Death and a Wedding

I am so sorry to hear about your grandmother and her current health status. I do not have any advice. I hope it can workout in the best way possible for you all.

I’m so sorry. I think it’s a personal/family decision. Your grandmother probably would want you to continue with your plans.

Honestly I would talk to your mom and see what she would like you to do. It’s all going to depend on timing too obviously

As someone who narrowly escaped this, I bet your grandmother will want you you go ahead with plans. The thing is, she may live, she may not. I am not trying to be crass or insensitive, that is the reality. You should talk to your parents and see how they feel as well.

My wedding is also in 33 days!

So sorry about your situation, it's a tough one. My FH grandma just passed away last week. She was also in bad health and we weren't sure what to do. After talking to some family, we decided to keep our date and we were hoping that she could be there to share our special day with her. Since she passed, we decided to do a small dedication to her at our reception. But since your grandma is not able to come to the wedding, maybe you could give her your bouquet after the ceremony?

Oh boy that is a tough one. I agree with everyone else - you should talk to your FH and family and see what their feels are. I know if it were my grandmother she would want me to keep planning and have my day as normal, but you have to do what you feel is best.

I'm sorry. I would talk to your family and may also consider talking to her doctors to see why she is declining and what they expect, not that doctors are great at predicting but for instance if she now needs oxygen that isnt as severe as she stopped eating and drinking a week ago.

I'm sorry to hear this. It sounds like you consider her dear. But your grandmother will probably tell you herself that the wedding should not be affected by this and you should just party a little extra for her.

Our Aunt died very close to my sisters wedding. She continued on with wedding and donated the wedding flowers to the funeral. Family is family, you will all grieve together & celebrate together. Sorry about your Gram, praying for comfort for you all.

My MOH lost her grandmother the day before her wedding. It went ahead as planned. The grandmother had been in hospice so they knew it was likely to happen soon. I’m sorry to hear about your grandmother. I’d recommend talking to your family and see what they prefer, but I’d recommend going ahead as planned.

So sorry for your situation....the decision is truly for you your fiance to decide!...then, I'm sure your families will understand.

I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. Talk to your family about it. It seems like she is very well loved by many people, and not knowing how much longer she has must be very difficult.

I'm so sorry to hear about your grandma. One of my best friends recommended a book to me when I got engaged and it had a section on loved ones passing before a wedding. The one takeaway I remember from that section was how weddings bring so much happiness and joy, oftentimes it's exactly what we need in times of grief -- to be witness to love and hope.

I think the best thing to do would be to discuss the "what if's" with your family and have tentative plans of action set up. My Grandfather passed away suddenly of a heart attack a few days before my uncle's wedding. They were going to postpone the wedding, but my Grandmother was the one who brought up a good point. She said that whether they got married on the planned day, or a few months from then, that nothing would bring him back and nothing would take the sting out of him not being there. But by them going ahead with the wedding as planned, it would bring some joy to a time that otherwise would just be a time of sorrow and mourning. They went ahead with the wedding as planned and had the funeral services 2 days later. I do know that they never regretted it and they did set up a photo of him with a lit candle at the wedding. It is a very personal decision though and you have to do what is best for you and your family. I am so sorry to hear of her illness and I hope she and you all find some comfort and peace in this terrible time. Prayers for you and yours.

I am sorry for your situation. Go through with your wedding. Often such happy events happen with sad ones following our close to them. Honor your grandmother, cry and celebrate at your wedding.

I'm really sorry to hear about your grandma. I would suggest talking with your mom for her opinion but I'm sure your grandma wouldn't want you to cancel your wedding. Plus, from past experience, I had a family member pass away close to my cousins wedding and of course the timing is never good when it comes to death but it was a nice celebration and distraction for us.

Laci, so sorry to hear about your grandma. I'm in the same boat but the worst did happen, however my wedding is still a bit longer away so people have some time to mourn/recover. The same thing happened to my cousin as well where her FIL passed away 2 months before the wedding. They decided to go ahead with theirs because they knew he would have wanted that and they found lots of ways to include him in the ceremony. We will be doing the same with my grandma.

Talk to your family and see how they feel since everyone deals with loss differently. Weddings require a lot of emotional labour invested in them without all these other additions, sorry this is happening.

Thank you all for the responses. I have talked to one of my sisters and my Matron of Honor since I posted this and they both think we should move along with the wedding as planned. If anything, maybe it’ll help people to feel a little joy during this time.

I am so sorry you are going through this. I lost my grandmother a few days before my wedding, and I don't wish that experience on anyone else. We proceeded with the wedding. I very much appreciated when my cousin had a chat with me the next day, telling me that our grandmother had so many blessings come from her life, and my wedding to my now husband was evidence of one of those blessings. She wanted me to know that she and her family were showing up that weekend ready to celebrate. My whole extended family had that attitude, and I was assured that our grandmother would have wanted me to continue with the plans to get married that weekend and enjoy it. I have to say, it was really nice having my family all together that weekend and I feel like by continuing with our plans, we truly did honor my grandmother.

I hope, though, that it will not come to this for you.

I am so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Hopefully she will make it until your wedding and beyond. I suggest continuing your wedding plans, being sure to take some time out to visit your grandmother, and being respectful of your family and their emotions (as always, but especially with this situation). I would be sure to incorporate a way to commemorate her if she passes before the wedding, or be sure to find a way to honor her if she gets better but still cannot come.

Praying for you, your grandmother, and your family! Hope I was able to offer some advice.