Coworkers

You're not obligated to invite anyone to your wedding, however, you should be prepared to deal with the repercussions of excluding one person.

In the absence of any bad actions it is unkind to exclude just one or two of a group. If you feel hurt or your reputation damaged due to his gossip, that is a deliberate, knowing thing he has done that would be assumed to be hurtful. That is one of 2 standard etiquette points. The other, for coworkers or someone in a club, is do you have a reciprocal social relationship. Would you / have you done things socially, outside of work or your club. If he has not been that kind of outside of work so ial friend, because neither of you wants a social relationship, then there is no reason to invite him. As for the others you like, be it Christmas cards or doing something after work, or signaling them that as a married couple you will want to be on social terms, that is the reason for inviting the others. If anyone asks, including him, politely say, We invited people I have a relationship outside of work, a social relationship. And nothing more. He knows as well as you do that you have never been social friends. ( I assuming that.)

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Thank you for your thoughts, Judith. He and I are not social outside of work, but I am with other coworkers. I figured if it is mentioned, I will politely bring up our budget and social relationships outside of work. My coworkers know we don't socialize outside of the workplace and they also know he is an extremely picky eater. I honestly think most if not all of them would understand. Also, he's going to gossip about me whether or not he is invited and I personally don't want to invite someone who would attend just to nitpick my wedding.

I work in an office of 12 people... I'm only inviting three of them. I honestly don't care for the others and don't want them there. If their feelings are hurt by it, maybe they should have been nicer to me and each other over the past 5/6 years. Your wedding, your choice.

When it comes to coworkers i think it depends on how many there are. for instance if it's a large office of 50 people and you work closely with 5 then it's ok to just invite those 5 vs all 50. but if there's only 5 then it's kind of weird to only invite 4 out of the 5 even if you don't like that 5th person. i had a dozen coworkers and in reality i only wanted to invite like half or a little more than half of them haha but i invited them all anyway just because i didn't want to exclude those few people

Don't invite him, there is no obligation just because you work together and is inviting other co workers.

Only invite those you are close to.

View Quoted Comment Yes, he is right in the etiquette bullseye for not being invited for good reason. Even if all else are invited, they are friends socially, and they are not malicious gossips. You are not arbitrarily excluding just one. ( though being a picky eater should not be mentioned. ) I am tired of hearing, well you have to invite everyone, be fair. Never ostracize someone from a minor event, because of their looks, or their clothes or little arbitrary things, yes. But spending $100-200 on someone just not a friend, is something a host can do. And kids, to invite all the kids you know well, and not kids you simply don't know ( in families) is another silly, it's not fair complaint I would like to see squelched.

I wouldn't invite him! Your not friends or social, you shouldn't fell obligated to invite him.

I only invited one co worker, but I don't call her my coworker because we are really friends.

I invited all of my coworkers (even the ones I didn’t really want to invite lol). I didn’t want to be rude and exclude anyone...thankfully, only the ones I’m close to rsvp’d and showed. I guess you can invite him and cross your fingers!! This is only if he’s the only person you would be not inviting. If there’s several people you don’t plan to invite from work, then it shouldn’t be rude to “exclude” him

We both agreed to invite ten co-workers (SO included) from the office and limited it to those we have a personal relationship with outside the office.

You do not have to invite him. Inviting co-workers can be tricky especially is you have al lot of gossips in your workplace.