Covid vaccines, tests, guests, vendors

Our wedding in Southern CA has been postponed twice from when it was originally scheduled in 2020 and is now scheduled for the end of Oct, 2021 with both the ceremony and reception outside along with other Covid protections like masks for anyone that wants them and hand sanitizer stations. Luckily my fiancé and I have already been vaccinated along with many of our family members. I’m immunocompromised, there for high risk, so we need to require everyone over the age of 16 to be fully vaccinated at least 2 weeks before the wedding. If someone doesn’t want to be vaccinated or doesn’t want to share they’re vaccine status with us they, unfortunately, will not be able to attend the wedding in person. Instead we will providing them access to attend virtually.


As to our vendors, we contacted all of them last week to ask that any of their staff working the wedding to be vaccinated too. I think they were happy to have this discussion early and to know that this extra layer of precaution will be taken because it keeps their staff safer too. I also used templates from this website to help me word emails for both my guests and vendors https://www.elisabethkramer.com/unwed/covid-wedding-vendor-vaccine-test
Our wedding day is about my fiancé and I and we are entitled to feel safe while celebrating with our family and friends after very difficult year. I think anyone who wants to requiring that their guests and vendors be vaccinated for the wedding is entitled too.

I think with these things we need to think about how much is reasonable to expect of our guests versus what is inappropriate to burden them with. For me, asking for a test is reasonable, asking people to quarantine for any period of time or to get a vaccine is not.


"But I need X to feel safe" -Thats valid. But there is a line where it can't be put on your guests, and you will need to decide how to feel safe another way by postponing or eloping or cutting the guest list or moving the event outside.
It's just not appropriate to ask guests to vaccinate or quarantine to attend your event, and it will damage your relationship with your friends and family

View Quoted Comment Lots of people who want to get vaccinated can't. If you don't feel safe, I would change your plans rather than put that kind of requirement on your guests

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And that's why we are having the wedding in October, according to our gov't anyone who wants the vaccine should have it available to them by the end of May. I understand that you don't think it's appropriate to ask wedding guests to be vaccinated. My fiancé and I just don't agree, especially after having this discussion with many close friends and family members who plan to attend the wedding. They all agreed with me and urged me to have this restriction for everyone's safety. If the restriction is too much of a burden for some guests and they don't come we're perfectly ok with a small wedding. The people who truly understand the reason we need to do this will be the ones we most want at the wedding anyway.

View Quoted Comment I agree with everything you said here. It is absolutely an invasion of privacy. The way I see it, I’m having my wedding for me and my husband. Guests are invited but not required to come. If they come, it is their responsibility to protect themselves in ways they see necessary or not. They know the risks.

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Thanks! Interesting that the requirement is coming from the state. I'm in NH and our state hasn't updated wedding guidance since June 2020, so its difficult to say what changes could come later this year. Appreciate your response!

View Quoted Comment I mean they can't ever for health reasons.

View Quoted Comment Then unfortunately they can’t come and that’s why we are providing a virtual opinion for our wedding. This is just the decision my fiancé and I came to. But it’s a very personal decision for each couple and I don’t think there’s a right or wrong answer it just depends on the couple and there priorities. I just wanted to give the original poster the perspective and reasons of someone who is asking everyone to be vaccinated since most others said they wouldn’t be.

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So, part of my perspective comes from working at a college in a state that has implemented very cautious restrictions throughout the pandemic (Vermont). Working at a college has enabled me a much more intimate look on mitigative measures implemented across many aspects of human experience (from sports and social events to transportation to food service and dining to indoor and outdoor venues to hygiene practices) that directly correlate to safety at weddings. I see what has worked really well for us and where the cracks in the system have been. In Vermont, depending on where students and families were coming from and how they arrived to campus, the state has required all students and families to quarantine either prior to arriving on campus, once they got on campus, or a combination of both. If entire families can be expected to quarantine for two weeks (no going to work, no grocery store trips, no leaving the house of any kind) prior to bringing their kid to college, it doesn't seem to be a huge stretch to ask someone to obtain a negative Covid test and then quarantine between the time the test was administered and the wedding itself, which would be a period of no more than a few days. People can choose to be vaccinated, choose to be tested, or choose not to go to a wedding. I don't see how asking people to be vaccinated or tested to participate safely in your wedding is any more harmful to a relationship than not inviting them.

We tend to align ourselves with people who have similar values, so I suspect that in most cases, a couple who feels vaccines are necessary for safety are going to have friends and family who agree and will also feel safer if others are vaccinated and be happy to see such precautions implemented. While having a smaller outdoor event mitigates some risk, it doesn't give a couple the same layer of safety that having a fully vaccinated group of guests and vendors does.

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This is why vaccine or test could be an effective strategy. Vaccinations provide a layer of safety for both the individual who is vaccinated AND all the people around them, including those who cannot be vaccinated. Anyone who could not be vaccinated could obtain a test, or proof of recent Covid infection between 14-90 days prior (Covid PCR tests may show positive results up to 90 days after a recent Covid infection, even in an individual who is no longer infected or has the ability to infect anyone else). Another commenter pointed out that when Covid testing first became more widely available, many said asking guests to obtain a test prior to their wedding was invasive, and now it seems almost commonplace and even a requirement in some jurisdictions. Vaccination requirements could easily be normalized over time, particularly if airlines, employers, schools, and other groups required them.

