Coworkers

Do you have a large wedding? because 30 coworkers is a lot of people especially if you factor in spouses. if you had to only invite the ones you actually want there -- how many would that be? if your answer is most of them then ok just invite all 30 but if your answer is like 1/3 or less than 30, then just invite the ones you truly want to invite only or that you work very close with.

If you don’t want to invite all 30 then you can’t send a group message to all 30. They might all say yes and send you their address for an invitation. Only invite the coworkers who you are truly close with and regularly interact with outside of work. If you aren’t really close with any of them, then don’t invite them.

View Quoted Comment We’re having about 150-200 people. I know all 30 wont want to go because I don’t regularly talk to all of them. But my thing is making people feel obligated if I invite them

I wouldn't do that, you may very well end up with an additional 60 like prior posts say.

I would just ask people personally who I was close with outside of work as well. If you are not friends outside of work I wouldn't invite them to your wedding. I ended up inviting 5 people that I work with and no one else and maybe some others wish they could have come but Im sure they understand we are not as close

View Quoted Comment

This is excellent advice. The reason people recommend only inviting coworkers you are friends with outside of work is because work friendships often fade very quickly after someone changes jobs. And remember, you need to invite their significant others, too, so keep that in mind for your budget and guest count.

If you’re ok with all 30 plus spouses coming, I think it’s ok to invite them all officially. If they don’t want to or can’t come, trust me they won’t.

Be ready that if you ask in that forum that all 30 coworkers and their plus ones could possibly say yes. I don’t think it’s crazy to only invite coworkers who you have a personal outside of work relationship with.

Never feel obligated to invite people to your wedding or worry about whose feelings you will hurt. Plus you want people who you are close with and have a relationship with attend your wedding. If you don’t hangout with coworkers outside of work, it’s like inviting strangers to your wedding

I think that would be fine. Just don't be surprised if the majority want to come 😉

The general rule with coworkers is to invite those you see socially (so outside of work). You are not obligated to invite those you only see at work. I'm not sure I would ask people to send address "if they want to come" because it makes it seem like you're asking them to fish for invites and don't actually want them there or value their presence.
Refrain from talking about the wedding with or in front of those you are not inviting and ask for addresses personally.

View Quoted Comment This could backfire on you— I’ve never felt *obligated* to go to a wedding I’ve been invited to (if I want to go , I will if I can make it work with my schedule and finances, and if I can’t it’s not the end of the world). If I got a blanket invite from a work group FB it could go a couple different ways for me. 1. I might want to go but not be sure how to take such a post , kind of like a “sounds fun but am I really wanted there?” feeling. 2. If it was someone I wasn’t super close to , I might actually feel more obligated *to* go, if it’s a publicly announced work thing— like ehh I’m not that close to this person but all my friends are going I want to go too! or I’m not that close to this person but maybe they’re trying to get more people to come ? I could go type of feeling. 3. Finally for me, most applicable is : I don’t spend that much time on FB, I miss posts all the time. If one of my good coworker friends posted that and I didn’t see and respond, would I miss out on getting an invite ? That would be a bummer ! And I’d hope my friend didn’t think I didn’t want to come just because I missed a post !

Sure thats a great idea. Or you can give them a invitation the same way you are giving your other guest with a deadline to respond if they will be attending

Be careful with this plan....some people hear weddings and automatically want to go regardless of whose wedding it actually is. I work in healthcare and float between 20 different locations...there are people that I have only met a few times asking to be invited to my wedding. That's a hard pass for me...of the about 40 people I work with with any frequency only 11 are actually invited to our wedding.

View Quoted Comment My wedding is also an hour or more away so I don’t anticipate many people from work wanting to go maybe 5 if that. I just don’t want to invite someone and make them feel like they have to drive and hour and get me a gift when they didnt want to go

View Quoted Comment

I understand. Our wedding will be a minimum of an hour away from any of my coworkers...some closer to 2 hours away...one of the crazy people who keeps begging to come to my wedding (still...after being told our guest list is at the maximum capacity and unfortunately we just don't have room...lol) is 2.5 hours from my wedding location...

Basically I just recommend inviting the ones that you actually talk to outside of work. If you are wanting to celebrate with your co workers...maybe do a "happy hour" sometime-have drinks and appetizers and celebrate that way so it is not such a formal thing?

You replied that you don’t want your coworkers to feel obligated to say yes. Then you mentioned not wanting then to drive an hour. If you’re struggling this much with deciding, then the answer sounds like “no”. Especially since you don’t have those same concerns about your other invited guests. A guest list isn’t this hard and shouldn’t require such a mental battle. If you only invite those who you truly hang with, talk to and are close to you (and not a bunch of “just because” outsiders), then the list creates itself.