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Ashley
May 2021

covid Wedding

Ashley, on January 1, 2021 at 12:35 PM Posted in Planning 0 16

Hi guys, happy new year! My fiancé and I are supposed to be getting married 5/28/21 in CT with about 100-150 guests, but I'm very back and forth about whether or not to postpone to 2022. We've also booked about half of our vendors if that makes a difference. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

16 Comments

Latest activity by OMo, on January 3, 2021 at 12:35 AM
  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
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    This is a common concern and really no one can answer this but you and your fh. I say that because there are brides that will get married on their date even if just them and their future partner and for some brides it is super important to have the big day with a lot of people and the party reception. Me personally I would not postpone unless I or my husband caught COVID itself because I did not want to wait to become his wife. You and your fh need to sit and talk to make that decision.

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  • Lauren
    Expert July 2021
    Lauren ·
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    I agree with Kristen. You alone can make the decision. I decided to keep my July date no matter what (on Long Island). We will be almost 33 then and want to move forward with our lives. We decided we will find ways to celebrate with those that matter most if that means doing a BBQ at a later date for friends or something.


    If I was a little younger, I would probably choose to postpone to get what I always dreamed of. However, no matter the count at this point I am just excited to marry my guy.
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  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa ·
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    It's totally up to you and your fiance! Would you rather keep your date and potentially have to downsize your guest list/wear masks/social distance? Or postpone to a new date, but likely be able to keep your full guest list for your new date? There's no wrong answer, it totally just depends on what you're looking for. My fiance and I postponed from July 2020 to July 2022, since we wanted to be able to include everyone that we invited, and also because the restrictions were causing our wedding to be something other than what we had envisioned and planned for, and we were OK with waiting it out for two years to be able to keep that vision. However, other couples wanted to keep their date for various reasons, so some of them downsized the guest list and continued as planned. Others held a super small ceremony on their original date and postponed the larger reception to a later date. Talk with your fiance to find out what direction you want to take. Another thing you could do is still plan for your original date for now, but also work with your venue and vendors to come up with a backup plan just in case. If you go this route, I would make a decision in March as to whether to continue as planned or switch to the backup plan.
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  • Liz
    Devoted June 2022
    Liz ·
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    Our wedding was supposed to be 4/30/21 but we’re going to work on postponing a year this month. We’ve talked to some of our important guests and bridal party and they said they would be worried about coming or wouldn’t be able to come until after everyone/enough people are vaccinated. We also have already been together ten years, live together, and don’t plan on having kids, so we don’t have any major life events depending on us getting married. I would take all these things into account when thinking about whether or not to postpone. If you don’t mind having a smaller ceremony and are waiting on major life events like living together or having kids I would go for it. But if you won’t be able to have the wedding you want with the people that matter to you if you have it this year I would postpone.
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  • A
    Dedicated August 2022
    Ane ·
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    I also agree that it is a very personal decision! We postponed our NYC August 2021 wedding to August 2022, back in September once it really sank in that things wouldn’t improve fast enough. I personally believe people should not have traditional weddings right now. It’s not worth the risk to me, but again, I haven’t socialized at all during this pandemic—haven’t eaten at a restaurant, haven’t traveled, haven’t been around my parents (or anyone) without masks or distance, and haven’t socialized indoors with anyone but my fiancé, who I live with. He’s a nurse and we went through hell in NYC in the spring. It’s a sacrifice, but I feel like it’s the right thing to do right now. But there are people still traveling and partying without a care in the world :/.


    That being said, I guess there are people trying to have “safe” weddings—with masks, and distance, and sanitizers, and no dancing, etc. That just wasn’t for us. We really want our dream wedding and are willing to wait for it. We also don’t feel any rush to get married now and celebrate later because we’ve been together for so long and nothing will really change—plus we don’t want to lose that special feeling of the wedding day being the actual day you get married. Eloping was also not the right choice for us because we really care about the big celebration. We also care about the journey—the fun planning, the bridal shower, the dress shopping, the food tasting, the bachelor/bachelorette trips, international honeymoon, etc.—clearly all things that can’t happen yet and will not happen before summer 2021. As hard as it was to give up our date and wait longer (we’ll end up with an almost 3 year engagement), we knew it was the right choice for what we wanted and it made more sense to make the decision sooner rather than later so that we can move all of our vendors easily and have first dibs on remaining vendors for 2022. I also hated the sad feeling I had of not being able to be excited because I was not sure if the wedding was going to happen. So I think if you really want the big wedding you planned, it makes sense to postpone to 2022 now. If you are willing to make sacrifices (minimony, elope, cancel last minute, drastically reduce guest list, etc.) then perhaps you can wait to see things through.
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  • A
    Super September 2020
    Alli ·
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    Agree with all of the above! There will be restrictions and capacity limitations, so is a small guest count okay with you both along with masks or would you rather postpone to when it could possibly be max capacity at the venue again...
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  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
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    I think age is a huge factor too. I am 39 and I knew I wanted to be married before 40 lol. Even my friends that got married late 30's did not wait years to save up for a big wedding rather did one within their budget.