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Really appreciate your insight about having this conversation with your vendors. I had already seen many of the vaccination requirement threads regarding guests, but I'm very curious if other couples have initiated this conversation with their vendors OR had their vendors tell them that they will be vaccinated or have certain expectations of guests/hosts. That link you provided is such a great resource!

View Quoted Comment Data is starting to come out that the vaccines can prevent asymptomatic infection and reduce the viral loads. Still a lot of unanswered questions, but great news if the ongoing research continues to show this. I wouldn’t bank on this with the still limited research.


https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/more/fully-vaccinated-people.html

My state doesn’t have too many guidelines. None for weddings. We are going to a wedding tonight and the couple hasn’t mentioned anything about COVID protocols. Just like you have mentioned, we are going to judge our comfort and leave if we feel the environment is too risky.

View Quoted Comment May I ask why, if you're requiring everyone else to get vaccinated, you wouldn't allow someone who can't (not won't) receive the vaccine to come?

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Wait, who is saying the vaccine is only effective for a couple of months?

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Hi Kristin - Sure I’m happy to explain For simplicity's sake, we are putting you must be vaccinated if you're over the age of 16 on our wedding website, this is where all this info will be available to our friends and family. We also added if anyone has any questions or concerns to please let us know. With the hope that in the very unlikely scenario, that someone we’re close enough to to invite to our wedding has a disease that we don’t know about that also prevents them from getting the vaccine, would contact us privately to address with us. So it's actually not an absolute hard line if there turns out to be a special case or 2. The vaccine card is surface-level information about a person that soon some colleges, airlines, stadiums, workplaces, and travel to countries outside the US could require. There’s no info on it other than your name, date of birth, and the fact that you got the vaccine on the card; 2 out of 3 you have to show the bartender serving you drinks at the wedding anyway. We have this perspective because I have relapsing-remitting MS and I have to make decisions on what I feel comfortable sharing and not sharing with people all the time. So to me sharing the info on the vaccine card is nothing especially when it means protecting our friends, family, and vendors. Hope that answers your question!

View Quoted Comment Everyone... the companies of the vaccines themselves, immunologists, and the CDC. As a doctor, if someone asks how long the vaccine is effective for, an appropriate response is “they’re still studying that, but possibly a few months per the CDC right now...”
It’s tragic.

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That is not exactly true. Currently, no one knows for sure how long immunity from vaccines (or previous infection) lasts, largely because the earliest vaccine trials started less than a year ago, but most experts suspect its more than just a few months.

There is a huge difference between saying "experts are not sure how long vaccines provide immunity, it could range from a few months to several years, this is still being studied" and "vaccines are only effective for a couple of months."

Additionally, whoever commented that the vaccines don't provide prevent transmission is also NOT correct. Scientists are studying this as well. There is strong evidence that the vaccines provide robust prevention against infection, and the small percentage of individuals who do get infected after being vaccinated are more likely to have asymptomatic or milder infections, lower viral loads, and a shorter infectious period, all of which reduce the likelihood of infecting others. Additionally all of the vaccines approved in the USA are 100% effective against severe disease resulting in hospitalizations and death. It is unknown to what extent the vaccines prevent transmission, but it is not common for vaccines to provide robust protection against infection and yet have no impact on transmission - we just don't have examples of vaccines that turn people into typhoid Marys. Scientists, unlike certain political figures, are wary of making claims without evidence, so the impact of Covid vaccines on preventing transmission is still considered unknown and under investigation. There is a huge difference between saying "vaccines don't prevent transmission" and "experts do not yet know whether or not vaccines prevent transmission." The science we have suggests it is likely that vaccines do prevent transmission to some extent, we just don't know how much.

Presenting unknowns as absolutes is misleading, and spreading misinformation about vaccines is the large reason why people are fearful of being vaccinated. Social media continues to spread myths and perpetuate misinformation about the Covid-19 virus and vaccines, even though we have scientific consensus regarding prevention strategies, vaccine safety, and other Covid-19 related data. Yes there is still a lot we don't know, but we have learned a ton in the past year and new research comes out nearly every day. I'd highly recommend ditching Facebook and Twitter as a main source of Covid and vaccine information and relying on well respected scientific organizations and news organizations the engage in responsible journalism instead. Some of my favorites include:

World Health Organization

US CDC

Johns Hopkins Coronavirus Resource Center

New York Times

NPR

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Reena, thanks for sharing this link!

View Quoted Comment My quote is from the CDC

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Try again:

https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/vaccines/faq.html

Screenshot was taken just now. Again, I will emphasize "we don't know how long protection lasts" (CDC quote) is much different than "they’re saying it is only effective for a couple of months" (your quote). You went so far as to say if someone was vaccinated in March it wouldn't do them any good for a wedding in October, which is simply not based on any science we currently have. Presenting an unknown as an absolute is incorrect and misleading.

Language matters. Facts matter. Science matters.