Dating a Married Man

Nope. Everyone knows that dating a married person is morally frowned upon. There’s no need for me to stick my nose in their business.

I agree with Caytlyn. If one of my friends is dating someone they know is married, chances are they already know it’s wrong and either don’t care or think their situation is the exception. Other people’s relationships aren’t my problem.

Not my circus, not my monkeys. I don't need to get involved in my friend's relationships.

If I knew 100% that they didn’t know he was married I would mention it. I’m not going to judge though. Everyone has their moral slip-ups.

Oh I'd def say something !! I hate cheating but also, I'd want my friend to hopefully realize she deserves someone who is all in for her and not still attached to someone else that he's willingly cheating on and made promises/vows to. Even if they'd be cool with being a sidepiece, I'd just want to always remind them that they're worth way more than beingggggg someone's sidepiece.

Not my circus, not my monkeys. Do we know for a fact that the married person isn't currently separated or in the middle of divorce proceedings? Those can take a long time. My parent's divorce took over a year and they were separated for at least 6 months prior to that.

"Let her know"? Either she already knows, or she disagrees. In neither case would anything I could say be likely to change what she's doing.

The only time I'd say anything would be if I knew he was married, and she didn't.

View Quoted Comment

Good point.

View Quoted Comment

I understand.

View Quoted Comment

I smiled when reading your response because my close friend always uses that phrase and that would be her exact response if I asked her this discussion question.

View Quoted Comment

I don't know, as a married woman, I would kind of judge. I agree that everyone has their moral slip-ups but it would make me feel awkward. I would at least want to have a conversation about it.

View Quoted Comment

👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

View Quoted Comment

This is a hypothetical situation, however, I would want to speak to my friend to find out some of those details.

View Quoted Comment

Very good point.

View Quoted Comment Marriage, to me, is merely a social institution. My choosing to be in the institution does not make me the judge of how others play out their relationships. Being married doesn’t mean I get to judge my friend for cheating, if they are.

Also it not up to me. Idk if they have an open marriage, are in a consensual spouse-sharing, or he is cheating. I’m not going to judge or investigate. My friend doesn’t judge me for breaking other social rules/societal rules. I’m not going judge them for their choices.

I know others did and won’t agree with me. That’s fine. You tend to make discussions that bring up different points of view and I know this opinion may be unpopular.

View Quoted Comment

I completely understand your perspective. I love hearing everyone's thoughts. I may not always agree but it does push my thinking and make me see things in a way that I may not have considered before. So thank you for that

I would say something. It's my friend, not my acquaintance. I expect my friends to keep me in check when I'm being a dumbo and I'm sure they expect the same of me - If I know it's wrong then I'm sure everyone around her knows it too and that's even more of a reason to try to talk to her because I don't want people to have bad opinions about someone that's close to me. If she isn't receptive of what I'm trying to say then I would back off, but any time the subject comes up I would still be sure to give my honest opinion. Not saying anything about something you don't agree with is the same as agreeing with it, sorry.

View Quoted Comment Hmmmm...great point in your last sentence

View Quoted Comment I totally agree.

I would say something to my friend, and I would want a friend to say something to me. Dating a married man is wrong. Good friends hold their friends accountable and help them to grow. My closest friendships are with people who have point-blank told me at times "you are doing the wrong thing. You need to do better."

I think you should express your concerns about your friends actions, focusing especially on the possibility that she could get hurt, but also that she could be hurting another woman and another family (not sure if kids are involved). If she gets upset with you, oh well. If the friendship becomes strained, I actually think that could be a wake-up call for her.

I have had some friends get into really bad personal situations, and their friends saying something and even distancing the friendship over it really pushed them to wake up and turn things around.

At the very least, if you don't approve of her behavior, you should let her know that you do not want to discuss the relationship with her because you are uncomfortable with it. I had a similar situation with a friend, and I refused to go on a "double date" with her and the man, to meet him in any capacity, to talk about their relationship. I was only willing to discuss my concerns with him. We remained friends, but we didn't have "girl talk" about her really out-of-line relationship.