Coworker Wedding Gift Question

You aren't obligated to get a gift - my office we don't get gifts necessarily we all contribute money if we want and get a gift card, but no obligation.

Work showers a generally one where it’s not considered rude to invite people to the shower but not the wedding. However, you should not feel obligated in any way!
A few years ago a co worker got married and she and I had a history of (professional) conflict. I did not go to her shower or give a gift. I’ve since worked hard to repair the relationship and we are often allies now, but it was BAD back then. I was not giving her a gift LOL

Typically when people throw bridal showers at work they know they aren't being invited to the wedding its usually just something nice to do for a coworker like a birthday cake.


You don't have to feel obligated to buy a gift. Like AJ said most if the time coworkers pitch in for a gift card anyways.

First, it should be stated that while gifts are obviously expected at showers, they are never required. Gifting is elective, and in true politeness, it should never be implied that it is required at all.

If you are being invited to the shower, then the only actual expectation that should be had of you is that you show up if you RSVP.

If you are concerned you would get side-eyed for not bringing "something", get a pretty wedding card.

If you truly feel inclined, you could get a gift card. But if it were me, I would simply get her a pretty card.

Personally, no, I would not buy a gift off the registry, and I think it's improper for your coworkers to imply that you are expected to. The registry should be for guests of the actual wedding, which you are not. If a non-wedding guest elects to buy from the registry of their own volition, then by all means they may do so - but the wedding registry is for the wedding guests.

Who on earth implied that you should buy gifts off the registry? How awkward and unnecessary. Usually for work showers, everyone pitches in a token amount for a cheap group gift, if anything at all.

I’d suggest a card and a gift card to a fav coffee shop with a little note along the lines of, “I know wedding planning is exhausting. Hope this helps!”

Do they have a registry? They are often publicly listed and you can ask them where the registry is. Get something from that in your budget.


Work showers are exempt from being invited to the wedding mandate according to proper etiquette.