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Beginner September 2021

Crazy future sister in law

Denise, on June 15, 2021 at 10:09 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 24
I’m getting married in less than a 100 days and one of my fiancé’s sisters has been reeking havoc . She has always been the type of person who needs the attention on herself no matter if it’s good or bad yelling threats tantrums you name it she’s done it. Won’t go into everything she’s done over the course of our 10 month engagement so here’s her latest complaint my sister in law on my side my brothers wife she’s also my maid of honor was trying to nail down a date for my bachelorette party she sent me a text asking if this date would work for me I said it would but she called up my future mother in law and was angry because since she didn’t get to have a big 40th birthday in February when her birthday was because of COVID nothing was open especially big party venues so she had been planning to do a half birthday party celebration at my MILs house since she has a nice yard and a pool but never said what date she only said August she didn’t have a specific date in mind but as soon as my maid of honor sent out the date in the group chat with the rest of the girls who are going she said she was having her half birthday that day which was news to me and everyone in her family so now I’m worried this going to make her act worse then ever my fiancé doesn’t even want her at the wedding cause she always makes a scene how do I deal with this?





24 Comments

Latest activity by Denise, on July 13, 2021 at 11:39 AM
  • mrswinteriscoming
    VIP December 2021
    mrswinteriscoming ·
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    In my experience, people like this will not listen to a voice of reason – their focus is on ‘me, me, me’ and nothing more. If your FSIL is acting out of line, you can ask your FH to speak to her, however, if it is less serious (but nonetheless annoying or dramatic behaviour), I would ignore it – if anything, she will be frustrated and annoyed by your lack of attention or response and will ‘drop it’ when she realises no one cares about her tantrums.

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  • E
    Savvy August 2021
    Esp ·
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    Don’t even engage just say it’s ok that she can’t come to the bachelorette no hard feeling .. & if she gets mad then just say it’s the only day available that works for YOU the bride. It’s not even her real birthday & you’re not going to get a bachelorette every year like she would a birthday so she can suck it up
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  • D
    Beginner September 2021
    Denise ·
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    Unfortunately ignoring this girl is easier said then done she can cause an extreme amount of chaos and my FH is pretty much done with her she texted him some very hurtful things so talking to her is not an option the only resolve is to basically like you said ignore her and not even acknowledge her at this point and maybe give the venue a heads up if she comes to the wedding they might need to have security there to make sure she’s handled and no that’s not an exaggeration that’s how bad it could get
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  • D
    Beginner September 2021
    Denise ·
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    That’s what my maid of honor and friends said. And honestly I would rather she not come but I’m not that lucky she might come and make a scene and ruin not only my party but my wedding she has a history of doing things like this even at my FH brothers wedding 8 years ago.
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  • E
    Savvy August 2021
    Esp ·
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    Do you have a wedding coordinator or day of coordinator? I would assign someone who’s not part of the family to be in charge of her the whole night. It could even just be a worker at your venue … If someone who is not part of the family asks her to please stop making a scene etc she will be most likely be mortified (unless she’s a complete psychopath).
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  • D
    Beginner September 2021
    Denise ·
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    Our coordinator from our venue will be on maternity leave by then so her manager will be handling the day so I’m going to give them a heads up but she is a psychopath so their are no guarantees unless their some big ass bouncer types that work their to handle her
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  • M
    VIP August 2021
    Michelle ·
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    Then have your FH tell his sister she's not invited and there will be security who will humiliate her should she try something. And hire and prepare this staff with her picture and directions. Don't play chicken with a psychopath, and trust you can foresee what his family refuses to acknowledge.
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  • Sarah
    Master September 2019
    Sarah ·
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    I’m sorry but why is she even invited to your bachelorette in the first place? It sounds like your FH is ready to set very necessary boundaries with his sister, so my advice is to follow his lead. If he doesn’t want her invited to the wedding, have his back and explain the issue to the venue. Hire security if needed.
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  • D
    Beginner September 2021
    Denise ·
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    Apparently it’s traditional to invite the sister or brothers in law to each other’s bachelorette bachelor party’s he invited two of my brothers one recently moved to Ohio and my FH party is a week before the wedding so he can’t fly in for both so I invited his two sisters they were happy about it then the date was announced and now it’s a mess. That and she thinks my FH is mean to her and demands he be nicer but that’s another story. I have already told him it’s his choice to not invite her to the wedding and I’d support him and warn the venue.
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  • D
    Beginner September 2021
    Denise ·
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    Oh they know she’s crazy not the first time she’s acted like this and it won’t be the last.
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  • Samantha
    VIP October 2022
    Samantha ·
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    Gray rock, gray rock, gray rock. Google it, it will literally change your life when dealing with people like this!
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  • D
    Beginner September 2021
    Denise ·
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    I just read about the gray rock method I have definitely used it somewhat before with her in fact a lot of my FH family have including himself but we just called it ignoring her . Doesn’t work that well it does for a short period of time but in the long run no. The only person who puts up with her more than others is my MIL but she is her daughter but she uses that to guilt her but now my MIL is seriously considering moving out of state and besides her no one else will deal with her my FH has made himself very clear in the matter and doesn’t want her in our life and his other sister feels the same way


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  • Samantha
    VIP October 2022
    Samantha ·
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    The thing about gray rock, it’s not for her, but for you!
    She has a fit - not your problem! She texts you in a temper calling you names - don’t answer. She says she’s not coming to your wedding? “I’m sorry you can’t make it.” She threatens whatever childish thing? It’s on her to act like a food!
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  • D
    Beginner September 2021
    Denise ·
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    The thing is she doesn’t do these things to me she does to my FH and the rest of the family and I’m caught in the middle of all the crazy
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  • Samantha
    VIP October 2022
    Samantha ·
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    Don’t be caught in the middle! It’s hard to start, but once you get in the habit of not allowing yourself to br drawn in, it will be amazing!
    If the people INSIST on forcing you to talk about it, a great way to put it on them (because why do they need to drag you in? What do they expect from that?) is to listen for a minute and then say “So what’s your plan?” You are not obligated to act in any way!
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  • D
    Beginner September 2021
    Denise ·
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    True I’ll keep that in mind if they ever come up with a plan other then ignore her cause that’s been there go to for many years
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  • Samantha
    VIP October 2022
    Samantha ·
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    I don’t mean to keep responding if it annoys you..but listen…you do not need to be in the middle. And mu suggestion about asking them for a plan is to put whatever they are trying to hand you right back in their lap.
    She causes chaos because people engage with her.
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  • D
    Beginner September 2021
    Denise ·
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    You are not annoying me promise I appreciate your responses and suggestions and for now I’m just going to leave it to my FH family and stay out of it as much as humanly possible
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  • Ellen
    Devoted October 2021
    Ellen ·
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    I have a brother who I’ve finally cut contact with. I was basically his babysitter after my dad died. Cleaning up his mess and drama. I had to stop for my own mental health. 12 years of drama. It sounds like your fiancé feels like this with her. It’s up to him how to deal with her and if he doesn’t want her there, I’d respect his choice. Unfortunately I get it. And what is a half birthday?! I’m so sorry you are going through this especially when it’s supposed to be a happy time for you and your fiancé. I wish you the best and sending hugs!
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  • D
    Beginner September 2021
    Denise ·
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    Thank you I appreciate it hopefully everything works out
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