Cutting down guest list without offending friends

You have to bite the bullet at some point. Whoever you see as the close friendships you wish to continue into your marriage, invite.

If you haven't talked to them in 3 years you do not need to invite them and likely they are not expecting an invitation

I know how you feel! In my opinion, you should exclude them if you or your fiancé haven't been in close contact to them in a while. I went by how many times I've sat down and had an actual conversation with the person, or people, within the past year. That really helped me narrow it down.

Anyone that you want to have a relationship with going forward should get an invite. If you haven't spoken to them in 3 years, chances are that isn't going to suddenly reverse. So invite those you're close to and if people are offended, welp, it's not like you were hanging out with them on a regular basis anyway!

Only invite those friends that you have a personal relationship with.

The same thing happened with me where I'm inviting some friends, but not others and I know those other friends will be upset because they will hear all about the wedding from the friends we did invite. But I don't want to invite someone just so that they don't feel left out. This is my wedding and I only want special friends and family to be there.

We used the 1 year rule. If we haven't talked/seen within a year they were excluded from the list.

If you haven't talked to them in three years they don't get an invite. I would even go as far as to say that if you haven't talked to them for a year not to invite them. Our wedding is half your size and its been relatively easy to cut people out - we have a lot of "friends" but it boils down to who do you really want there to enjoy your day. We invited only immediate family and our close friends. With a small wedding, most people are understanding.

Invite those you are closest too - you aren't obligated to invite the other couple just because you'll see them at another friends wedding.

Three years? No. You'll see them at other weddings of people who are closer to them, and that is just fine. Weddings are expensive to host and to go to. Most people know this.

Exclude who you can, and if it comes up just explain that it's a small wedding. People usually understand.

I recently wasn't invited to a wedding a ton of our cycling group friends were going to -- not a big deal because we weren't super-duper besties with the bride and groom. It was weird that we were invited to the engagement party and got them a gift for that, and then several months later we discovered we were nixed when everyone got invites but us ... but sometimes budgets and size constraints come into play, so we understood. My FH and I saw the couple at one of our mutual friend's birthday celebration at a bar a few days before their wedding, and the groom of this wedding was really weird and wouldn't talk to my FH at all when they were at a table together (kept playing with his phone and giving one-word answers when he was trying to chat). Just don't do that -- still be nice and engage with these other friends if you're around them. Not getting an invite doesn't mean you're definitely NOT friends or at least nice acquaintances anymore. I overheard the bride actually say to the groom that he was being rude, and I was thankful for that. I'm sure the groom felt awkward that everyone at this birthday celebration was going to his wedding but me and my FH. I also think it's helpful to let the friends you ARE inviting know who you AREN'T inviting so that your wedding chit-chat can be kept to a minimum -- maybe if this groom gave a head's up to more people about this potential issue he would have felt better and loosened up a little.