Dealing with planning..feeling left out

So, i am my sister's MOH. She is 10 years younger than me..i need to also add that my sister and all her friends and our families like to party. I quit drinking 5 years ago.i am an alcoholic. There are many parties being thrown for this wedding. I assumed i would plan the bacholorette party and i am already involved with one of the showers. We are from one area (where wedding will be) and we live in the same area in another town. I asked if she wanted a bacholorette party. Yes, because a couple of bridesmaids are already planning a destination bach party. She said it would be expensive so i do not have to plan that. I am a restaurant server and drank for many years so i am behind most of my peers financially. Then she said her friend had an older sister and she didnt even go. I suggested me throwing a small tea a couple of days before. She nixed that. And her bridesmaids throwing the shower with me here, have just taken over. I think my sobriety and financial situation have a lot to do with it. But, i am not a pauper...i was planning on shelling out a good amount. Several thousand. I found myself crying a little. Our mother died years ago and my mother had some mental issues and substance probs so i stepped in and helped raise her. I know it is her day but i am struggling with wanting to do more and feeling a little left out. I am also engaged and will.be getting married next year. Anyone else going through anything else like this. Another issue which contributes to my involvement is the fact that all her friends work 9 to 5 jobs. As a restaurant worker, my weekends are my busiest times and i am a lead server so i do not get as much time off. The other girls are off and i have to take off so....i need some perspective!!