Coworkers?

I’m confused. How will that save you money?

View Quoted Comment He said for the dinner part, he wants dinner to he more "intimate" like our family and that's it. And bridal party of course.

View Quoted Comment Should've specified that in the post, oops.

Excluding guests from the ceremony will save you exactly $0.

Bad idea!!!

You don't have to invite any of your coworkers, unless you're very close friends outside of work as well, and if you are, do not just invite them AFTER the meal is served.

View Quoted Comment He meant dinner purposes. Everything is one spot, and I told him its rude to invite our coworkers for everything, but not allow them for dinner.

My FH and I had a long talk about inviting our coworkers to our wedding. Of course we love them and want to share our day with them, but if I invited all of my coworkers that would be 30 additional people that I work with on a daily basis (not including their plus ones). His number would be much smaller b/c he works for a smaller company than I do (I work in timeshare, he does not).

We made the decision to invite only the coworkers that we spend time with outside of work. For him, that was 2 of his coworkers. For me, it was 8; and one of my 8 is one of my bridesmaids.

View Quoted Comment

Yeah, it's incredibly rude to invite someone to 1/3 of your event. If you can't afford to host them, don't invite them at all.

View Quoted Comment THANK YOU! I just feel its rude!!

View Quoted Comment That's what I said. I thought it was rude. 😔

As a teacher, I also wouldn’t invite all of your coworkers. Do you actually talk to/spend time with all of them on a daily basis/outside of work? There are weeks when I only see the K-3 teachers walking down the hall (or not even at all!) let alone having a conversation with them. Out of our 30+ staff, I’m only inviting 10 or so (plus their husbands/boyfriends). I’d say cut the amount of coworkers you’re inviting and invite them to the entire event.

View Quoted Comment You definitely don’t want to invite them to a ceremony and no dinner. That’s is really rude. If you can’t afford to invite them to everything than don’t invite them at all.

View Quoted Comment I do not. But my manager said If i were to invite anybody at all, I have to invite EVERYONE. I only talk to 5 teachers outside of work.

I agree with others that to be on the receiving end of an invitation that excluded me from your ceremony and the meal afterwards, and only invited me to come for dancing & drinking (and most wedding invitations include an unspoken expectation that I'm supposed to bring the B&G a gift...), I'd be pretty offended. It is perfectly fine to invite fewer people due to budget, space, personal preferences, but it's potentially going to be interpreted as extremely rude to invite some people to only parts of the celebration (especially the cheaper and least meaningful parts). One of the best suggestions I've read on this forum is to determine your maximum/ideal guest list, according to your budget/space/etc., and then invite in circles. First, the highest priority (typically, parents, siblings, grandparents, etc.), then the next closest group (close friends, possibly more extended family), and keep going until the list hits your maximum and you QUIT there.... If a co-worker made the cut because they are also one of your closest friends, cool; if some or all of them don't make the cut, that is fine. If someone is awkward/rude enough to specifically ask if they will be invited, just tell them unfortunately, due to budget/space/whatever, the wedding will be fairly intimate and you're not able to invite everyone you would like to. Most people will completely understand. Better to not invite than to invite in tiers.... Good luck!

View Quoted Comment Thank you!!!

View Quoted Comment

Okay, unless your manager is paying for your wedding, she gets no say in who you can invite. That's ridiculous.... Send invitations to the homes of your close co-workers, and ask them to be discreet about the wedding. I don't know where you work, but your manager cannot make that kind of a demand. If there is someone above her, a principal, HR, director, I'd make them aware of her inappropriate comment. Good luck!

View Quoted Comment Yeah...inviting all 20 teachers just because they’re coworkers is kind of ridiculous. It is okay for you to decide not to invite anyone from work, or only the handful that you socialize with outside of work. Your wedding is not a kindergarten birthday party— where you have to invite the whole class so know one feels bad. These are all adults here, they can handle not being invited to some events, just because you work at the same place does not make them deserve an invite, and SERIOUSLY this is not the manager’s choice. It’s messed up for her to have said that. I do think when only inviting a handful of coworkers it is nice for them to use some discretion and not talk a lot about it in mixed company, but still, you control the guestlist!

View Quoted Comment Your manager is not paying for your wedding, so she gets no input. I actually would be confused if I were invited to a coworker’s wedding whom I wasn’t close to. I’d text the 5 you’re closest to to find their addresses and just let them know you’re not inviting everyone so to please not announce it to the school.

View Quoted Comment That is utterly absurd. Your manager gets no say in this. She is treating you like a child and I would have no tolerance for that.


Ignore what she says. Invite those you are close to and host them for the whole wedding.

Your manager is completely in the wrong, BUT you have to get along with him or her. It is rude (at least in the US) to invite guests for after the dinner. I think the manager is confusing this with a child's birthday partner