Dad's sick, do i postpone?

Rebecca, I’m so sorry to hear this news about your father. My heart goes out to you and your family. I can’t even imagine. I would suggest waiting until the results come back before making any big wedding date decisions. One thing to consider is keeping the date to ensure your father can be present as I’m sure he wants to be there and if his health allows. I pray your dad’s health improves and the tumor can be removed. Sending love to you during this time ❤️

I definitely would not postpone. It sounds harsh but the longer you wait, the higher the chances your father won't be able to make it. In these situations it's better to move the wedding forward, not back. But since it's only in a month, I would keep your date. Perhaps you can hire someone to look after your dad for the day if he needs a wheelchair or something like that.

I’m praying for your family and your father. I’d definitely keep my date as planned. You don’t want to postpone and then God forbid his condition worsens. I know he wants to be there for you.

I am so sorry for you and your family. That is really hard.

I would definitely wait for the results to come back before making any decisions. I would probably not postpone. Postponing will likely cost lots of money and you don't know what the future will hold. Once you know more and if more treatment and procedures are needed in the coming weeks I would see if doctors think if he is able to be at your wedding. If that can't made possible, I would consider postponing.

I understand that you did not imagine the last few weeks before the wedding to be filled with worry about your dad's health. But depending on your venue and vendors you probably can't just postpone a few weeks or be super flexible and spontaneous. You can't know at this point what your dad's health is like in a few months or a year. If you can I would follow through with your wedding plans now even it's so different than what you imagined.

I wish you and your family lots of strength and wisdom and quick recovery for your dad.

I’m so sorry, I really feel for you! My MIL was sick and passed away last year prior to our wedding. We had a commitment ceremony with her and my husband’s immediate family so she could be apart of it. IDK if that’s possible to have something intimate for just your dad if he cannot be there in person for the big day. You’ll figure something out and no, you are not being selfish. By posting and sharing this it shows you are being very thoughtful.

View Quoted Comment I was thinking the exact same thing. I would stick to the original plan. Sending lots of prayers your way!! ❤️

UPDATE: Dad and Mom said under no circumstances should I postpone my wedding. Dad said if he has to walk me down the aisle in an amigo he will. I love my parents. ❤

My heart is with you, Rebecca.

I would like to share my experience, simply so you know where I'm coming from: my dad had end-stage kidney disease (complete kidney failure requiring dialysis) in the final decade of his life, and then he had colon cancer that had metastasized to his liver (and the liver tumor could not be removed). The cancer was diagnosed in 2016. He died last spring. Every day of that three years was one we were not promised.

Keep your original plan. Do not postpone. Postponing decreases the likelihood he will be able to attend.

I am not diagnosing in any way, but if your father ultimately requires dialysis (for the kidneys), this is not the end of the world. Dialysis is easily managed. And if he does have cancer, whether he chooses treatment or not (my dad didn't), there are options available to make him comfortable.

Wait for the doctors' opinions. Then, have an honest discussion with your dad. I am confident that he wants to be there as much as you want him to be there, and while his health is at the forefront, I promise you... so is your wedding. When people are faced with these health crises, their thoughts include all of the things they will miss out on. Making it known to him how much you cherish his attendance will not come across as selfish. He wants to be there.

Once you know what you are dealing with, you can discuss if any measures are necessary to make him comfortable when he attends. Nearly all (if not indeed all) vendors will be able to accommodate what he needs (walker, wheelchair, oxygen, etc.), if anything. One month may seem like a long time, especially with something so massive now looming over you, but it really isn't - he may still be in relatively fine condition and may not need any accommodations at all. Just know that you have options if he does.

I am so sorry you are dealing with such terrible news before your wedding. Much love to you.

Many prayers for you and your family! Celebrating through grief is so hard, but I agree with other comments, for now keep your date, hopefully he will feel well enough to attend! I saw someone do a photo shoot with her grandmother in her wedding dress because they knew she wouldn’t be at the wedding, and the bride kept those pictures a secret until the wedding day. Maybe that is an option if he has to stay in the hospital?