asking for? That’s the definition of a bridezilla Karen.

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I love this!

As someone that worked in the industry, for the most part vendors start offering their services as a bundled package because so many people come to them needing those things.

Now, if you're a florist with a package including tables and chairs and I tell you I already have those and all I want is flowers but keep insisting that you can't do that then that's not a very good company to start with.

My venue offered a wedding package for our brides that included the space, tables, chairs (we did the set-up), we had a couple of other things that we included too but when brides would tell us they didn't want those and expected money to get taken off it just didn't really work. Like, those were nice things we were throwing in for you. The price was still the price because it's our time and effort we're putting in.

To OP, I'm sorry you seemed to have vendors that didn't work out for you, but like the Bride2Be said, it's a puzzle game a little. You start with the venue and fill the missing pieces in. If a vendor doesn't fit/offer what you need/can't compromise on their packages you find a different piece that will fit.

I'm a little triggered by the musician thing especially ( I am one and my fiance is a stellar pianist and does lots of weddings). Most musicians spend yearssss mastering their instrument. Not to mention the many degrees and extensive training. Wedding music at it's core is pretty basic and most people aren't unique in their selections.


Overall I don't think most vendors are trying to make you look like a Bridezilla. No one thinks someone's a Bridezilla if they don't want to pay extra for extra services. Bridezillas are people who ask their wedding party to dye their hair and things like that

View Quoted Comment I agree with this 100%. Also to add there are brides out there who are the definition of a bridezilla to a T. Bridezilla is a real thing that unfortunately friends and family members have to deal with more than you know. Brides who are extremely demanding to the point where they bulldoze over any loved one that gets in their way. Brides who discriminate against their bridesmaids because they don't look a certain way and demand they change who they are to fit a ridiculous mold the bride made for her bridesmaids. There are some pretty terrible people who put their loved ones through hell for their wedding.

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I had my ceremony musician decide that he wants $1800 instead of $200 to play my wedding only ten days before my wedding date. I booked the musician and gave him the set list 15 months ago. In an honest world, the musician would have been upfront about his pricing when I booked him and not when I have no options so close to my wedding date. As for the special music? I requested the wedding march and Canon in D. These songs he cannot play. I thought wedding music was pretty standard too, but whatever. In an honest world, the musician would have said over a year ago that he can't play basic wedding music.

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When I started wedding planning, I thought my wedding planner was great and I eagerly signed up for all of her preferred vendors. Give it time. The wedding industry is evil and will destroy your soul.

View Quoted Comment Sounds like you didn't get a good musician then. Those are the most played wedding songs. We are having an amazing professional pianist play our ceremony and he is charging $250.

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Negative reviews don't matter. wedding wire and theknot remove negative reviews. All of my vendors who are terrible have plenty of accolades and hundreds of 5 star reviews. My terrible experience is just a drop in the bucket, and to go back to the purpose of the post, I'm portrayed as the "crazy bridezilla", not them.

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Negative reviews DO matter. They helped me a lot while I was researching our vendors. I can't say anything about WW or TheKnot because I don't use them as outlets to search for vendors, but I would highly suggest that people use Google search and look through reviews there because the vendors I decided against DID have negative reviews on Google.

Like I, as well as other posters on here have said, I'm sorry you've had a bad experience, but it honestly just sounds like you should've kept searching for vendors. I just didn't appreciate your original post condemning vendors, and saying they make brides out to be bridezillas. I have amazing vendors that have made me feel more than comfortable with every decision that I've made with them. Are there brides that turn into bridezillas and can be extremely demanding and have out of this world expectations for their vendors and family/friends? Yes. But I don't necessarily think that vendors are out to portray brides as such, or push them to become one.

View Quoted Comment If your wedding planner helped you find a whole bunch of vendors that didn’t actually do for you what they should have, you should include that in your review of your wedding planner. I’ve been married twice and thrown big weddings for both and I’ve never had vendor experiences like what you’re describing in your initial post or in your subsequent comments. All my vendors worked with me on customizing what I needed from them and what my budget was. Every vendor I hired stuck with our contracted prices and gave me everything I paid for.

I'm sorry you feel like you have been called a bridezilla unfairly, but this is such a ridiculously unfounded, over the top sentiment: "There's so much loaded into the stereotype of being a "bridezilla" that the wedding industry and wedding vendors feed into it to try and get you to crack. I just want to tell you that you are not the crazy ones. They are just trying to make you feel crazy."

I feel like one of the biggest places people go wrong when they set out to plan their wedding is that most people have never planned a large event (including knowing how to set a realistic budget) and hired vendors before. So, contracts get misunderstood, the wrong choices get made, the budget snowballs out of control, and it's all so emotionally fraught, that (I guess) it can start to feel like the whole world is against you.

I promise there's not a wedding industry conspiracy to try to ruin your wedding day. I sincerely hope you can survive the planning period and arrive at your wedding day ready to celebrate the whole reason you are going through this: getting married to your partner.

View Quoted Comment It sounds like you just trusted the wrong people. And if you don't have things in writing then they can easily change their prices on you, it's not right but it happens. I have had not one single problem with the wedding industry. I'm very happy with the services I have. Yes it's expensive but at the end of the day it is only going to get more expensive because of the high demand in the wedding industry.

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Thank you for perspective, Maggie. I get what you're saying. I wrote this comment because I thought others might be in a similar situation. Apparently it's just me who trusted the wrong people. I contracted a wedding planner who then led me to book with several of her "preferred vendors". I'm having a destination wedding, so really didn't have any concept of cost for my area and luckily budget isn't a issue for me. All of it has been a nightmare. This is my only time planning a wedding, so I thought this is what happens when someone books a wedding planner. Apparently not. Apparently everyone else (at least those who have responded) have wonderful vendors. I'm so happy for you all and your wonderful experiences. My wedding planner and her team of vendors has made this a nightmare for me with additional stress that is not necessary. I thought someone else was maybe in this boat, but I guess it's just me trusting the wrong reviews and hiring the wrong team.

My wedding planner has criticized and berrated me for not chosing her preferred florist, but her preferred vendor wanted fake flowers at my wedding. I wanted real ones. I was told that I was being unreasonable for wanting real flowers as they will wilt in the summer heat. I found a florist who will make bouquets of tropical, heat-resistant flowers for my wedding. My wedding planner refused to talk to me for 2 months after I booked the other florist and still has not coordinated with my new vendor. Am I being a bridezilla for wanting real flowers at my wedding during the summer? Does the wedding planner know best and I will rue not choosing fake flowers on my wedding day? Time will tell. You're right that it's tough to navigate the wedding world for a big event and to plan for all possible circumstances. But yes, I feel like my wedding planner and the vendors that I have booked with her have been terrible.

View Quoted Comment You are not being a bridezilla. But definitely hired a horrible wedding planner. Trust me they aren't all like that. If I was you I'd probably fire them all and start from scratch even if my wedding was close. You can still make things happen in a short amount of time in the wedding world.

View Quoted Comment I totally agree with you. My wedding is a month away and my florist just told me to find another florist when I complained about the sample two weeks ago. Some of the flowers just died within a couple of hours and it turned out that flowers were actually reused. They have 4.9 out of 60 reviews on WW. So negative reviews don't matter. I finally became the bridezilla because of this crooked industry.