I had previously posted about my reasons for wanting to relieve my bridesmaids of their duties and I officially did it. There is no resentment on my part and if anything I feel relieved. Long story short, one was too far to be part of anything and with the other two, I felt I had outgrown the friendships. The one that is too far away, I kept her as my "unofficial" bridesmaid and is going with me and two other friends on a bachelorette weekend trip. The other two, I have slowly removed myself from their lives. I do love them and care for them but besides the wedding, they have never made any effort to be part of my life. I am consistently the one reaching out, making plans, starting conversations etc. I am only sought out when their "fun" friends cut them off or they need their older (me) friend's shoulder to cry on. I can't say I'm not a little sad but I am mainly relieved and at peace.
My immediate family will not be at my wedding. They are extremely religious and do not approve of my marrying a transman. I can't say I'm not disappointed and hurt by them but the closer my wedding gets, the more I accept it. I love them, I want nothing more than for them to love me unconditionally back and for them to love the love of my life. I cannot, however, force people to change who they are. I can only live my life unapologetically. I can respect their beliefs and respect myself as well. I do not have to disturb my peace or happiness by trying to keep everyone else happy. I am starting a new chapter in my life and I look forward to it.
I guess what I'm getting at is, it's okay to let go of those that are no longer being a part of our happiness nor peace. We can love people and we can also let them go. Moving on doesn't always have to be painful, it can be healing and liberating. I wish you all the best vibes and healing if you also feel yourself in similar circumstances. You got this!