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  • Yasmine
    Master October 2020
    Yasmine ·
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    I would wait until at least March to make a decision because anything can happen.
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  • Katie
    VIP August 2020
    Katie ·
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    A relative of mine who has a May date is waiting till February to make a decision whether to move forward or postpone. Been there myself so I sympathize with how much weight the decision holds! ❤️
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  • Liz
    Devoted June 2021
    Liz ·
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    Such a personal decision. We postponed from June 2020 to June 2021 and are moving forward unless things go drastically backwards. We are hoping all our high risk guests will be vaccinated and a good 70% of our guest work in schools and school personnel are supposed to be part of the 3rd of vaccines in Massachusetts. Wedding is in NH which still has very few restrictions now. So fingers crossed and in we go! Definitely not waiting yet another year.
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  • Kayse
    Expert December 2020
    Kayse ·
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    If you can postpone, I definitely would. My planning was characterized by extreme anxiety, followed by crushing disappointment when my family told me two days out that they would not be attending, and subsequent fear/guilt that someone may have contracted COVID at our event. Some factors for us which made us reluctant to postpone are that I am 36 and my gynecologists told me not to postpone again (original date was in June) due to fertility, and my endocrinologist thinks I may need surgery and agreed to let me wait until January to get an ultrasound to determine if it's necessary, etc. Just my opinion based on what I went through. Best of luck!

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  • Mrs. Spring
    Master April 2021
    Mrs. Spring ·
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    Many nuptials have gone through this. Some postpone while others downsize and continue on.
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  • Future Mrs. G
    Just Said Yes July 2021
    Future Mrs. G ·
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    My wedding date is 07/10/2021 and I honestly have not thought about postponing. I’m very hopeful that everyone will have the vaccine by then and we can have our dream wedding as normal. I would hate to have a small intimate wedding as I have always dreamed of a big wedding with all my family members. If it’s recommended 2-3 months out I will then consider it but as of right now I really don’t even want to think about it lol.
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  • Nagoya
    Beginner October 2022
    Nagoya ·
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    Congratulations, it’s really hard to say to postpone or not. I would ask the venues about their policies (COVID). I’ve also seen some beautiful weddings done with less ppl. Mines is in 2022 in CT and Idk what to expect.
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  • V
    Savvy June 2022
    VM ·
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    My fiancé and I just had this same discussion! It depends on your vision for your day. We wanted a big wedding (150-180 ppl) and have booked al our vendors, but we’re worried about the restrictions so we moved it to 2022! If you are set on your date, I would wait a few more months before deciding if you should move it or downsize your guest list just in case. Your wedding will be wonderful regardless ❤️
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  • O
    Just Said Yes June 2021
    OMo ·
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    First, congratulations! We're getting married 5/1/21 - I have this same conversation with FH on the daily. We have scaled back from 125 people to 50 people. We currently live in a county that does not allow more than 25 people, so I'm hoping that increases by May (fingers crossed), but also have a scenario with only 25. Even if my county allowed more than 50 by May, I wouldn't feel comfortable having more than that while keeping safety first. To address the small guest list, we've chosen one or two people from each "house" (for lack of a better word) to be "representatives" for their line of the family, and others will get a version of our invitation with a Zoom link and the name of their representative(s). Even if only 10 people are allowed, we're just going to have a small lavish dinner party with a full band at our gorgeous venue (which is mostly outside) and that will be that. Like other brides have mentioned, I'm about to be 42, let's get this show on the road! I've been to a "covid wedding" with masks and physical distancing and no dancing - it was beautiful, powerful, and I'm so glad I was able to be there. Best of luck to you all! I'm in the DC area if this helps!
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