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Just Said Yes November 2021

covid restriction?

Shelby, on August 13, 2021 at 9:48 AM Posted in Planning 0 6

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I’m having a little internal conflict. I know that Covid is a very touchy topic for most people now. Especially with the delta hit. I live in South Carolina and it’s running through my hometown hard. We’ve loss so many people and it’s very upsetting. Today marks 3 months until the wedding (November 13). Our guest list is around 220-240 people. I’m wondering if I should be proactive and start to cut back. Luckily we’re getting married on a Farm so the ceremony is completely outside and the reception is in an open Barn so it’s essentially completely outside. We are planning to provide mask and hand sanitizer for each guest.

I had a close friend who got married last year who went through so many hoops with Covid restrictions and I saw how stressful it was. They postponed, cut out kids, lessen their guest list and a month before had to change venues (as well as decor, catering, reception area, DJ and EVERYTHING). Planning a wedding is hard enough (as y’all all know). My biggest issue is the guest list. I’m contemplating cutting it short or keep it as is. However I’m so worried that if I go through with our bigger guest list then a restriction will be put in place later on and I’ll have to uninvite people. Then I’m also worried if I cut my guest list now and the big day comes and there’s no restriction then I did it for nothing. I feel like either choice people’s feelings will get hurt.
I’m lost and confused not knowing what to do. Unfortunately my fiancé is a go with the flow guy so he “stands with whichever decision I choose”. Which on any other occasion is awesome but I need help here. We are sending out our save the dates this week and I need to figure it out but I don’t know what the best option is. Any tips or comments are welcome but please be respectful. I don’t want this to be a debate on whether or not mask/ vaccine are helpful etc.
Also to put in perspective; both my dad and I work in the hospital. He is an CVT and I’m a RT. Fiancé is a machinist. My sister and MIL are teachers. My FIL owns a small engine repair store. South Carolina does not have a mask requirement currently and I highly doubt one will be in place by the time of the wedding. Both mine and my fiancé close family is fully vaccinated and so is part of the bridal party.

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6 Comments

VIP July 2017
Becky · on August 13, 2021 at 10:09 AM
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Honestly, what I would do is forego the save the dates. It will give you more flexibility when it comes time to send invitations. If there are restrictions (or you don't feel good about inviting that many people) then you can send invitations to the smaller group; if you feel good and there are no restrictions you invite everyone.
What I would do (now) is start making smaller lists (50; 100; 150) of who you *have* to have at each invitation level. That way if you do decide to invite fewer people, you already have the lists to hand.
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Dedicated September 2021
K · on August 13, 2021 at 10:26 AM
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Yeah, I would do this and put off inviting people as long as possible in case restrictions are put in place.

As far as the philosophical/moral question of whether you should be having a large wedding (assuming no restrictions) I would guess that COVID is a permanent installment and this is just the way it’s going to be from now on. So if you want a big wedding I would not wait around for COVID to go away to make that happen.
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VIP May 2022
Jasmine S. · on August 13, 2021 at 10:47 AM
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If you're only 3 months out, maybe you could send invites early? Then you will get some RSVPs back and have a sense of how many people will decline anyway. You may not have to make cuts if 50 people decide not to come, if that makes sense.
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Expert September 2021
Meghan · on August 13, 2021 at 11:12 AM
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We sent out our save the dates a tad later than usual and sent our invites out in July. Our wedding is this September (in NJ and we live in NY). We’ve kinda been going with the flow because there’s no way to tell how things will be in the future. We are meeting with our venue next week to go over details and we do know that they have an outdoor area available for us. If we do have to cut our list, we’ll def. offer other services like zoom. I know it’s not ideal, but do think a lot of people are understandable with everything going on.
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Jm Sunshine · on August 13, 2021 at 11:12 PM
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I totally agree with this. STDs are usually sent out 6-12 months from wedding date. I wouldn't bother with them if you're only 3 months away. This way you have a bit of time to see what happens with restrictions.
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Expert June 2021
· on August 14, 2021 at 5:34 AM
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I’m sorry you are having such a stressful time. Wedding planning is already so stressful and adding covid to the mix is indescribable. My husband and I got married in June but had to make the hard decision last September regarding our guest list. It was hard to know what the next summer would look like but we only had 2020 to go on and also did not want to have to take back invites. So we cut the list and ultimately when we had our wedding early June things were looking way better with high vaccination rates and low cases but we were happy with our decision of reducing the list. Guests were happy and felt comfortable. It gave us one last thing to stress about Never knowing if the restrictions would change. We offered live streaming option for guests who we couldn’t invite. Yeah, feelings were hurt but the way I see it as that’s something we could take because the alternative of loved ones we invited to host at our wedding possibly getting sick or worse was something we could not live with. Then each anniversary I know I would think about it depending on the outcome. But we had a intimate safe wedding with mandatory testing and or vaccinations. The people closest to us were in attendance and that is what mattered most. Every guest complied with testing and vaccination requests and I honestly think it wouldn’t have been the same with a larger crowd because there’s more voices and opinions. I say do what will make you feel less stressed. And don’t plan for what you think may come later. I always like to plan with what’s currently going on that way you’re always prepared and not taken off guard later. If you aren’t ready to make that choice yet then you can always forego the save the dates and buy you more time and just send invites 8-6 weeks out. But I would suggest drafting up a smaller guest list of your must have people just in case you do down size. Good luck!
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