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Beginner October 2021

Cutting “family” off the guest list

Carlie, on August 18, 2020 at 4:00 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 8

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Hi! I am having SUCH a hard time cutting my guest list down. We are doing close family and friends which ends up being 120-130 people (we have big families). I have cousins and aunts that I only talk to a few times a year and I’m just not sure if I want to invite them or not. We are friends on Facebook but don’t go out of our way to talk to each other other than holidays and even then I consider it awkward. We just don’t talk like normal. They are taking up a lot of space on the list and I’m just not sure if it’s worth it 😩 do I invite them to be nice and save the headache or do I just cross them off and forget it?? I feel like it will take more energy to have conflict than to just suck it up and invite them.

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8 Comments

Latest activity by Mrs. Spring, on August 19, 2020 at 1:17 PM

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Judith · on August 18, 2020 at 4:10 PM
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Have them to dinner or a cookout, once you are married, or invite them to something celebrating your mom or dad, like all Dad's sibs and their kids to his birthday, with your bros and sisters. Keep up the family connection, talk and talk and share pictures. But at a 60-100 dollar a plate wedding, No.
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Master October 2020
Yasmine · on August 18, 2020 at 4:11 PM
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For me personally I’m not inviting anyone who my fiancé or I don’t talk to. We’ve both decided that we don’t want to pay that much per plate for people who we barely converse with. Would it save you a bunch of money? I assume it would.
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Super May 2021
Stacey · on August 18, 2020 at 4:15 PM
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If it helps, what you described is not "close family" A lot of people do limit their guest list to either immediate or close family, either because they want a small wedding or for budget reasons. If you've decided you only want close family to attend, as long as you apply that rule consistently for both families, you shouldn't feel guilty at all. People might be disappointed, but if it's what you want or what you can afford, they can get over it.
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Expert November 2020
Shirley · on August 18, 2020 at 5:34 PM
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If you draw lines between extended family (inviting some aunts, but not others), get ready for major drama, not only for you, but also for your parents. I'm not saying that you shouldn't cut them out, especially if you are paying for the wedding. I just think you should prepare for things to get ugly. It's easier if you can draw a line another way, like invite a cousin to be in your bridal party and that's why she's invited, or invite your aunt and uncle who happen to be your godparents, etc.
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Super September 2020
Leanne · on August 18, 2020 at 7:01 PM
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I understand, but I would suck it up and invite them. Since you will most likely see them a few times a year, it will save you the awkward conversations about how your wedding was.
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Beginner October 2021
Carlie · on August 18, 2020 at 7:03 PM
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Thank you! I am very worried about drama, unfortunately so I might just suck it up
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Legend March 2017
Pirate & 60s Bride · on August 18, 2020 at 7:59 PM
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I’d cut them. Not necessary to invite extended family members. You can always send a wedding pic later, or if asked why didn’t they get an invite say “we had a small wedding,” or “we had to cut our guest list for budget reasons” is a fine answer.
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Master April 2021
Mrs. Spring · on August 19, 2020 at 1:17 PM
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I personally would cut them. I do recommend you wait to post photos up of your wedding so feelings dont get hurt. Perhaps you could call several of those you had to cut first and explain you wanted an intimate affair or had to cut due to budget concerns, etc.
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